To think that parents should educate their children about animals?

[Alisvolatpropiis]

In this case I refer to dogs.

Today I spent the afternoon at a friends. She has two young and lovely children. It was her birthday,various friends and their children were also present. I took along my very small Jack Russell,she's very sweet natured. Before I get jumped on - I am always very careful about introducing her to children,both dogs and children are unpredictable. So of course she was on her lead.

A family arrived the same time I did with three children in tow. One of the children showed an obvious aversion straight away, so I made sure she wasn't near him. The mum said "don't worry X, the dog is on it's lead". That's fine.

However everybody was in the garden and she deliberately sat her children as far away as possible. The three children were all obviously very nervous about the dog. Another mum commented that the three of them had never had much contact with dogs before. Of course my dog was on her lead, I had already noticed the children's discomfort.

But other children were petting her and enjoying it. She is ideal child size in terms of dogs. Am I being unreasonable to think that an opportunity was missed to introduce these children to what is a very common house pet in the UK?

I appreciate that some children/adults are simply frightened of dogs. It's a phobia for some on the same way spiders are for me. Or have had a terrible experience which has left them frightened.

But surely showing children how to behave around animals is a positive thing? The two things I was taught as a child about dogs were 1) don't touch unless invited 2) if a dog runs towards you - stand still. Training is obviously an absolute imperative if one is to a responsible dog owner. I just think educating children is also important.

YANBU. I actually know a mum who's managed to make her young daughter terrified of dogs because she's never allowed her to so much as pet one. There's nothing wrong with being wary of dogs you don't know, however it's ridiculous to not allow your kids anywhere near them as well!

I have a 4 year old who is terrified of dogs after a bad experience. In time we will help her to overcome it but I would not force her to socialise with a dog she has just met in a situation like a party.

I agree with you. My ds1 was always terrified of dogs, so I taught him the 2 basic rules you have mentioned. He is now fine with small dogs (he loves jack Russells) ok with any dogs he knows, but occasionally still freezes when a big dog comes near.

My best friend growing up was terrified of all animals, dogs cats rabbits! I remember her coming to a BBQ at my grandparents once, and they had to shut their jack Russell in the kitchen as she was so scared.

I guess the child in question may have been.bitten in the past which might make the phobia.understandable?

froggie I did say in my OP that many children/adults have had bad experiences and I totally understand why their parents/the adult wouldn't want to socialise with a dog they'd just met.

My point with these children was that they were wary because they'd never met any dogs and so maybe an opportunity was missed.

YABU unless you know the children/ family well & understand why they were kept away. Maybe there was a reason for it?

I get really annoyed with dog owners who expect everybody else to love their pet.

I do agree though that lots of children don't seem to have any experience of dogs & don't know how to approach or behave. I am always surprised at the number of children who walk over & stroke my dog without asking. I always tell them to ask before they touch a dog they don't know.

YABU...some people have no interest in animals, or getting to know how to behave around them. Its not a necessity

Also froggie I am very sorry your dc has had a bad experience at such a young age

YANBU in thinking the mum could have handled it better, she could have asked you to closely supervise if she was nervous.

But it was totally her choice, maybe she doesn't want her children near any dogs so she sees no need to get them used to it.

Most children love soft friendly pets, it does seem a shame not to capitalise on that really.

Grockle I was told by someone who did know them well that the children were wary because they didn't have any experience of being around dogs.

I don't expect everybody to love my dog. I live in the most ethnically diverse area of my city,many of my neighbours are Muslim and do not like her. This is why I have made the effort to ensure her recall is good when off lead and am always careful to pay attention to other people's reactions to her whether she is on/off the lead.

I'm not judging the mum and dad for their actions exactly,it's more it made me think about things generally speaking.

I mean I remember at age 12 I was very nervous of my friends cat at a sleepover because it had been well over 10 years since I'd been near one and had no idea how to behave around it.

I also appreciate that some people simply don't like animals but that doesn't mean one is prohibited from knowing how to deal with situations that involve them. I would never force my dog on other adults/children but others will without a second thought.

YANBU - I think exposure to animals and learning about them is the way to promote good ownership and positive animal relationships throughout life.

However, that's not to say that people and children haven't had negative experiences already that may cloud them coming up to you.

Both of mine are encouraged to "make friends" with animals, and to take care of their own. I do, however, ensure that DS1 (who is old enough to do so) only approaches and strokes a strange dog with its owners consent, that he never touches an animal that is eating (even our own) and that he respects their own need for personal space (in their beds)

It was just a scary experience. She wasn't physically hurt. She was in her pushchair, straps tied when a little dog ran down the street and jumped up on top of her. She was trapped and as we were crossing the street I had to make sure we were safely across before I could help her.

I just think a party would not be the place to try to help a child get over a fear, too much going on and an 'audience' there.

I dislike when people try to push dd into meeting their dog. She just isn't ready yet but I take your point about educating children about dogs. My other child loves dogs and I have to constantly remind her about approaching them safely.

I must have missed that somehow, does being a Muslim have a bearing on whether you like dogs or not?

I also appreciate that some people simply don't like animals but that doesn't mean one is prohibited from knowing how to deal with situations that involve them

but, they just avoid situations that involve animals

same as, I could learn about golf, but I prefer to just avoid it...

Obviously not always AgentZigzag it is just something I have observed living in my area.

I agree froggie, and also dislike dog owners coming over all 'Aww, she's alright, she won't bite', and 'he really is friendly, no need to be scared' to the person cowering in the corner with a huge hulk of a dog trying to give their face a lick.

It's up to the person to come up to the dog, not the owner decide they should be OK with it.

Our dog's 8 now, but previous to her I wasn't keen on them from being bitten in the face by one (and other bites). Whether I decided to go near them should have been up to me, I never cowered in corners, but I was near panic a couple of times because of owners ignoring what I said.

i do understand your point and before having children would've agreed but dd is really wary/frightened of dogs - myself and dp have grown up with dogs, so whilst respectful of ones we don't know are in no way scared, my ds's are fine around them too, but she is extemely nervous and will try to avoid.

i may have tried to introduce your dog to dd in that situation, but wouldn't force her and if she had wanted to sit elsewhere i would have, not really the time or place to try to tackle a phobia especially if i don't know the dog or owner.

I wasn't trying to kick off a bun fight with that Alis

It's just I've never heard of not liking dogs being linked to being a Muslim.

froggie I can see why that has left her frightened. A "little" dog is not actually very little when one is a small child. It's like an adult/Labrador size wise. As I've said I would never force my dog on anybody,having noticed the children's discomfort I made sure not to put my dog near them.

The thread wasn't started because I was offended that three young children didn't like my dog,it was more of a general thought on how children and dogs can interact in a positive way when said children don't have dogs in their own homes.

I know what you meant Agent it may just be where I live,I didn't mean it as a blanket rule!

Islam forbids the keeping of dogs as family pets as they are seen as unclean animals.

I think there are prohibitions on dogs as pets in Islam (or some branches of it at least) so your Muslim neighbours may have religious reasons for steering clear, as well as perhaps just not liking dogs: islam.about.com/od/islamsays/a/Dogs-In-Islam.htm

I think in some Muslim countries people do keep dogs, but generally more outdoors or as working dogs.

Sorry - clickable link: islam.about.com/od/islamsays/a/Dogs-In-Islam.htm

But religious reasons aside, I also think it's a shame that some parents seem to do everything to actively make children scared of dogs, which can put them at more risk (scared = more likely to shriek, flap, run around etc and get a dog more worked up) rather than teaching them how to behave with dogs. I presume they are just passing on their own childhood fears.

I thought that was re Islam. I am always careful to be respectful. But I was friend with people at school who were Muslim who had per dogs so I suppose it depends on how devout the people involved are?

I always err on the side of caution and assume that people do not find my dog as delightful as I do,hence deliberate training.

As I've said,it was more of a general thought re dogs and children that resulted in this thread, rather thane being one of those dog owners.