AIBU to act like a petulant child & refuse to go to my own birthday party?

[SBAustralia]

OK, so back story here...
It was my birthday & hubby asked what I wanted to do. We hadn't done anything with extended family for ages so I suggested a family dinner at this new French Bistro style restaurant that has been getting amazing reviews (from both professionals & regular diners). He agreed. I wrote out a guest list & he booked a big table & sent out invitations. About a week before the dinner he told me that his very high maintenance, very whiney sister is complaining that there's only one place she will eat at in town (the same place we go every single time there is a family function because she chucks a tantrum if we don't) & if we don't go there she won't come to the party & as she was the one who will be bringing Nanna & Poppy they won't be able to come either. DH, bless him, instead of telling her to grow up & stop being a bitch, told her he would "sort it out" with me. I told him "fuck her, I'll get my parents to bring his Nanna & Poppy" & thought that was the end of it. Not so. The day before the dinner I called the restaurant to ask if I my friend can bring a pram in (some places won't allow it due to NSW fire safety regulations) only to be told that the booking was cancelled during the week. I was furious!

So instead of getting mad & yelling I pretended I had no idea of any change. I did however make a reservation for ONE at the original restaurant. On the night of the dinner I dropped hubby at the old standard, told him I loved him & I'll see him later but I'm having dinner where I want to have dinner on my birthday!

Now, according to his family, I am juvenile & selfish. They want an apology. So I'm wondering, do I apologise for being so passive agressive (not normally my style) & explain that I was angry that MY birthday plans had been hijacked by their daughter & her own childish & selfish demands or do I tell them to fuck off?

[Blatherskite]

^Unreasonable? No.
Feckin legend? Absolutely.^

Another one who thinks legend. Love it.

[EuphemiaLennox]

Yes, many holes in this story.

Who cancelled the table?
When did DH reveal you're weren't going to the planned restaurant?
Who would really sit on thier own and have. A birthday cake in a restaurant?
How did the DH react to this plan?
Why did he continue into the restaurant without you? Why didn't he insist on coming with you?

Is this a plot line in a soap opera? It doesn't seem to reflect normal reactions of people.

[trixymalixy]

Interesting way to deal with this. I would have gone utterly ballistic at DH and cancelled the whole thing.

[NotSoNervous]

YANBU

I'm another who thinks legend fair play to you for doing what you want!

Your DH needs to grow a pair and say and up to his brat of a sister

[LineRunner]

This is an urban myth thing, right?

[OneLaundryBaskettoRuleThemAll]

What did your family say ?

[cardibach]

You aren't answering some crucial questions, OP.
Who cancelled?
At what point were you told?
How did your friends and family know where to go if the change was secret?
Without answers to these questions I can't judge whether YABU, or indeed if I completely believe the story.

[foreverondiet]

The person most at fault here is your DH - because he didn't manage your expectations - or his controlling sister - what a wimp - so actually if anyone apologises it should be him.

However, I think that when you discovered of the cancellation you should have told everyone that you didn't accept the new plans - maybe asked everyone if they would rather come to original restaurant with you or go to the other one with your sister. So for that you were a U.

But on balance, you should apologise in a half hearted way - dear family, I am sorry that I didn't come to my birthday dinner, but I wanted to have dinner at restaurant A and I had made a reservation that my DH cancelled to accommodate his sister without telling me. Sorry for messing you around.

[LeoTheLateBloomer]

The OP hasn't answered because she's in Australia.

[phantomnamechanger]

YABU OP, you should have rebooked the place you wanted for the guests muinus SIL, and driven her to the other place and left her to it, with a big smile and "enjoy your meal", so sorry you couldn't come with us but I'm really touched that you still wanted to eat out in celebration of my birthday".

SIL is a spolit brat and needs telling! DH is a weed who needs to put his wife first not his family!

[BatwingsAndButterflies]

Amazing.

[StealthPolarBear]

Erm no advive but I desperately want to know how this turns out

[YouTheCat]

But she couldn't rebook the original place because they couldn't manage the numbers at short notice.

[IwishIwasmoreorganised]

I like your style

[NicknameIncomplete]

Haha i love this.

Well done OP for making a stand.

[Salmotrutta]

I do believe Liney may be correct.

I am unwilling to believe people would act like this in real life.

[DearPrudence]

Legend my arse.