Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask anyone with a 13 year old boy (or similar age) to tell me what they are like?

124 replies

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 12/06/2013 08:23

DS is starting to really wind me up lately, answering me back when he didn't used to, lots of tutting and looking up at the sky, really winding up his sister which used to be now and again now seems all the time.

Just stormed off to school declaring he hates everyone no-one understands him, all because he told his sister he hated her and she got upset and I said he doesn't really mean it sweetheart, apparently I took her side !!! nothing happened before other than she was in his way when he was walking through.

I am sure this is just age related but to make me feel better and not alone would appreciate hearing other's stories.

Thanks :)

OP posts:
Nokidshere · 12/06/2013 11:37

Been lucky with DS (15). Very laid back and all his backchat is really funny so hasn't caused problems. Bedroom is a tip, thinks ironing clothes is pointless & seems to think Call of Duty counts as revision but generally the teen years are going OK

^^Thats my 15 year old too Grin

My almost 12 year old on the other hand is an emotional wreck! He has moods of high or low often 2-3 times within the same hour fgs! Everything is not fair and he moans a lot. But he still wants me to tuck him in at night, give a hug before he leaves for school and sends me sweet texts when he is out and about - so there is hope yet!

Sallystyle · 12/06/2013 11:38

thinks HE knows it all.

TheSmallClanger · 12/06/2013 11:38

Boys can go through a really horrible phase between 16-19 as well, although I think it depends on how early/late they started puberty. I used to teach that age group and they were sometimes evil incarnate, and living proof that utter bitchy vileness is not a teenage girl thing.

It does pass, though. They mellow out again quite quickly.

DD is 15 and I think she has mellowed slightly over the past year or so. She talks a bit more, and in a wider range of situations, instead of answering "nothing!" in a haughty tone.

SamuelWestsMistress · 12/06/2013 11:39

My eldest is 7 and already as you have described OP!

DiaryOfAWimpyMum · 12/06/2013 11:39

Sorry burberry, same situation with my DC, SS actually asked if I had help and said yes...then I told the school about his behaviour at home and they were shocked and offered help right away. Can you try the school?

Sorry for hijacking OP.

All these sounds very familiar, latest one is DS and his friends delight and finding out you get free condoms from school, not having sex just blowing them up and throwing them out the window and other fun stuff!

jammiedonut · 12/06/2013 11:40

Moody, disrespectful, smelly and downright unpleasant at 13 (db not ds). On the bright side at 17 he's matured incredibly and is a completely different (and much lovelier) person. Must be a combination of growing pains, hormones, adjusting to peer pressure, lack of real direction (yr8 is famously a bad year at secondary schools-no big exam landmarks to work towards, no real place in social hierarchy as they're not quite big enough to have made an impression). Just offer support as best you can, he'll come to you when he's ready, but rest assured most teenage boys act out like this at some point.

Sparklingbrook · 12/06/2013 11:41

Print this off and stick it on the fridge.

burberryqueen · 12/06/2013 11:43

there is no school anymore, after being searched by the police at the behest of another pupil, and internaly excluded ditto, he refused to go.
there was another story involving an image of him being distributed, but i cannot go into taht now.
besides they never offered us any help, no counselling, no nothing, he was just an annoying english kid messing up their loveley welsh school.

ExitPursuedByABear · 12/06/2013 11:46

So sorry to read that Burberry.

Creeping · 12/06/2013 11:56

When DS1 turned 13 I showed him the Harry Enfield clip where Kevin turns 13. We had a good laugh including DS1, because he couldn't believe that he would be like that (except for DS3 (7) who thought it was awful how Kevin turned out and cried in anticipation of his DB becoming a Kevin). Now I call him Kevin when he behaves like one, and it usually helps him to get some control. Mind you, he's still only 13, so it could still all change at 14 or 15...

pixwix · 12/06/2013 11:57

Ach Grrr - I feel your pain! Ds1 was very similar at 13, and I had to pull apart him and his younger brother a few times - he lived on planet 'meh' Smile. One minute he is screaming he is an adult, next minute, he is snuggled up... One day he sounds like Jeremy paxman with a grudge - next day he is loving...

It was hard work, and I had to shape-shift a few times to deal with it. Actually, it was a bit of a shock tbh - I had to rethink my parenting a bit - as parents we often think on our feet, but I had to spend some time thinking what is important, what messages am I sending him, where is he at, and about boundaries and values etc.

I know that makes me sound tossy..... sorry!

He's now 15 and a half, and much better - pretty lovely actually - picks his younger brother up from school when I am working till 4pm.

If his younger brother is having a hissy fit about his homework, and we are at loggerheads about it, he will lazily lie down on the sofa, and explain things to him - "Hey cool!! - we did it that way when I was in juniors, - why don't you try looking it like x,y, or z...."

Lo and behold it suddenly all makes sense to ds2.. Hmm and crisis is over - bloody hell!

He showers every day now, organises himself, can paint a wall and make meals etc...

He is doing some GCSE's a year early, and he comes home after the finish of biology - I get home from work "Hey! Ds1! how did the bio exam go?"

Ds1 (strumming his guitar) "yeah - Ok - thanks for asking.."

Me "But how did it go? was it hard, did you finish in time? did the questions come up that you were expecting? Confused

Ds1 - "yeah - whats for tea? - can 'J' come for a sleepover at the weekend?"

Hmm

courage mes braves

Kaluki · 12/06/2013 11:58

Oh I love this thread - makes me feel sooo much better about my DS (13)
When I go in and wake him in the morning I get a huge tight hug... then the hormones kick in and he is awful till he leaves for school in a cloud of Lynx having upset DS2 and been rude and objectionable.

He is huge, spotty and hairy and nothing like the cute chubby little boy that used to adore me and his db.
But on the plus side, he can be very loving and has a wicked sense of humour and is very moral and hardworking with lots of friends.
I am holding on to DS2 (10) and getting in as many cuddles as I can now because I know in a few years he will be the same.

GraduateofPoorComp · 12/06/2013 12:00

"Jeremy Paxman with a grudge" pixwix thanks for that!Grin

burberryqueen · 12/06/2013 12:00

great, kaluki, thanks, happy to have brightened your day, nothing like a bit of schadenfreude on a Wednesday morning.

Abra1d · 12/06/2013 12:02

I suspect kaluki had not yet read your post when she made her last comment, burberry.

squeakytoy · 12/06/2013 12:02

to give you all some hope.. my stepson was an utter nightmare in his teens, and absolute hell to live with.. he is now 28, with his own business (through sheer determination because he was kicked out of school at 14), his own house, two cars, and employs quite a few people..

he is still a gobby arrogant git at times, but he is nothing like the horrible teenager he was, who everyone expected to end up dead or in prison..

lollylaughs · 12/06/2013 12:02

Things I have learned since becoming mother to a boy teen (now 14):

There is no way I could possibly know something that he doesn't already.

It is ridiculous of me to expect him to wash his face with face wash without reminding him even though it is in the shower cubicle.

Wet towels live on the floor along with any clothing that has been worn.

There is nothing EVER decent to eat in the house.

We don't wear any type of trainers that has a ever so slightly build up on the sole. Also, I should know that Saturdays cannot be spent going shopping.

If I am sent an text message and I don't respond immediately, I have broken the rule of replying in time.

Never, but never ever consider buying underpants whilst said teen is with you. You may not discuss underwear at any time if you are in any danger of being overheard.

You will never have enough sugar in the house.

The ironing may not pile up in the basket as it has to miraculously go from the dirty washing basket to back in the cupboard within the same day. If this doesn't happen, there is nothing to wear.

Deodorant needs to be sprayed all over the body, underneath clothing and on top.

Grin
Sparklingbrook · 12/06/2013 12:04

All texts i send to DS1 just get a reply of 'K'. Hmm

Kaluki · 12/06/2013 12:05

Oh Burberry - I didn't mean to sound smug. Your situation sounds awful and I feel for you. I have a friend who's 16 year old son has run away from home and is in all kinds of trouble so I do empathise.
I just meant that it is nice to know that it isn't just my son who is stroppy and hormonal and smelly

cjdamoo · 12/06/2013 12:06

Mine is 14 apart from the fact his bedroom is a hovel he wont do homework yelling at his younger brother and the occasional bout of back chat and mood swings hes ok ;) Actually one on one hes cool I just wish he and his friends didnt like hanging out at ours so much. Must be another parents turn surely?

bigbuttons · 12/06/2013 12:06

Yes completely normal I'm afraid! My eldest 2 ds's are 13 and 14.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum · 12/06/2013 12:07

burberry get yourself onto Maryz thread for teenagers

ExitPursuedByABear · 12/06/2013 12:13

I see your K sparkling and raise you. I get kk Confused

chocoluvva · 12/06/2013 12:14

DS - newly 14 - is often grumpy, mumbles, complains about the unjust way he is treated at school and by adults in general, embarrassed by almost everything, has selective deafness, is extremely untidy and disorganised. He has recently taking to making sarcastic replies to perfectly reasonable, innocent questions. DH and I tell him off when he does. He doesn't talk about school or what he's been up to unless questioned.

He doesn't slam doors, shout or swear (in the house anyway). He's obsessed with his hair. He still likes to kick a ball about and go on his skateboard but he'll happily spend several hours a day on his x-box given half a chance. He showers at least once a day and applies a load of sickly deodorant, but he doesn't always bother doing his teeth at bedtime.

burberryqueen · 12/06/2013 12:14

thanks wimpy i will as soon as i get him up from the bare mattress where he is sleeping in his clothes; the curtains and lightshade have been pulled down, the sheets pulled off the bed, the books of the bookshelf - he is lying there surrounded by fag butts and dirty cups.
actually telling you about it has made me anticipate some replies so maybe i will make him some tea and help tidy his room without going mad at him. bye for now xx
don't worry kaluki, i am probably just jealous Grin