To wear a bright scarf to dads funeral?

[monkeynuts123]

My father died and I want to show some celebration of his life in an otherwise serious and sad funeral service. I want to wear a bright scarf and will otherwise be wearing black formal clothes. Is a big splash of colour like this going to offend people do you think? Mentioned it to mum and she thinks it's ok but rest of family can be bitter twisted bunch and I don't want to do anything to give cause for attack but at same time want to wear something that symbolises life. I don't want to link to scarf but it's silk and vivid pinks, purples and turquoise.

Wear what you like, I'm so sorry about your Dad.

My Mum is terminally ill and she has specified she wants NO black at her funeral. You know him best and you remember him however the hell you like.

Wear it.

When a friend died (long illness so she planned her own funeral), her instruction was that no-one should wear black and they should dress as if attending a celebration...which is what she wanted her funeral to be. It was lovely.

My condolences for your loss.

You do what you feel is right - if any one queries it - you simply say "Dad asked me to wear this, he loved the colours in this scarf" - whether that is true or no is neither here nor there, but if you are running the risk of cats-bum faces - well, no one dare criticise the deads wishes do they

my condolences on your los

sorry about your dad.wear what you feel comfortable in
it's demanding enough day without worries about ones attire

So sorry for your loss

FWIW I think even the older generations are much more relaxed about what you wear these days.

I agree with others though - wear what feels right to you. I do hope the day goes how you want it to. I wish you strength x

I think your choice should be based on what you think your dad would have wanted, then what you want. But I would tell people (if I wanted to keep the peace, I didn't at my dad's funeral!) that it was his preference.

I'm so sorry for your loss - do whatever gets you through, and don't be afraid to cry at the nasty relatives.

Another one saying wear the scarf, it sounds lovely. I am very sorry for the loss of your dad.

I didn't want anyone to wear black at DD1's funeral, all black was too much. I think the idea of colour as celebration is lovely.

Sorry to read about your Dad - but def. wear the scarf! It's him you're honouring and if he would've liked it - go for it!

Sorry about your Dad.
Before my mother-in-law died I bought a mustard yellow coat. She loved it. She said it bought sunshine to the room. I wore it to her funeral with pride.
Wear the scarf.

Definitely wear the scarf. At my dads funeral my lovely wee niece was all in black apart from her bright red tights. She wanted to wear something bright for her Grampa. She lifted all our spirits that day and dad would have loved it.

You and your mum are the chief mourners, so do as you feel is appropriate.

Your otherwise black clothes will show the right amount of respect. A bright scarf sounds like you are having a celebration for the life of your loved one, which many funerals are.

The only time I get slightly judgmental is when people just wear ordinary clothes to funerals without any thought. This is just a cultural problem of mine, though. I was brought up to wear black to funerals, and indeed at my mother's funeral every one wore black (definitely black ties for men). Here in the Home Counties, they wear any old thing but I still wear black.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I have a seriously straight laced family and when I arrived for my DGF funeral with a huge racing green fascinator (his favourite colour) My DF grinned when he saw it and said my DGF would have loved it as I inherited his eccentric streak.

Wear with pride, your DF would think it was wonderful.

Imagine your dad in front of you & ask him what he thinks about the scarf. You have your answer; don't worry about anyone else.

And I'm so sorry xx

So sorry for your loss. My nan hated black, even for funerals. At her funeral I wore a black suit (the only suit I have) but paired it with a pink top. By coincidence my mum, sister and Aunt also wore a pink/ red top!

My late Aunt's favourite colour was pink .
It was important to me to wear pink ( had a pink cardi , black skirt and coat )
The amount of her friends and family who wore something pink was amazing
All unplanned , but all so like her
Wear the lovely scarf

Wear it. I went to a family friend's funeral with glittery, bright coloured nails. She always had outrageously coloured, eccentric looking, utterly fabulous designs on her nails which is something I always loved about her and not doing my nails before her funeral would've been weirder than glitzing them up because it was her.

He's your dad. There is no wrong way to remember him at his funeral, if it feels right to you then it is right and anyone who doesn't like it can fuck right off.

Wear whatever you like.

My Mum died recently and my sister and I both wore top to toe black except our shoes which were bright colours.

Probably looked odd to outsiders but my Mother loved a pair of red shoes.

I am sorry for your loss.

My lovely stepdad died 10 years sgo this week, it was a lovely warm day, my mum, my sisters and myself all wore colourful summer dresses.

When FIL died, MIL specified no black at the funeral. She herself wore a blue and white outfit.

my cousin turned up to my dads funeral in biker leathers. it felt like life would carry on and not end and there was some normality left.

we wore bright colours, we let his sisters and brothers choose what they felt comfortable in.

Wear it. My niece did the same at my mils funeral. Said that she liked at bit of colour, which she did. Made me ashamed of wearing black.

YANBU. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Wear what you like (can you see a theme here?!), I wore a purple wrap over a chocolate coloured dress for my Dad's funeral with a long silver and amber necklace. My Mum wore a colourful dress. You get to decide.

sweetie you wear whatever the hell you want. I haven't read the thread but I'm positive the mn collective will agree. I'm so sorry you lost your dad. mine was buried in his tracking bottoms and slippers no suit for him. I wore a flowery maxi dress. nothing formal because he was not that kind of bloke. his funeral is to celebrate his life and his relationships and if you want to associate his life with bright colours then do so. x

Another vote for wear it.

I wore a red and cream scarf for my Grandma's funeral with a red jacket. I never usually wear red or bright colours.

She hated dark colours. Dreary she would say. It raised eyebrows but my close family said it was apt and she would appreciate it.