AIBU to act like a petulant child & refuse to go to my own birthday party?

[SBAustralia]

OK, so back story here...
It was my birthday & hubby asked what I wanted to do. We hadn't done anything with extended family for ages so I suggested a family dinner at this new French Bistro style restaurant that has been getting amazing reviews (from both professionals & regular diners). He agreed. I wrote out a guest list & he booked a big table & sent out invitations. About a week before the dinner he told me that his very high maintenance, very whiney sister is complaining that there's only one place she will eat at in town (the same place we go every single time there is a family function because she chucks a tantrum if we don't) & if we don't go there she won't come to the party & as she was the one who will be bringing Nanna & Poppy they won't be able to come either. DH, bless him, instead of telling her to grow up & stop being a bitch, told her he would "sort it out" with me. I told him "fuck her, I'll get my parents to bring his Nanna & Poppy" & thought that was the end of it. Not so. The day before the dinner I called the restaurant to ask if I my friend can bring a pram in (some places won't allow it due to NSW fire safety regulations) only to be told that the booking was cancelled during the week. I was furious!

So instead of getting mad & yelling I pretended I had no idea of any change. I did however make a reservation for ONE at the original restaurant. On the night of the dinner I dropped hubby at the old standard, told him I loved him & I'll see him later but I'm having dinner where I want to have dinner on my birthday!

Now, according to his family, I am juvenile & selfish. They want an apology. So I'm wondering, do I apologise for being so passive agressive (not normally my style) & explain that I was angry that MY birthday plans had been hijacked by their daughter & her own childish & selfish demands or do I tell them to fuck off?

[froubylou]

Hmm, whilst I agree that you should not be forced into doing something you didn't want to do on your birthday personally I would have uninvited SIL and gone where I wanted to go.

And if I couldn't get my original choice I would have rebooked it for a different date and let everyone know and asked them to confirm. Minus SIL. And DH if he had cancelled the original booking or given the go ahead for it to happen.

To go alone and not see family and friends on my birthday is a bit childish IMO. When people have made an effort and attended on your birthday to not go is bloody rude.

I would apologise to everyone except SIL.

[BarbarianMum]

I think I'd be very quite pissed off if I went out for a meal to celebrate a friend's birthday and my friend didn't turn up!

I can see why you took a stand but not very fair on your mates.

[BackforGood]

I think YWBU, and cutting off your nose to spite your face. I'd have arranged to go out with the people I wanted to share my birthday with - another day if need be - , not sat in a restaurant on my own like a sad muppet, whilst everyone else had company to enjoy their own meal

[Panzee]

I thnk it's great. You wanted a party at the bistro, you got one. Such a shame the other guests couldn't make it. Love your mum. :o

[FancyPuffin]

Going on your own to a restaurant doesn't make you a sad muppet Back I love my own company

OP you are my hero

[MatersMate]

Yeah, think it's a bit unfair on the people that weren't twats, and just came out/spent money to celebrate your birthday with you.

Who cancelled the bloody reservation??

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

I don't think YANBU, and obviously your SIL needs to grow the fuck up, but I do think it's a pity that you didn't get to see at least your friends (and your DH, if you'd wanted to after he'd been so spineless).

What do they think of spending your birthday evening with your family and each other, but not you?

[whois]

Oh god your DH is such a pathetic toad!

Quite like that you had dinner in the original restaurant, although would have been way more funny to have reinstated the booking for everyone, minus SIL and DH, and still had dinner with your friends and family while pathetic DH dines alone with crazy SIL.

People like SIL only get away with being nightmares because weak people pander to them.

[MaxPepsi]

How do her friends feel?

I suspect that it was family only at the meal and that the friend with the push chair was a last minute inclusion, otherwise OP would have asked the restaurant beforehand about the pram not the day before.

As SIL has form for this OP's friends will already know how precious she is and would be highly delighted that she took a stand, I know I would be.

Her in laws didn't even notice for 20mins she wasn't even there ffs. Just goes to show they weren't interested in celebrating her birthday anyway so def don't warrant an apology.

She apologised to her mum and she's fine. No one else to worry about.

[AitchTwoOhOneTwo]

were there friends there? i must say i'd be most fucked off if i went to a pal's birthday celebration and spent money on a meal/present etc and was stuck with her in-laws for the evening.

do get the point you were making, but it's failed if the in-laws think you owe THEM an apology.

anyway, once again, who cancelled the booking and didn't tell you?

[dreamingbohemian]

Yes, I'm curious what the friend with the pram-aged baby made of all this. What fun for her!

[redwellybluewelly]

You are a legend - poise and grace and fucking good on you!

As for his whining bitch of a sister, then your DH needs to grow a pair.

[pigletmania]

You go girl, that's fantastic . Bloody hell it's your birthday you should gow where you want. Cancelling the booking that is beyond unreasonable. As for your wet lettuce h, why the hell did he not dine with you . My jaw is on the floor at his families rude and disgusting behaviour, and at your h for supporting it!

[pigletmania]

Oh I see, your friends turned up at te other venue. Than I would have contacted friends to let them know that te meal is still at the fancy restaurant before the event, leaving nasty in laws to themselves

[Panzee]

I would not be pissed off if you were my friend. I'd think it was funny. Because you are my friend and I would know about your troubles with SIL, and understand why you did it. I would sit with your parents and drink to you. :o

[AitchTwoOhOneTwo]

meh, maybe you've got time and money to waste, Panzee. I would have been really fucked off not to be given the option of not attending.

[MommyBird]

This has made my day, you absolute hero!
Its your birthday, not your SIL, do what you want to do! :)

[Panzee]

You make it sound like a chore. It was a night out, other friends were there, only one couldn't make it and the parents (and presumably friends ) understood why.

[MrsBungle]

I don't think ywbu at all. I wouldn't have gone on my own, though. I would have re-booked for my friends and family and dh would not have been invited. I'd be bloody enraged if my dh did that.

[AitchTwoOhOneTwo]

spending time with other people's thoroughly obnoxious in-laws would hardly be top of a normal person's list of things to do. i have enough to do with avoiding my own.

[AitchTwoOhOneTwo]

lol at 'me party', i love that song. and she has the best legs...