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AIBU?

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Original poster

Jeremy Forrest verdict - aibu to be confused?

999 replies

noddyboulder · 20/06/2013 14:54

Yep, I don't think even his own parents could deny he's a massive, hideous scumbag with no impulse control - but how can he have been found guilty of abduction when the girl he had an affair with said it was her idea to go to France and she went willingly?

Can somebody legal shed some light?

OP posts:
Innacorner · 20/06/2013 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 20/06/2013 22:01

Well said, Flippinada. They were also the same age and neither of tjem was in a position of power over the other.

Dawndonna · 20/06/2013 22:03

Romeo and Juliet were both the same age.

There may be little difference between 15 and 16, however, he still would have been wrong, as a teacher to seduce a pupil. In fact it is odd and unusual for a 30 year old to be remotely interested in a 16 year old and I for one would be questioning the power at play in such a relationship. I say this as someone who has a husband 12 years younger than me.

lougle · 20/06/2013 22:04

"I think they should both have been held in contempt of court."

On what grounds? Hmm

What JF did was totally unacceptable. He's been found guilty of it. I don't think he can be found in contempt of court for saying 'I love you.'

lougle · 20/06/2013 22:08

"What's the difference between a 15 year old and a 16 year old? Apart from legally being over the age of consent, there's not that much difference emotionally. "

Idis, the issue isn't that she was 15, not 16. The difference was that she was 15, not 18 because he was in a position of trust. The law specifically increases the age of consent for relationships between people where there is an inherent imbalance of power due to the privilege of one party (e.g. a teacher) due to their position of trust.

Alisvolatpropiis · 20/06/2013 22:08

dawndonna Romeo was 17 to Juliet's 13. Modern day society wouldn't have looked kindly on their relationship either.

I've always loathed Romeo and Juliet. Even at 13/14 I remember thinking "if that's romance I'm alright without,how stupid".

Idislikemymil · 20/06/2013 22:11

Yes I do have children, not teenagers yet. But I was also a 15 year old girl once. He shouldn't have acted on his impulses, I completely agree. He made mistakes.

Is it possible that the day a child turns 16, they suddenly become able to make their own decisions and should be treated as an adult? 15 year olds vary in maturity so much, some will be more mature and able than the average 16 year old.

Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy, yes.

RikeBider · 20/06/2013 22:16

Maybe they are really in love? Think about what that means. Love isn't something that happens impulsively and instantly, to fall in love with someone you need to spend time with them, get intimate with them.

I'm never going to fall in love with a 14 year old because I am not going to engineer alone time with them, send them private messages, kiss them, have sex with them.

You don't fall in love with someone by spending an 1 hour in week with them in a room with 25 other people.

I can imagine she probably is in love with him - vulnerable, suicidal, and here's a man who is spending time with her, writing songs for her, telling her he loves her. Of course a 14 year old is vulnerable to that.

RikeBider · 20/06/2013 22:19

A relationship between a 16 year old and a 30 year old is still very dubious. A relationship between a 16 year old school girl and her 30 year old teacher is still illegal. The fact that 14/15 is almost 16 is irrelevant here.

FreudiansSlipper · 20/06/2013 22:21

If the teacher was a woman running away with a 15 year old boy no one would be thinking they would be in love, or a male teacher running off with a 15 year old boy most would view that as very wrong but a teenage girl full of hormones is just too sexually inviting to heterosexual men

we have to rid this notion that men just can not help themselves when sex is on offer as it is totally untrue it's seeps into so many issues and allows too many men to abuse women and girls and not only get away with it but be excused for their actions

Idislikemymil · 20/06/2013 22:21

I'm off to bed. Let's see what sentence he gets tomorrow. I think I'm definitely in the minority with my opinions! I do have some personal experience of this situation, as I know lots of others do. To me, it's just a forbidden love story.

FeegleFion · 20/06/2013 22:24

Let me set the record straight in terms of Romeo and bloody Juliet (or any other teen romance).

IF a teen couple who are close in age, yet the girl is under 16 by say 2 years and he isn't too much older, the CPS in the UK won't look to prosecute.

This is a GROWN fucking man and a child, which is completely different.

Why is there confusion or sitting on fences?

This is a sexual predator. He raped a child. He abducted a child.

lougle · 20/06/2013 22:26

If he was really in love, he would have stayed well away until she was no longer his pupil, she was over 18 and she was mature enough to make an informed and rational decision.

FeegleFion · 20/06/2013 22:26

Let me tell you. If my 14 year old daughter was involved in a forbidden fucking love scenario with any grown man, never mind a fucking teacher, I'd break his fucking neck!

goodasgold · 20/06/2013 22:27

I think that Juliet was 13 when she died. And I believe it's fiction from about four hundred years ago.

I can't see any romance or meant to be in this case. To me it appears that a teacher has abused his position of power to convince a child that it's her fault that he abused her.

flippinada · 20/06/2013 22:27

"Forbidden love story"

Jesus wept.

AnyFucker · 20/06/2013 22:27

To me, it's just a forbidden love story.

I dread to think what happened to you, to make that your mindset.

mirry2 · 20/06/2013 22:29

I haven't read the whole thread so perhaps it has already been discussed, but why wasn't he done for rape or even assault? Will he be on the paedophile register?

scottishmummy · 20/06/2013 22:33

oh good grief,belt up with forbidden love.hes predatory inappropriate adult

Alisvolatpropiis · 20/06/2013 22:35

mirry2 I think he will be. Certainly won't be allowed to teach again. The teacher from my school I mentioned up thread was banned from teaching for life and put on the sex offenders register.

It wouldn't have been rape even the in UK because she was over 13,it would have been sex with a minor (legally speaking) but as they went to France where the age of consent is 15 he managed to bypass that.

I don't understand how anyone can not think he was predatory. Get real people! Grown men do not fall in love with children. It isn't the age gap per se,it is their respective ages now. She is a child and he is an adult. It was abuse.

SacreBlue · 20/06/2013 22:37

I was quite shocked at them both mouthing the words I love you to each other. I think they should both have been held in contempt of court. A crime has been committed here and neither of them seems to be taking it very seriously.

The child and a vulnerable one at that - who has been groomed by an older person in a position of authority should not be held in contempt of court or contempt of any kind.

An adult who has abused his position of trust, violated his teacher training, violated his professional code, violated this young and vulnerable girl should totally be held in contempt - if not in court than in public opinion.

I have a DS of a similar age to the girl when the sickening grooming by this teacher began. I would not be 'ooohing' and 'aaahing' at the romance of it all - there is NO romance there is NO affair there is only a sad, pathetic and predatory older person in authority taking advantage of a vulnerable person in their care.

Innacorner · 20/06/2013 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FeelingHorse · 20/06/2013 22:39

I cannot believe that people are confused by this...

I am a 26yo secondary school teacher. I am entrusted with your teenagers every day.

It is my job to teach them, guide them, discipline them, support them and to be a good role model to them. That is my legal duty.

It is not ok, in any circumstances, to have sexual feelings for a pupil. We are meant to be shaping them into good citizens, what he has done is scar her. How can any good come out of this?

I mean, how would they both feel if this happens to their 15yo daughter in years to come.

I think that is what a lot of you are missing. What is this happened to your daughter? This man probably sat across from her parents on many parents evenings, and they had no idea that one day he would have had sex with her and then gone with her to France. That is just sickening IMO.

OhDearNigel · 20/06/2013 22:43

To those of you enquiring why he wasnt charged with sexual offences, there are legal reasons for this. I cannot go into any more detail than that

WidowWadman · 20/06/2013 22:44

"The language being used should be saved for sexual predators of the worst kind."

It is.