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AIBU?

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Original poster

To leave DP over £2000 he 'accidently' threw away with the rubbish?

226 replies

mumstonic · 04/06/2013 16:57

I think this has to be the final straw really.

We run a business. Its a struggle. Just when I think we're finally turning a corner I discover the DP had accidently thrown out an envelope with just over £2000 in it. We were paid by a customer on Friday, the money was due to go into the bank today and now its in a landfill somewhere.

Gutted is an understatement. Just another careless idiotic thing in a long line. I hate running this business, I've had enough and I just want to leave.

OP posts:
MinesADecaff · 04/06/2013 22:09

I cannot imagine how the fuck that would've happened. What did he do, just sweep the entire desktop into a bin liner with his arm or something?

What's his explanation? How did he break the news to you?

DiscoDonkey · 04/06/2013 22:12

I don't understand how it could have been thrown out. Even if it was thrown away it sounds like you are at the end of your rope here.

cumfy · 04/06/2013 22:24

There was no accident.

Would he get an Oscar for his performance convincing you otherwise ?

SavoyCabbage · 04/06/2013 22:35

It's not like he was the bees knees and he's made a massive mistake. So you wouldn't be leaving him over this one thing.

phantomnamechanger · 04/06/2013 22:41

I know someone who had something similar happen - her DH said they had had a break in and the money from their business for a week (or however long) had been taken from their home while they were out one evening and he had accidentally left the door unlocked. It was in a biscuit tin on the dresser.it did not look like it had £££ in it. Her DH tried to lie and claim that someone just happened to try the door and find it open and them out and just happened without wrecking anything to find a tin full of money in an inconspicuous place? of course as he had left the door open they could not claim any insurance. she did not believe him and they divorced soon after

iamaLeafontheWind · 04/06/2013 22:42

Does he have anything worth £2k? Bike or car?

QOD · 04/06/2013 22:52

Oh man:(

Technotropic · 04/06/2013 22:52

OP

By the sounds of it YHBU for not leaving this plonker ages ago. As a result you're learning the hard way but at least this will hopefully be the catalyst for a new life.

I'm hoping he has actually been a tool and thrown it away as its the better alternative to finding out he's stitched you up.

poorpaws · 04/06/2013 23:04

I'm so sorry but I think he still has it. My ex husband did that to me once and was very convincing but when we eventually split he had a stash of money and of course I didn't.

I don't want to make things worse for you but if your relationship is a little rocky he could be feathering his own nest in case there's a split. I really feel for you OP.

IneedAsockamnesty · 04/06/2013 23:23

When people lose something of value they tend to panic and gut the place looking for it they also tend to keep on doing it over and over again,

They also often whilst seemingly thinking about other things occasionally will randomly get up and go and look somewhere else they often also fret about it retrace steps ect

They very rarely just decide they have thrown it away.

NomDeClavier · 04/06/2013 23:28

Fucking hell.

I also doubt he's chucked it - telling him he needs to sell something to fund the business's deficit might prompt a magical recollection that he in fact put it somewhere safe.

Once this is sorted you have to LTB.

Buzzardbird · 04/06/2013 23:29

pixie is right. How is he acting?

34DD · 04/06/2013 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alwayscheerful · 04/06/2013 23:30

Someone up thread mentioned checking DH's credit history, if you have one of his credit cards enter his details on a website called "Noddle" and you will be able to view his complete credit history. (use your card and you can see if your history is linked to his too).

MinesADecaff · 04/06/2013 23:30

Have you decided what you're going to do OP?

NorksAreMessy · 04/06/2013 23:39

I would be going round in circles looking for an envelope with only £20, and frantic to the point of hyperventilating at the thought of £2000.

Yes people do silly things, and accidents do happen, but humans have an inbuilt incredulity that prevents them acknowledging they have done something impossibly stupid...for AGES.

Another example, I am still looking STILL for a pair of glasses I last saw two years and three house moves ago. I still look in odd handbags and boxes. I cannot make myself believe that I threw them away with the newspaper. And with no actual proof to myself of what actually happened, I don't think I will ever believe that they aren't still SOMEWHERE.

All this self indulgent waffling is me saying 'if it smells like a fish, and looks like a fish...it is FISHY'

Gruntfuttocks · 04/06/2013 23:43

Doesn't sound like things are going to get better any time soon, does it? So sorry. Living with a financially irresponsible partner is a nightmare. Maybe you do need to just cut your losses and get out. Is there anything worth staying for?

IneedAsockamnesty · 04/06/2013 23:52

I tend not to carry around cash so I have no idea what it looks like in a envelope but I do know that having 1k in each bra cup is very very uncomfortable and does stick out weirdly

LayMizzRarb · 05/06/2013 00:24

My DH is legendary for throwing things out. He will see a pile of what he thinks are newspapers magazines etc and scoop the whole lot into the bin without even looking at what is in the pile. Think, Passports, marriage certificate, rent book, old photos when we first lived together. Although I should not have put a newspaper on the table on top of stuff, he should have looked before chucking. Luckily I rescued all our things from the bin once I realised. He did have a passport with a bad tomato stain on it for a couple of years.
This could have so easily have been my DH. There doesn't always need to be a sinister meaning. Some men are just completely fucking gormless And lacking in thought sometimes.

StuntGirl · 05/06/2013 00:28

"I tend not to carry around cash so I have no idea what it looks like in a envelope but I do know that having 1k in each bra cup is very very uncomfortable and does stick out weirdly"

Is this a reference to something I'm missing? Grin

IneedAsockamnesty · 05/06/2013 00:41

Just meaning its a noticeable size it bumped me up visibly by at least a cup.

RiotsNotDiets · 05/06/2013 00:44

I think we're all wondering why you had 2k stuffed in your bra pixie

Are you one of those people whose job it is to fill up cash machines and this is your new method of transportation?

CouthyMow · 05/06/2013 00:56

Look, even the OP doesn't believe he has thrown it away - or accidentally wouldn't have been written as 'accidentally' with the quotation marks around it in the thread title.

I have no clue about this OP's past posts, but what I can surmise from the fact that her DH isn't running around like a headless chicken trying to tear the place up to look for it, and leaving the OP to ring the council etc. is that he is talking utter bollocks.

He's either got the money, or had the money.

Checking Experian and Equifax would be a good start. My next move would be to separate my finances from his. Then I would consult a solicitor.

Because I don't believe for a minute that he has thrown this money away.

I'm not saying the OP must LTB, however, in this situation, with someone who is known to be financially irresponsible, this would be the last straw for me, and would be what I would do...

IneedAsockamnesty · 05/06/2013 07:57

Because I had no pockets or handbag at the time.

Things I would be thinking about

How many times has he dropped notes in the street,I know someone who claims to have done this lots and it usually means he's spent it has come out with a sob story and wants more money.

Does he hide bills ect is he a paperwork ignoring type who relies on you to sort things out.

Even if he had really thrown it away I would be protecting myself and my household from a possible repeat.

LadyMaiBlossom · 05/06/2013 08:06

Ask him to replace the lost money and give him a deadline.