To think that parents should educate their children about animals?

[Alisvolatpropiis]

In this case I refer to dogs.

Today I spent the afternoon at a friends. She has two young and lovely children. It was her birthday,various friends and their children were also present. I took along my very small Jack Russell,she's very sweet natured. Before I get jumped on - I am always very careful about introducing her to children,both dogs and children are unpredictable. So of course she was on her lead.

A family arrived the same time I did with three children in tow. One of the children showed an obvious aversion straight away, so I made sure she wasn't near him. The mum said "don't worry X, the dog is on it's lead". That's fine.

However everybody was in the garden and she deliberately sat her children as far away as possible. The three children were all obviously very nervous about the dog. Another mum commented that the three of them had never had much contact with dogs before. Of course my dog was on her lead, I had already noticed the children's discomfort.

But other children were petting her and enjoying it. She is ideal child size in terms of dogs. Am I being unreasonable to think that an opportunity was missed to introduce these children to what is a very common house pet in the UK?

I appreciate that some children/adults are simply frightened of dogs. It's a phobia for some on the same way spiders are for me. Or have had a terrible experience which has left them frightened.

But surely showing children how to behave around animals is a positive thing? The two things I was taught as a child about dogs were 1) don't touch unless invited 2) if a dog runs towards you - stand still. Training is obviously an absolute imperative if one is to a responsible dog owner. I just think educating children is also important.

I don't get any patronising vibes off the OP GoodIdea, she's said a few times she's not forcing her dog on anyone else.

YABU, I don't encourage my kids to interact with random people's dogs.

Don't see the point.

I prefer that my children have a wariness towards dogs, they are not afraid but neither do they get involved unnecessarily.

IsThisAGoodIdea is perhaps being harsher than I am but I pretty much agree with her. The only interest I/my kids have in your dog is that you have it under control. We have seen dogs before, they are not that interesting.

DD has a friend that seems to be scared of all animals. We have hamsters, rabbits and a dog. Ages ago (when we had 2 dogs) her mum approached us about a play day as she was having day surgery and had no-one to look after her DD. We said sure, but pointed out we have dogs (always do in case of allergies/phobias). Mum asked us if we could 'get rid of' the dog for the day

Being the nice people we are we actually managed to do so (my friend took them). The dog we lost was a Rottie and we get that lots of people are scared of them.

Well needless to say the day was damn near a disaster. Friend wouldn't go into the garden (warm day, lots of space) as the rabbits were running about (they are free range) and screamed when she went into the playroom and saw the hamster cage (not even the hamsters as they were sleeping!)

I shifted the cage and everything calmed down. But Mum actually had a go at me when I returned her DD that night for "exposing her daughter to dirty unhygienic animals and not informing her beforehand" . I have never thought to tell another parent about bloody hamsters or rabbits. Some people are just weird.

(Conversely I've just had an invite to a housewarming/BBQ where dogs are welcome but children aren't! Looking at the guest list I reckon there will be about 12 dogs attending. We aren't going, but I thought it was an amusing twist!)

I think YABU. I agree that it is good to encourage children to get to know animals and be safe around them - however a one off incident at a party is unlikely to really give them that opportunity. My DS was nervous around dogs and it's taken repeated instances of us encouraging him to relax around my sister's and our neighbour's dogs before he is at a stage where he feels more confident - he's now 4.5. Also children do generally become less fearful naturally as they grow as it changes their perception of the power dynamic (I mean I can quite understand as a 2 year old why my son didn't really like a dog up right in his face and any completely harmless boisterousness would be likely to knock him over!! - at 4.5 there is not the same issue).

I also think the safety issue is a far more important one and if children are nervous of dogs they are unlikely to approach them or tease them thus putting themselves at risk. Hence I would not see it as a major priority (if I didn't come in to contact with many dogs) to insist my children lose their fear.

Encouraging the child to pat your dog as a one off would not solve the problem of being nervous of dogs and to be fair they were there for a party and the mum possibly couldn't be bothered that day (so shoot her )

She said she didn't force her dog on anyone but actually she did - she took it to a party where the family don't own their own dog. Granted, the party host said the dog was welcome - but it was forced on to the other people attending who may have assumed that as the host family didn't own a dog, there would not be one there.

OP, I think YABextremelyU. Some people adore dogs, some don't. Those of us that do have absolutely no right to insist that those that don't are educated about them by exposure or any other means. If I want my children educated about dogs, I am perfectly capable of doing that without having it foisted on me at a party.

I would be afraid of a dog the size of a horse which is pretty much the same ratio for a toddler and a medium sized dog.

Dogs are fine, I don't mind them around but I don't get the big deal that some people seem to make about them.

Nobody except for the parents and the children know what experience they have had with dogs, or why they are hesitant around them.

DS is 3 and has always been fine with dogs, yesterday some idiots left their dog off a lead and it jumped up at DS and snapped at him while he was sat eating an ice cream. The owners did the "oh but he wouldn't hurt anyone" act an was a complete idiot when we carried on our walk for the first time DS was scared when he saw dogs.

It doesn't take a lot of bother small children, and there is no point trying to force close contact if that is going to cause issues. Perhaps for those children being in the same garden as a dog was a big step forward.

YABU - one of my Dds used to be afraid of dogs, we tried to reassure her and she is much bette row, but it is up to her to ask I she wants to approach a dog. DD2 is terrified since a bouncy but large puppy was off its lead on the beach and snaffled her ice cream. I would also sit her as far away as possible (in fact, it would have ruined the party for her if someone had brought a dog but that's our problem to deal with) as she would be terrified.

Gawd Dallas bet she never got invited back

Ds2 was scared of dogs when younger. Mainly because despite me shouting 'stand still' he would run every time he saw one. He's end up with a long line of dogs chasing him because they thought he wanted to play. His fear became a real issue because he stopped being invited to some friends houses because he was such a PITA around dogs (would start crying, refuse to go in rooms etc). I would have welcomed your dog OP. We sorted it in the end by getting our own dog & now he's some sort of dog whisperer who loves all dogs & I am always having to tell him to get his hand out of the dog's mouth.

Bit much to say the OP forced her dog on people when it was invited. We visit one friend who asks me to always being our dog because her dd wants to see the dog more than us.

No saintly, she never did Which is a shame because aside of the wuss factor she is quite a nice kid. Her mother is to blame here, she's really screwed her daughter over and DD says that she never gets play invites etc because of her issues

I'm not a dog fan. My children are told not to pay dogs they don't know. If a dog was present at a Froend's house I'd just think "oh no, something else to have to supervise the kids around." I absolutely wouldn't think what a great learning experience it might be.
YABU.

Pay = pat

I,d flip your question.
You say you are afraid of spiders, how would you feel if you were attending a party and I bought my sons pet tarantula along?
Would you see it as an opportunity to get over your fear? Or would you be sitting as far away from me as possible and feeling very uncomfortable.
Just because you love your dog, not everyone will.

Actually, I agree with OP to some extent. Introducing a calm, medium sized dog to a child who isn't already scared, ie to a child that just hasn't been around pets can actually stand them in good stead in the long term. DDs pre school (in Cyprus) used to do it and the kids used to have short lessons in pet care, like what foods are good for different pets, brushing, washing, caring for them etc.

It has led to a love of all animals for DD and she is surprisingly knowledgable - like when we got our rabbits she jumped in straight away to tell me that lettuce and carrots aren't actually good for rabbits in large amounts - something I didn't know and wouldn't even have considered.

She also seems to exude a calm, authorative air when confronted with a new dog. She's never had a dog jump up at her or mouth her for example. I don't know how she does it - maybe she'll be a better version of the Dog Whisperer when she's older .

yanbu. Whether or not you're a dog fan or not surely it's pretty debilitating to have a phobia about anything especially something common like dogs?

I wouldn't choose to allow my DC's to be scared of anything whether that's dogs, cats, insects, flying, water - whatever. Treat all those things with respect, yes but I would try to ensure that if they came into contact with them that it wasn't traumatic.

We have a dog, cats, guinea pigs, chickens and a gecko at home and 3 years ago got bees. DS1 (now 9) was a bit frightened at first but he was encouraged to watch from a safe distance and now he helps with them. He still has a healthy aversion to getting stung but he doesn't feel anxious around them.

YANBU. Dogs are a fact of life and we do our children a disservice if we don't prepare them for meeting them.

My DSSs used to be scared of dogs partly because their mother is. DH and I worked hard to help them get over it. You don't have to like dogs but if you flap your hands and fuss you make them think you're playing and as the more intelligent creature (in most cases ) the human should act responsibly.

I don't have a dog.

My 4 year old boys love dogs, we have 2 large greyhounds. They have been taught never to approach a dog they don't know without asking the owner first.
My friends DD is terrified of dogs. We put ours in the lounge (away from where the DC's play when friend and DD come round. I would never dream of taking our dogs to a child's party as even though they are the most laid back of hounds, a child's party is not a good environment for a dog. I would also be concerned of exactly the response from a child as you got - the party was spoiled for the child.

YABU.

I see what you mean but it really does have to be up to the parent

maybe she never will help her child to see that dogs can be nice maybe she will at another time

when I take lolly to the school I'm usually passed by two different children with their parents

both seem very scared of all dogs but the ways the parents deals with it in each case is sooo totally different

one scoops her child up as soon as she spots my dog and then hurries past as far as possible away from us, even stepping into the road to ensure maximum distance. personally I dont think this helps her child in any way but its not up to me

the other walks past us at a 'normal' distance holding her childs hand and calming saying, its ok, its a nice doggy, hes just sitting waiting for 'insert dd2s name here'
both children seem equally scared but I reckon child two has a better chance of not developing a life limiting fear

I would just like to add that I'm not trying to make all children think all dogs are just wonderful

my kids adore dogs but they have been taught that its very very important to never approach an unknown dog

the rule is if a dog is with owner you may ask if you can pet the dog
if the dog is without owner and you don't already know the dog then leave it alone

they also understand that I will approach unknown dogs if needs be
as in they have seen me rescue at least two dogs from busy roads

they are allowed to rescue lambs instead

Trin, my friends Springer 'rescued' a lamb once He's a working dog, so used to retrieving with a 'soft' mouth. Friend was walking all his dogs down the lane to the fields, but they come across about 10 lambs all in the road. Friend managed to shoo most of them, but one was headed off to the main road. Spinger chased after it and carried it back! Lamb completely unhurt and my friend rather bemused

aww thats so sweet

I dont think Loll would be so sweet with a lamb

she wouldn't try to eat it but she would use it as a toy

*Lolly

Well yes Dallas - when ds2 started to not be invited to play at friend's houses because of his reaction to perfectly friendly dogs I realised we needed to do something about it.

The party host asked the OP to bring her dog for the birthday girl for everyone saying she shouldn't have taken it with her.

Yavbu. You have no clue why the children were weary, only what you've been told through gossip. It really annoys mw when I'm otr with the kids I nanny for and people think my seven year old is being stupid as he's terrified of dogs coming up to him. it's taken eighteen months of me working on it for him to stop screaming every time a dog is within five metres.

Yet every time we go out I get people telling me it's fine, their dog is lovely, they love kids, etc. he's being silly, why doesn't he just come and pat it and so on. On thursday one of these peoples dogs came and ate his lunch before chasing him as he ran terrified and has undone eighteen months of work on dogs.

if a child has a phobias you should never force it on them. If they are weary, I'd rather that than them running up to dogs and not asking owners before petting. I'd the parents are scared of did then they probably know that their fear is slightly irrational, but it still doesn't stop a fear and they shouldn't be subjected to their fear because you don't feel it's okay for them to 'pass it on'.