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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask anyone with a 13 year old boy (or similar age) to tell me what they are like?

124 replies

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 12/06/2013 08:23

DS is starting to really wind me up lately, answering me back when he didn't used to, lots of tutting and looking up at the sky, really winding up his sister which used to be now and again now seems all the time.

Just stormed off to school declaring he hates everyone no-one understands him, all because he told his sister he hated her and she got upset and I said he doesn't really mean it sweetheart, apparently I took her side !!! nothing happened before other than she was in his way when he was walking through.

I am sure this is just age related but to make me feel better and not alone would appreciate hearing other's stories.

Thanks :)

OP posts:

eminemmerdale · 12/06/2013 10:24

LYNX!!!! yes yes yes.. WHY??

PickleSarnie · 12/06/2013 10:24

Oh god. Sounds fun. . Ive got ten years to save up for boarding school fees x 2.....

burberryqueen · 12/06/2013 10:25

sits around pushing food into his mouth
does not attend school
trashes his room
does not wash
has destroyed or given away or sold everything i ever bought for him
steals money from me and tells me big kids with baseball bats forced him to do it
comes creeping around me when i am sleeping to see what he can steal
trashes the house
does that make you feel better?

burberryqueen · 12/06/2013 10:29

oh tells me to 'fuck off'

ExitPursuedByABear · 12/06/2013 10:29

Sigh

Here too -DD 13

Last year we had the audacity to take her to Stonehenge!

This year we are going to Venice and you would think I had arranged for a couple of days in the seventh circle of hell.

We embarrass her constantly, she harrumphs and rolls her eyes and shouts. But she still gets in bed for a cuddle and I can close my eyes and remember the little girl who used to hold my wrist all the time so that she could feel my pulse.

choirmum · 12/06/2013 10:30

Eminemmerdale, we clearly have the same child! Taller than me, almost as tall as DH and huge feet!

dufflefluffle · 12/06/2013 10:33

My parents would have said that I was an absolute nightmare at 13, 14, 15 (and probably 16) but I remember being deeply deeply unhappy but not knowing why. Because I was miserable I quite enjoyed passing my misery on to everyone else in the house.
Hormones, not your previously angelic babies are to blame!!
(now if I could only apply this understanding to my moody 10 year old over the next 8/10 years)

exexpat · 12/06/2013 10:37

Grrrrr - my DS was just like yours when he was 11 or 12: horrible to his sister, stroppy, constantly answering back, everything was unfair, I was always favouring his sister etc etc. Car journeys when I had both DCs in the back of the car were a stressful nightmare, and I occasionally had to resort to making emergency stops to stop them bickering.

DS hit puberty early (voice broke at 12, shaving at 13), and now, at 14/nearly 15, he is much pleasanter to have around. He does still on occasions deliberately wind up his little sister, but he is much more reasonable and civilised to have around, and I no longer feel like running away and leaving him to it.

I know some teens/preteens stay in the stroppy stage for longer than others. We had about two years, so I hope you don't have too much longer to go.

EleanorFarjeon · 12/06/2013 10:39

We can barely breathe upstairs in our house after the Lynx morning session.

Our 14 year old is mostly pretty nice, but has odd flashes of real gitness. He can be vile to his younger brother and yet this morning the 2 of them played rummy before school!

When he's really stroppy, I'll go out for a long dog walk with him. Our saving grace is that he absolutely loves walking. We'll do a mile of moping & grunting at me before he shakes off the mood and then he seems to 'come back'.

I have noticed that he's become really lazy when at home. He's got an aquarium and never cleans it. You can't even see the fish in it. But he says, 'they're fine!'.

I can't moan too much as he's done really well in his end of year exams and his teachers, who don't see the moody bits, seem to think he's very nice.

flipchart · 12/06/2013 10:40

Ds is 13 and although he has moments of stropiness he is lovely.
He makes me laugh and is able to stand up for himself.
He likes deep conversations and will mull things over and come back for more details. He is the peacemaker in the family and with his friends.

He doesn't like any form of discrimination and often challenges it. It surprises me where he gets his courage from.

He gets moody when he is tired and we fall out then when he is being rude.
He is just a regular kid. Neither a great saint nor a bad sinner. ( and I love him to bits)

TobyLerone · 12/06/2013 10:47

My 13yo DS is the loveliest boy alive. He's sweet and funny and still loves cuddling his mum.

12yo DD, on the other hand... Evil incarnate, most of the time.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum · 12/06/2013 10:53

Yes mine is horrid just now too with little bursts of loveliness.

He cannot seem to leave DC2 alone either, he was annoying him again last night and DC2 barricades his bedroom door so in the morning no-one can get in and one of his friends Mum apparently buy her DS the Nuts mag. I told him 'you are thirteen still a child'

Oh the joys!

Juniperdewdropofbrandy · 12/06/2013 10:54

burberryqueen Are you getting any support?

One thing that helps mine is the allotment. They love going down there, especially ds1. Gets him outside too. DS2 likes to be out but it's been a struggle finding something ds1 will do outdoors. But he's strong and is great at digging and planting

Oh and the dog, they both adore him. Pic on profile of my lovely rescue dog, my 3rd son and the baby

Juniperdewdropofbrandy · 12/06/2013 10:54

I mean the dog's my 3rd son and baby. There's no human one there

Doubtfuldaphne · 12/06/2013 11:16

My ds is 13 soon and very much the same .
Hates any form of personal hygiene, loves Xbox and computer, thinks he knows much better than me and dh and patronises me while tutting.
Can get very bad tempered over the smallest of things but after 5 minutes he's fine usually!

Original poster

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 12/06/2013 11:19

Thank you for everyone who has taken the time to reply.

I was able to relate and feel your pain. Some of the replies made me chuckle too.

Glad to know it doesn't last forever. He obviously has had tome to reflect as I received a text "sorry love u" short and sweet but meant a lot to me.

OP posts:

GraduateofPoorComp · 12/06/2013 11:20

Mine is approaching 15 and is getting better, although his behaviour is "patchy" which isn't surprising if I stop to think how much he's GROWING month by month! The quantities of food he takes in amazes me.

He too now regularly "hates" his younger sibling and they used to get on very well. I've now accepted that he has these feelings but I remind him(on a loop!) to be civil. I tell the younger one that he was a lovely big brother but being a teenager can make a person irrationally grumpy.

The positives are we now like a lot of the same comedy shows and he likes to talk about current affairs!

Hecsy keep the letter! Mine doesn't do writing. In fact the lack of enthusiasm for anything much is sad but I've stopped suggesting stuff and just try to be upbeat rather than critical. It is a tough time for them.

GraduateofPoorComp · 12/06/2013 11:20

That's a sweet text!

Eddie107 · 12/06/2013 11:22

Feeling reassured by all the mentions of Lynx - seriously thought DS was involved in aerosol abuse at one stage he was getting through so much of it!!!
Been lucky with DS (15). Very laid back and all his backchat is really funny so hasn't caused problems. Bedroom is a tip, thinks ironing clothes is pointless & seems to think Call of Duty counts as revision but generally the teen years are going OK.
DD hurtling towards puberty & I've been warned by friends not to expect such an easy time with a girl.

eminemmerdale · 12/06/2013 11:22

burberry awful :( I'm sorry.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum · 12/06/2013 11:26

Burberry are you getting any help with that? My DS2 was verbally and physically abusive and I dreaded to think what would happen if he hit puberty like that, he has had couselling and is a little better than he was.

burberryqueen · 12/06/2013 11:27

Are you getting any support?
no his dad doesnt like him or see him and ss came around and told me i was a crap parent but didnt offer any support.
fuck fuck fuck when you POAS you think you will have a lovely family not be sat here in tears being condemned by everyone for being a crap single mum.

EllieArroway · 12/06/2013 11:28

seems to think Call of Duty counts as revision

Ha! So true. My DS was revising for History GCSE last week and told me "Oh, it's OK...I know all about the Cold War thanks to xyz game* (can't remember which one exactly - but it had Kennedy & Castro in one to one combat ).

And another passive Lynx inhaler here. Not just every single variety of it in the form of sprays, but the shampoo & shower gel too

Sallystyle · 12/06/2013 11:32

He is dramatic, can be quite rude, doesn't want to talk about anything and thinks I know it all and he invented sex. No, he's not having sex, but he still thinks his generation invented it.

He also thought I was too old to know who Bob Marley is

He has times where he acts like he is four years old as well. I am out of touch and a big embarrassment to him.

He will be 14 this month. He has loads of nice bits about him too, but he likes to cover them up it seems lately

Sparklingbrook · 12/06/2013 11:33

Minecraft counts as revision here.

And he says the school are very unreasonable setting homework.

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