AIBU to act like a petulant child & refuse to go to my own birthday party?

[SBAustralia]

OK, so back story here...
It was my birthday & hubby asked what I wanted to do. We hadn't done anything with extended family for ages so I suggested a family dinner at this new French Bistro style restaurant that has been getting amazing reviews (from both professionals & regular diners). He agreed. I wrote out a guest list & he booked a big table & sent out invitations. About a week before the dinner he told me that his very high maintenance, very whiney sister is complaining that there's only one place she will eat at in town (the same place we go every single time there is a family function because she chucks a tantrum if we don't) & if we don't go there she won't come to the party & as she was the one who will be bringing Nanna & Poppy they won't be able to come either. DH, bless him, instead of telling her to grow up & stop being a bitch, told her he would "sort it out" with me. I told him "fuck her, I'll get my parents to bring his Nanna & Poppy" & thought that was the end of it. Not so. The day before the dinner I called the restaurant to ask if I my friend can bring a pram in (some places won't allow it due to NSW fire safety regulations) only to be told that the booking was cancelled during the week. I was furious!

So instead of getting mad & yelling I pretended I had no idea of any change. I did however make a reservation for ONE at the original restaurant. On the night of the dinner I dropped hubby at the old standard, told him I loved him & I'll see him later but I'm having dinner where I want to have dinner on my birthday!

Now, according to his family, I am juvenile & selfish. They want an apology. So I'm wondering, do I apologise for being so passive agressive (not normally my style) & explain that I was angry that MY birthday plans had been hijacked by their daughter & her own childish & selfish demands or do I tell them to fuck off?

[cardamomginger]

Genius, Sheer genius.

[cees]

Oh well done you, fantastic approach to shitty sil and rather pathetic hubby who changed your plans like that.

Now follow through with giving them NO apology, instead you should tell them you expect one from sil and dh for acting so horrible and changing your plans.

Tell me did your family end up going to the regular restaurant too?

[YouTheCat]

Eh?

It had already been calmy discussed and then the plans were changed (probably by OP's husband) with no discussion.

Had she not called the original restaurant OP would have had no idea and then would have been put in a very shitty situation and been expected to just suck it up at a restaurant she didn't want to go to. Why the hell should she have to accommodate her sil?

[plainjaney]

I can only wish I had the guts to do what you did OP. If the inlaws want an apology they need to seek out their brat of a daughter for it.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

You are an absolute star.

Good for you and your DH deserves a kick up the arse.

[OneMoreChap]

Awesome.
Kudos for that.

[YoniMitchell]

Bloody brilliant OP - Love it!

YADNBU - they owe you an apology, your SIL needs to grow up and your DH needs to grow a pair.

Hope you had a lovely dinner.

[fryingpantoface]

Brilliant, well done you

[MondayMorningGreens]

OP, I think I love you.

[Cuddlydragon]

Awesome, I am in awe of your brilliance.

[EasterHoliday]

god you're brilliant. I really admire you.
I have an SIL like that. Thankfully she lives across a wide ocean, however her annual visitation is on the horizon and she's invited 10 people for a BBQ AT MY HOUSE on a date to suit her royal progress around the country. DH is such a sap he's just spending his time looking up teak garden furniture so we have somewhere for them all to sit.
wouldn't mind so much if I'd heard a single word from her since the last time she came to stay / dictated food policy / required lifts all over the place - not even a phone call at Christmas, much less a birthday card for my children. My kids couldn't even recognise their cousins in a photo any more :-(

[fuzzpig]

You rock :o

[LeoTheLateBloomer]

Priceless OP! I've never have had the nerve and wish I were more like you.

How has your DH explained his behaviour? He's a bloody disgrace.

[YouTheCat]

EasterHoliday, go out and leave your dh to it.

[cees]

What was his face like when you drove off, I hope you took a mental picture

[MummyPigsFatTummy]

Your DH is unbelievable though - it was YOUR birthday, he asked you where you wanted to go, it was all arranged, then his sister moaned, you told him what you thought should happen and he then ignored that and changed the restaurant without telling you? Really? He is an utter arse and no wonder his sister behaves in such a selfish and entitled way if that is how he, and presumably the rest of his family, kowtow to her every whim.

[MrsOakenshield]

awesome. Just awesome. Your DH and his sister sound like a right pair and I would be furious with them both, and I would make it clear to all and sundry how pathetic the pair of them are.

[SomeDizzyWhore1804]

Love this! You are my idol.

[MortifiedAdams]

Genius OP. Actions speak louder than words and maybe its time SIL got a short sharp.shock.

[BrianTheMole]

Who cancelled it op?

[DearPrudence]

This story doesn't make sense. If you pretended you had no idea of the cancellation how did you end up driving to the 'standard' restaurant on the night? At what point did your husband tell you he had changed the booking?

And as very few other people have said, YABU to fuck your own parents/family about.

Would have been much better to re-book the table at the French place for everyone except DH's family and not tell them.

Your husband is a prick, and YANBU at all for being upset with him or for wanting to choose the restaurant.

[CrapBag]

Fantastic!!!!!

Don't you dare apologise to them.

Your DH owes you a fucking big present for being a spineless twat as well. Cannot believe he put the needs of his whining sister above what his wife wanted to do for her birthday.

Thank goodness you had phoned them and found out beforehand.