School are unable to tell yr5/6 children that homosexuality is normal.

[EleanorHandbasket]

It's in their policies. We've just been to a meeting about what they are going to be learning over the next yr with regard to health and sex education.

In the handout it says that 'any questions raised by pupils that require an answer that exceeds the agreed content of this policy, eg homosexual sex, will not be answered in an open class discussion. the matter will be referred to the individual parents for further guidance on their child's emotional needs.'

My friend asked what that meant for a child asking 'is homosexuality normal?'. the teacher replied that they woudl be unable to answer that question because they can't be seen to be making a judgement either way.

I don't really understand why they can't say,'yes it's normal'. End of discussion.

The teacher said that's because some parents may have issues around it and that they have to cater to all the parents wishes.

Well, I think that by refusing to state that it's normal, as in some people are homosexual and it is totally a) legal, b) not a choice, and c) likely to be the reality for many of the children being taught (whether that's personally or to do with friends and family), that they are in fact making a judgement.

My other friend (who is a teacher) thinks that actually they are doing teh best they can within the confines of the policy and parents' wishes.

I'm just really uncomfortable with it. AIBU? And is there any point talking to the governers?

The school will have to be sensitive to the religious beliefs of some parents, and I think there are some things that are up to parents to deal with, not schools. This is probably one of them.

'Wow I had no idea homophobia was still in our schools'

Really? the homophobic bullying in many secondaries is a huge concern.

If this happened at my children's school, I think many parents would withdraw their kids so that they didn't have to risk them experiencing homophobia in a lesson on sex and relationships.

Are there other parents at the school who don't agree with the school's approach?

OMG - that's awful. YANBU at all. Of course homosexuality is 'normal'. Just like heterosexuality is 'normal'. To say anything other than that is to say that it's 'different'.

And to have to single out a child who asks the question is even more horrible.

DS1 is gay, and I would have been heartbroken if anything like this had happened to him - or if any of his classmates had asked a question that resulted in this kind of action.

"The school will have to be sensitive to the religious beliefs of some parents,"

why?

Well it's not normal in the conventional sense of the word is it - ie the norm? The norm is heterosexual relationships whereas, what, 1 in 10 or whatever being homosexual?

My DS primary skipped sex ed all together NO connection to new religious nutter creationist presbyt head T I'm sure

Schools have restrictions of all sorts on them, religious and secular and I know not all children can address sexuality issues at home - I wish they could- if you can influence the school to provide a more egalitarian approach, do. If not, provide it at home, who knows how your child's comfort/knowledge of the subject may help another.

FWIW I think schools who don't deal sensitively and maturely with same sex relationships are probably religious nutters ridiculous and I certainly have would put in a complaint

But to say it's not normal is to stigmatise it, surely? And of course it's normal!

Even age 5 /6 children can understand that a loving relationship between two people of the same gender is normal and ok.

(One of many normals if you're being really picky).

You would hardly have to explain sex to them. Age appropriate.

... bearing in mind that the opposite of normal is 'abnormal' - do we really want to talk about homosexuality being 'abnormal'? I don't think so.

100% with ubik.

Schools don't have to be all that sensitive. They're allowed to teach about all sorts of things people of certain religions would object to. Just not this one, apparently.

Oh dear. I really don't like the trump card religion seems to have in our society, as long as it's somebodies religion, any amount of bigotry is tolerated.

OP, as you say it's a state primary, not a religious school.

Is it run by the local authority? I wonder what their take is on that because what you describe could be interpreted as discrimination.

My dgs goes to a CoE primary school and has been told that men can marry[?]men, ladies can marry ladies but you need a man and a lady to make a baby...

I know this isn't primary - but I sat in on a PHSE class (Y10) with a very forthright and provoking teacher who would put a question on the board, and it then became a group discussion.

Some pupils will ask thought provoking and genuine questions, others will try and turn the discussion.

Really it's up to the teacher to turn the question back.

So the topic statement was "do we use sex as a commodity" - that opens up a range of debate from kiss and tell tabloid, to prostitution, to one child announcing his mother used sex to get the credit card to go shopping and one bright spark piped up (with the desire to put the debate to a base level) that the only way to avoid being trapped was to [quote] give it to her up the arse.

Some of you will think that it is normal sexual practice and should be discussed, some of you will think it abhorant and a topic not for polite society. But unless you are in the class and know the child and know who is trying to play who for as a fool.

As this was the class fool (with a history of sexually inappropriate behaviour towards female members of staff) it was bounced right back with "if you are doing it like that, you should get your aim straight"

There is the standard phrase that every thing is ok if all parties are consenting, which takes out all reference.

How can they possibly tackle homophobic bullying if they can't discuss homosexuality?

So the school is choosing to further stigmatise gay people rather than offend homophobic parents. Nice moral lesson

I'm surprised and saddened that this is an issue.

Age - I see your point but the question here doesn't use normal in the statistical sense, but the colloquial one.

Say the question was 'is it normal for a black and a white person to be married?' This isn't normal in terms of being the most common type of marriage, but wouldn't you find it shocking for that question to need to be referred to parents?

Imagine if the school said that, because it is still rarer for people to marry outside their ethnicity, they therefore won't discuss that. Because it's not the norm/'normal'.

Crosspost!