to not want to lend anymore money?

[muddyprints]

family members recently borrowed £200 off us and are paying back £20 per week, they have paid each week and will be paid up in 3 weeks.

They are now talking about booking a holiday, but I know they cant have money and im convinced they will ask us to borrow more money as soon as the current debt is paid up.

I don't want to lend anymore, but dp feels its his duty to help out and says at least they are paying it back.

We have 2 small kids, live on one wage, have a mortgage and bills to pay, we need some jobs doing on the house, they have borrowed that money, I want to use the money when returned to sort the house, not reloan it, we aren't a bank.

pre kids when we both worked, they borrowed off us all the time, £10 most weeks never returned, sometimes hundreds and half paid back. but we cant afford it anymore.

I would just say 'no I cant afford it'
once you start giving details you invite the other person to construct some argument that their need is greater than yours and then you're on the back foot having to constantly defend your postion

Well done, just keep on saying No. MIL is unbelievably thick skinned and entitled .

Fantastic result. Good on your dh for singing from the same hymn sheet. Just keep repeating no every time and eventually it may sink in! Good luck.

Aren't they embarrassed?! Can't believe the gall of these people - they've obviously got used to using you as a bank!

Anyway, well done on not giving in to them and enjoy your holiday!

thanks
they basically go from one family/friend to the next borrowing.
she is very entitled.
dp has always helped them, they never helped him even when he was a kid.
every year they have been on holiday they run out of money after 5 days and come home. they cant even budget for a week??
just hope dp doesn't cave in.

How on earth have they got to that age and not learned how to handle money? It's ridiculous.

muddyprints Only ever lend money that you are prepared to kiss goodbye to and can afford to do without. Any money lent to a friend in need has to be to help dig them out of a hole, and definitely that won't come between you and them because you say to yourself (not them) that it won't be repaid. Anything else, you risk feeling resentful, and whilst it is nice to help people, the worst thing to fall out over is money.

Far better to do the big fat definite NO - with no wriggle-room, then they know exactly where they stand - "Sorry we really can't help, we just don't have the extra money" is better than some limp excuse where they ask a second time and you have to cave in.

Rocky road to ruin, but that's only IMHO.

Coming home when you've run out of money is the sort of thing a drunken university student ought to be doing, and that only ruins one night, not a holiday! I am really shocked at this!

they just don't forward plan, if they have money left after food and weekly bills they spend it, it burns a hole in their pocket, then they realise that the water bill is due and have nothing towards it.
dp feels sorry for them that they cant pay the water bill but I think they shouldn't have treated themselves to plants/tops/meal out the week before.
they eat out and get takeaways regularly.
they buy a coffee while at the garden centre.
they live like they have money

Even people who have money usually see the need to save some for a rainy day.
I'd say they live as if money has a sell by date, or somehow expires at the end of each day and so needs to be used up