To ask my dad not to take innocent photos of strangers' children?

[whosiwhatsit]

My father is a talented amateur photographer as one of his hobbies. He has a nice camera and takes lovely photos of scenery, nature, ...and children. He isn't from the UK and when he comes to visit me here we often go out for walks and that sort of thing, and he brings his camera and takes these pictures. I feel really uncomfortable when we're walking through a park or something and he snaps photos of children eating ice cream, running about,etc.

Because my father isn't from this country he doesn't understand that taking photos of children you don't know is unacceptable here (I think?). The problem, though, is that my dad can't stand for me to correct him about anything so when I have tried to ask him not to do this he tells me I'm being ridiculous and carries right on.

So AIBU and should I just let him take these photos as he's harmless? Or do I try to get him to stop? If I should get him to stop, p,ease tell me what I should say?

I am considering forwarding a link to this thread to my dad so if there's anything you want to say to him directly about how you would feel if a strange man took a photo of your child in a park please do so and I would really appreciate it. I don't have children myself which is I think one of e reasons he won't listen to me about this.

Flossymuldoon. I understand your reasoning but if 1 person is that much of an issue then something should be done about them. Is it not crazy for anyone to freak at another person? You may ask them why they are taking photos, and possibly to delete them but they have no obligation to.

If your child is at risk from the birth parents hiring a private detective, you are not likely to see the PI.

How do you know that someone that is taking photos of their kids hasn't got you in the background? If that pic goes on FB then you are at just as much of a risk.

I feel sorry that you are living your life always looking over your shoulder. I thought adoption laws meant that this shouldn't be an issue but I guessi am wrong.

I also think that most people that take street shots are not likely to post their pics directly onto their status. They are more likely to keep them in albums.

I have to agree with Holiday. People seem so worried about photos of their children ending up online and in the hands of paedophiles who will find them arousing. In the grand scheme of problems in my life, I have to file that particular one under 'things that are utterly pointless to worry about'.

sovery .....yes that's what annoyed me.

It was bloody rude. I was struggling to articulate the feeling I had. You hit the nail on the head.

Op will your dad accept a ' in our culture it is considered rude to..' Argument?

I am guessing if you say to him don't do it because someone will think you are up to no good, he pooh poohs it because he knows he is an innocent photographer and just cannot empathise parents concerns.

A broken record of' bloody hell dad that is so rude ' every time he does it and scuttling away from him. Might make him think. If he says it isn't rude, just repeat 'in this country it is considered really bad manners not to ask first. '

Special subject. Why is it manners. If you ate taking street photos you don't have a chance to stop and ask-the moment will be gone and the photo lost.

And if it is a streetscape, do you stop everyone in their cars, on buses, and walking.

It is not illegal and people need to stop being so paranoid.

Yes agree its rude. When in Rome do as they do! Your dad is being very rude and dismissive of our cultural sensitivities.

In a personal level I would hate some stranger photographing me or my kids.

He's also risking a punch in the face and his camera being smashed by some idiot.

And it should be added " some people think its bad manners". Because some people have more important things to worry about

Anyone who thinks it rude do you read newspapers and watch the news?

children are everywhere, so get documented as a part of life

lots of photos with children in, are used all over the world every day

On the local news and world news, there are many children caught on camera.

Is it only stills pictures that worry you or all filming, how do you avoid CCTV?

do all just listen to radio?

No it's not the generic people walking thru a shot that's the issue tho. It's someone taking a photo of me, specificaly as the subject without asking That would be rude.

Like someone reading my newspaper o the train without asking rude.

You can't avoid being a bystander in images.

I guess the guy that took the photo of the poor child drenched in napalm and on fire in Vietnam asked permission before taking the photo. And I seem to remember that won many awards.

Earthworms

So as long as there is more than one person in the shot it is OK?

So if you were sat on a bench in the park and someone took a picture that had you sitting on the bench, you object to this?

The problem is that nowadays everyone has a camera and too many are obsessed with posting everything on the internet, many parents don't want their childs image splashed all over the internet, end of. If I see a stranger taking a photo of my child, I don't know them, I don't know their intentions, I don't want my kids image taken or published without my permission.

Some bitch took out her camera phone to take pictures of my dd having a tantrum the other day, yes I challenged her and was livid, I would love a law to arrest idiots like that. The only reason for taking such a photo is to put it up on facebook so pathetic little people like herself can laugh at a toddler. Others are targeted for their clothes, looks etc...

I hate this surveillance society, that you can't walk down the street without being in the background to someones photos is bad enough, it is outrageous that anyone can target you or your child as the main focus any time you step outside the door.

We need strong privacy laws, the freedom to walk down the street without having your image plastered all over the internet is far more important than the self entitlement of those who think it's their right to invade our privacy.

Your father is from a different culture but he's not stupid, he needs to know that he will offend people who will be angered by invasion of privacy and make some feel endangered because they may have escaped an abusive relationship, moved from a stalker, have a child who is in foster care and worry that their location could be revealed to the wrong people if those images were publicised. Explain that and tell him to ask first, it's simple manners.

I think it's fine for adults/children to accidentally end up in the background of shots, but it's not on to deliberately take photos of adults/children just going about their day to day lives. Different if you have permission and/or they are posing/performing.

And this one, never should have happened I guess, she was only 12. But heck, it's not like anyone took much notice or it was widely distributed. Not in the pre-Internet age, no sir, couldn't happen.

why do people get upset about someone wanting to take a photo of their child. ds has often had his photo taken by people i do not know

i can understand if their are issues around safety but if this is not the case i really can not understand what the worry is

what a shame but yes many people read crap they print in many papers and get all hysterical over such matters

but it's not on to deliberately take photos of adults/children just going about their day to day lives

I keep asking do the people disagree with photos, filming, cctv being used , do they watch TV, or read newspapers?

If we went down the route of We need strong privacy laws we would find that almost no images including unpaid people could be used, you would effectively shut down the media.

And as there are a lot of people who need watching, and scrutinising (dodgy politicians, business people) , if legislation was passed to protect "the public" it would also include the dodgy.

Every single day last week on our local news there was footage of families on the beach, as the weather was very sunny and hot, all started with a panned in shot of a child waterside, across a full beach and ended up with families sitting eating ice creams, how would you differentiate who was allowed to take what?

To be honest,unless he's standing in the middle of a children's park it's unlikely anybody is going to notice.

People are taking photos of things/people all the time,particularly on their phones,how can you tell what they're really taking a photo of? You can't.

alot of photographers go to foreign countries, and including photos of nature, cityscapes etc, they have some photos of children. Their is is an exhibition right now of one at natural history museum. Not just kids obv, photos of the world,

www.google.co.uk/search?gs_rn=16&gs_ri=psy-ab&suggest=p&cp=17&gs_id=6&xhr=t&q=sebasti%C3%A3o+salgado&bav=on.2,or.r_qf.&bvm=bv.47534661,d.d2k&biw=1366&bih=596&wrapid=tljp137098496968700&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=a5S3UafcBayr0gWt84DwDQ

sorry cant link

interesting anyway

www.google.co.uk/search?gs_rn=16&gs_ri=psy-ab&suggest=p&cp=17&gs_id=6&xhr=t&q=sebasti%C3%A3o+salgado&bav=on.2,or.r_qf.&bvm=bv.47534661,d.d2k&biw=1366&bih=596&wrapid=tljp137098496968700&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=a5S3UafcBayr0gWt84DwDQ

Sebastiao salgado

Perhaps the way to explain it to him is that whether his hobby is perfectly harmless or not he runs the risk of being punched in the face and having his nice camera broken. The legalities of it will not mend his broken nose or broken camera.

The real issue here is the arrogance of your DF in thinking that he knows better than you no matter what.

The legalities of it will, however, award him ample compensation.

The OP is looking for ways to explain it to her DF. The way to explain it is that some people feel very strongly about having their children's photographs taken possibly to the point where they will take the law into their own hands.

Blue, are you saying that if someone done break his camera and punch him in the face it will be ok for him because he will get some compensation?

I think what blue was saying in a roundabout way is that the person taking things into their own hands would be wrong in their actions.

My foreign dad does this too! I do find it really awkward. He doesn't snap random kids and does ask but I still think he looks like a pervert (which he is really very not!) because even if the parents agree to it (which actually they generally do, they just look uncomfortable) they clearly think he's a bit mad. He's just a lovely guy and loves kids and being outdoors, so if he sees two cute kids together sitting on a rock eating an ice cream then he'll say, 'Oh they're so cute, do you mind if I take their photo?' and the parents go 'Er, ok' and then stand to the side and kind of glare at him a bit while I try not to sink into the ground.