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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask anyone with a 13 year old boy (or similar age) to tell me what they are like?

124 replies

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 12/06/2013 08:23

DS is starting to really wind me up lately, answering me back when he didn't used to, lots of tutting and looking up at the sky, really winding up his sister which used to be now and again now seems all the time.

Just stormed off to school declaring he hates everyone no-one understands him, all because he told his sister he hated her and she got upset and I said he doesn't really mean it sweetheart, apparently I took her side !!! nothing happened before other than she was in his way when he was walking through.

I am sure this is just age related but to make me feel better and not alone would appreciate hearing other's stories.

Thanks :)

OP posts:
Original poster
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 12/06/2013 08:24

He is usually a happy boy, he is happy at school and has good friends.

OP posts:
Juniperdewdropofbrandy · 12/06/2013 08:28

Yes that's normal sadly. Where do those lovely boys go to? Wink

Don't worry it will should pass. Hormones have a lot to answer for!

I have a 15 and almost 13 year old dss. DS1 can be awful to ds2 but he gives as much back now.

Joy of joys eh?

Abra1d · 12/06/2013 08:29

My son is now 16 and my impression is that 13 to 15 are the peak boy stroppy years, with outbursts and bad temper. He is much calmer and easier now, even with GCSEs!

Feelslikea1sttimer · 12/06/2013 08:33

I have 13 & almost 15 year old boys and they have their moments but thankfully they don't tend to be at the same times... I think they see the other behaving like an arse and it actually makes thm think about how they look when they have a strop!!

I have been lucky so far that nobody hates me yet... But there is still time!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 12/06/2013 08:35

Yup. That's normal.

I have had letters from my eldest, detailing all the ways in which I am a failure as a parent and indeed as a human being.

I am routinely spoken to like shit. That's when I am not being humphed at and ignored.

When my kids were little and my sister's daughter was being like this, I used to judge. No, not judge - Judge. It needs a capital! Grin No child of MINE would ever talk to me like that. She needs to sort her out. etc etc

Anyway, you can probably see the grin on my sister's face from where you are right now.

laughinggravy · 12/06/2013 08:54

DDs - 13 & 12 are just the same. Bickering, strops, backchat and a lot of the other stuff mentioned above.

Very often feels like a complete parent fail.

Thankfully, there are moments of light or I would be completely round the twist.

BastardDog · 12/06/2013 08:56

My 13yo ds is mostly to be found in his bedroom. I don't know how he bears to be in there, it smells.

He's on his Xbox, watching the music channel or trying to find ways around my Internet security so he can watch porn on his phone.

He won't go to any clubs or extra curricular activities. He only has 3 friends that he likes to spend time with and they are quite active boys and often off at tennis tournaments and the like all weekend, meaning ds confines himself even more to his room.

He has a huge appetite, unless I tell him to get himself something to eat, in which case he can't be bothered..

His voice is so loud, he doesn't seem to have a volume control.

He's still allergic to water and has to be nagged to wash/shower/clean teeth and then moans that he's so spotty. He somehow manages to look grubby all the time. Ditto his clothes.

Homework only gets done if I insist and supervise. Ditto chores.

On the plus side he's only said he hates me once so far, he doesn't swear in the house, he controls his temper (except with his sister), he goes to school without a fuss and tries hard while he's there, he can be quite a gentleman and offer to help with shopping, carrying bags etc.

tabulahrasa · 12/06/2013 09:10

My DD is 13...some days she's the lovely sunny happy girl she always has been, some days you answer a question or say something to her and I swear her head spins right round and you can see the depths of hell in her eyes before she verbally attacks you...

Apparently - it's not fair, everyone hates her, no-one else's mum makes them tell them where they're going/tells them to be back by a certain time, I always tell her off never her brother and she should have more money.

None of those are usually relevant to any conversation we've just had and seem to be repeated on some sort of pre-recorded loop before she bursts into tears and storms off slamming doors behind her, though she denies that if you tell her off for it...I suspect telekinesis.

She's also omniscient, even if you could swear blind she just did or said something or you remember perfectly what you've just said, you're wrong and she knows better.

The only conclusion I can come to is that she's been possessed by some sort of demonic power, though my mum just laughs, I can't think why Grin

Xenia · 12/06/2013 09:14

My younger ones have not been like that (14 now). My older daughters used to have their moments and sometimes one of them could be pretty objectionable. It is a stage which will pass. You just need to remember many teenage boys kill themselves and that is it much much harder for them to go through these changes than for a parent who is adult to endure the burden of it.

MrsDoomsPatterson · 12/06/2013 09:23

My 13yr old Ds is sometimes a bit stroppy but I understand it's mainly the hormones talking. I get lots of hugs, he's old beyond his years, I think i am lucky. We do have our moments and I wish he would be more enthusiastic sometimes (outside sport) but I think he's doing fine.

maidenmane · 12/06/2013 09:25

DS is 14, he has Aspergers so probably a bit delayed in his development and not like 'normal' dc in lots of other ways too! But it seems to have meant that he's avoided/delayed this stroppy phase, doesn't ignore me or speak inappropriately. No siblings so no conflicts there thankfully. He's still very dependent on me though, won't travel alone and needs a lot of prompting and guidance.

tabulahrasa · 12/06/2013 09:27

My 17 yr old DS has AS - we sailed through the teen years, yes we had a couple of arguments about things, but nothing like DD.

Maybe she really is possessed? lol

Sparklingbrook · 12/06/2013 09:29

13 year old DS1.

Moans
Eats
Games
Answers back
Declares everything unfair
Bickers with DS2
Avoids showering/doing homework unless nagged
Shouts about being nagged

choirmum · 12/06/2013 09:30

My DS is just 14 and is clearly struggling with his emotions at times, which I'm sure is down to hormones. However, he is still basically a thoroughly decent young man who does as he's told (sometimes after a strop!) and thankfully has no reluctance to wash yet! My 11 year old DD on the other hand has had symptoms of PMT since she was 4 (or so it seems!)

lljkk · 12/06/2013 09:34

Grumpy is the word. I was a misery guts at that age & my parents commented separately that 13-14 were the worst ages by far.

eminemmerdale · 12/06/2013 09:37

My ds (middle child) is 13, and he was the most gorgeous, kind, thoughtful and lovely little boy ever. He actually still is mostly, but we can see he's struggling. He cries a lot, worries a lot, and does sometimes get really angry, but on the whole, he's not changing massively yet. I'm sure he will :( The wierdest thing is suddenly realising he is my height with size 9 feet !

Sparklingbrook · 12/06/2013 09:38

Oh and do not ask about anything. Especially how exams went/people at school/girls.

EllieArroway · 12/06/2013 09:46

My DS is now 16 - and is a completely different person from the one he was 2/3 years ago.

Back then - and it shames me deeply to admit this now - I actually felt serious dislike for him at times. Life with him was unbearable - he sneered at me from the moment he got up in the morning, refused to do a single thing I asked of him, left for school when he felt like it, told me he hated me and wished I would "do him a favour and die", vandalised his bedroom and so on. It was an awful, awful time.

But, one day, it all just stopped - and suddenly I had my lovely, funny, calm and sensible son back. I think he just grew up.

Teenagers can be hell - mine certainly was - but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just be consistent, refuse to take any shit (just because it's "normal" doesn't make it right!) and the person you know and love will come back. Guaranteed :)

AudrinaAdare · 12/06/2013 09:50

Wasn't it your DS Sparkling who stated that all he wanted for Christmas was a little respect? Did he get his wish? Grin

Morloth · 12/06/2013 09:56

Puts fingers in ears and shorts LALALALALALAAAAAAH.

My sweetheart 9 year old just thanked me profusely for making cupcakes for his class tomorrow for his birthday.

Don't tell me this will change, no no no no no.

DH is nice to his mum (blocks out memories of older brothers...).

eminemmerdale · 12/06/2013 09:57

Our lad has started asking to have a bath every day now - I started off by teasing him about it, but now I just say 'sure'. They are soo incredibaly sensitive. He spends ages on his hair every day, gelling it down and refuses to put a jumper on after it's done as he would 'ruin my hair mummm'. It's sweet but sad.

Triumphoveradversity · 12/06/2013 10:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuanticoVirginia · 12/06/2013 10:04

OP. I think your's and my son were separated at birth! He's just turned 13 but this has been going on for the part 8/9 months.

His mood can change like the wind. Happy,happy one minute and then weepy,sullen, monsyllabic and sarcastic the next for no apparent reason.

He's horrible to his brother who's 4 years younger so much so that his brother now comes and sits with me in the living room when they both used to happily sit on the same settee together and chat.

He wants me to drop him off at school at 7.30am although we have not established why. I don't want to have to get up at 6.30am on the days I don't have to do this and pay for breakfast club for his brother when I don't have to. I have told him this. I have also told him if he's that bothered he can get up himself and get the tram. He doesn't do thsi but then sobs all the way to school in the car because we're 'late'. (We're not. We are just a 'normal' time).

It's exhausting!

QuanticoVirginia · 12/06/2013 10:11

Another thing thinks spraying himself with a tonne of Lynx makes up for not washing or showering! (However bizarrely once he's been forced in the shower needs to be almost forcibly removed from it Confused)

ihatethecold · 12/06/2013 10:22

My DS13 is very hairy and eats like a horse.

Everything and I mean everything is boringBlush

But he is doing ok at school and helps me if I ask, always gets up and takes a shower before school. Isn't too messy.

But my god, the moods!

He can make one last all dayAngry