Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave DP over £2000 he 'accidently' threw away with the rubbish?

226 replies

mumstonic · 04/06/2013 16:57

I think this has to be the final straw really.

We run a business. Its a struggle. Just when I think we're finally turning a corner I discover the DP had accidently thrown out an envelope with just over £2000 in it. We were paid by a customer on Friday, the money was due to go into the bank today and now its in a landfill somewhere.

Gutted is an understatement. Just another careless idiotic thing in a long line. I hate running this business, I've had enough and I just want to leave.

OP posts:
Alwayscheerful · 04/06/2013 17:18

I would say he has a gambling problem.

CinnabarRed · 04/06/2013 17:18

Then don't. Put plans in place to leave - get paid employment (you'll be employable given your skills from being your own boss), rent a property and divorce him.

SoupDragon · 04/06/2013 17:19

Who left the money hanging about in an envelope for 4 days?

diplodocus · 04/06/2013 17:19

What are your financial responsibilities WRT the business? Are you a partner? Can you just walk away?

Bearbehind · 04/06/2013 17:19

If you only got the cash on Friday, has it definitely gone to landfill- what day is your bin collection?

Sounds well dodgy to me too.

WeAreEternal · 04/06/2013 17:20

Not long ago I had £1600 in cash (to pay for something I bought on eBay) and it was a pretty chunky envelope.

In your situation I think that would probably be the last straw for me too.

ComtessedeFrouFrou · 04/06/2013 17:22

Even if it was in fifties, that's 40 notes.

I really hate to be suspicious, but that's not a thin flimsy envelope. I would guess it would be the thickness of a notebook and fairly solid, even if it were crisp new notes.

Are you absolutely sure he's chucked it?

Mind you, either way, it would probably be grounds for divorce in my book.

Original poster
mumstonic · 04/06/2013 17:22

I dont think he is a gambler, but yes it is possible he took it, which makes it all the more worse. Then again, what would he use the money for?

OP posts:
SolomanDaisy · 04/06/2013 17:24

Bollocks did he throw a way an envelope with £2k inside. That's a big envelope and a big coincidence for the first time you've ever taken cash.

WallyBantersYoniBox · 04/06/2013 17:24

Where is he now? Is he knee deep in used nappies looking for the envelope in the rubbish dump? Because if I did this to a friend accidentally I would be there trying to see if I could at least try and search for it, or see if they would let me in.

Has he driven down to the depot to ask? Why are you phoning the council? Why not him?

Sorry op I am fuming on your behalf, and totally offer you my sympathies. I have had to deal with a partner not doing a tax return on our behalf, but lying and telling me he did it. I was fined 1400 pounds and had to pay 7000 more than I needed, because they file on your behalf here if you don't, so you can't claim. I am still simmering and furious and trying to find it in my empty coconut husk of a heart to forgive him as father of my son.

Tee2072 · 04/06/2013 17:26

What would he use the money for?

Drugs. Girls. Alcohol. Any number of things other than to pay whatever it was suppose to pay for.

I am not a suspicious person at all but this makes me suspicious.

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/06/2013 17:27

Leave him.

I never usually advocate splitting up but your mental healths worth more than £2000.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 04/06/2013 17:30

What would he use the money for? Well as you've revealed that he's constantly creating financial problems, my guess is he's secretly in debt up to his eyeballs.

At the very least I'd be taking steps to completely separate my finances from his.

Wishiwasanheiress · 04/06/2013 17:30

Sorry but I too find it hard to believe he threw it out. Paying off card debt? Other woman?

You sound very defeated. Wish I could hug u and share glass of wine. Good luck with whatever u decide to do next

mummymeister · 04/06/2013 17:37

feel awful saying this but have to agree with other posters. if he did throw it out then when did he tell you, how does he know he threw it out, how long between the throwing and the telling. he is in debt somewhere. he has taken the money to settle it. we run our own business. if my DH had done this he would be out there with his head torch on sifting through it to find it. Stop worrying about him and this money and start working out how you can get away from someone that makes you so fed up. you know that you deserve better than this so start making plans.

Bobyan · 04/06/2013 17:37

Just read your other posts about him.

Ltb. Seriously.

AnnieLobeseder · 04/06/2013 17:38

If he did take it for himself, and this incident only happened today, he probably hasn't done anything with it yet. Is there any way you can have a sneaky search for it?

Bearbehind · 04/06/2013 17:42

How did he say it happened? Is it remotely feasible?

LEMisdisappointed · 04/06/2013 17:43

If this were a one off then ltb is a bit harsh but he sounds like a twat

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/06/2013 17:43

There's no way the council would allow the public onto a landfill to search. They might have an idea of which 'cell' it's in based on your address, OP, but if it's been tipped in, there's no chance that they'll retrieve it. You could however ask whether it's gone to the litter nets (some councils have these as temporary storage for collected refuse).

Adding a "gutted for you" to the long-list of well-wishers here. So sorry. :(

Alisvolatpropiis · 04/06/2013 17:47

I'd kill him never mind leaving. 10 years to life in prisons would feel like a valid life option if I were in your shoes.

scarletforya · 04/06/2013 17:53

Back story is DP is a class A twat. Selfish, irresponsible, entitled. Living with him is like swimming through treacle. He constantly creates problem after problem, usually of a financial nature and I'm sick of it. I just cant do this anymore.

Then please don't. Don't do it any more. I would be sceptical that he threw it away also. By your description I would suspect he creates financial chaos around you in order to conceal his own selfish spending and confuse you perhaps to keep you 'out of his hair'.

I'm only speculating but he reminds me of someone I used to be with. Always in the middle of some calamity, often several, the harder you try to clean up the mess the more mess he will make.

I think you need to cut your losses both business and personal with this man. It will be a difficult thing but very much worth it to get back control of your own life again without his destructive drama.

kotinka · 04/06/2013 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notmadeofrib · 04/06/2013 17:54

He thinks you're a mug

TheCraicDealer · 04/06/2013 17:54

Why are you till with him? Perhaps he's seen the writing on the wall and this is part of his own "running away fund". Fuck him and the horse he rode on!