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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave DP over £2000 he 'accidently' threw away with the rubbish?

226 replies

mumstonic · 04/06/2013 16:57

I think this has to be the final straw really.

We run a business. Its a struggle. Just when I think we're finally turning a corner I discover the DP had accidently thrown out an envelope with just over £2000 in it. We were paid by a customer on Friday, the money was due to go into the bank today and now its in a landfill somewhere.

Gutted is an understatement. Just another careless idiotic thing in a long line. I hate running this business, I've had enough and I just want to leave.

OP posts:
MortifiedAdams · 04/06/2013 20:09

Sorry but he is bullshitting you.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 04/06/2013 20:13

I've been in a similar situation and it's so very, very hard when you have a business together as well as a relationship - but you need to work out how you are going to separate the two and leave him - it's a nightmare you need to be out of :(

balia · 04/06/2013 20:14

He didn't bin it, and I'll tell you how I know. If ANYONE running their own business lost/binned £2K of the business's money, they would be the one ringing the council in a panic and scrambling about in the landfill, BEFORE they had to admit to their partner that they had done it.

Get out of there.

NotSoNervous · 04/06/2013 20:22

I've never said this on here but I would leave. I don't think he threw it away either. He just picked up a clearly marked envelope and put it in the bin? Erm no.

WetDog · 04/06/2013 20:25

auntmargaret do £100 notes exist? Didn't think they did?

OP - if he's not been on the phone to the council to get knee deep in the landfill site (and they would help you if you called them) then sorry, I don't believe he threw it out.

How and when exactly did he say this happened?

Mixxy · 04/06/2013 20:29

First time you took cash as a payment, huh? Threw it out, huh?

Do yourself a favor, throw him on the scrap heap.

forehead · 04/06/2013 20:31

OP, Your husband 'stole' the money. Simple as.
I couldn't live with a man who would do something like that.

IKnowWhat · 04/06/2013 20:33

It would be extremely stupid but I do think it is possible he threw it away.

I lost something worth £10k. I put it somewhere safe and forgot where I put it. I knew it was in the house but I literally could not remember where I put it. I am not old, or stupid but there was nothing I could do to jog my memory. Fortunately, after days hours of hunting I found it. Thank Fucking Goodness
It can happen and it does happen, even to the best of us Blush

AndHarry · 04/06/2013 20:34

I don't think he chucked it either. I once accidentally posted some important (but not life/death) paperwork of DH's that was lying underneath a pile of letters. Once I'd realised what I'd done I was straight on the phone to Royal Mail, took AL from work to get myself down to the sorting office and then on to the regional depot if needed, in tears and absolutely furious with myself. Luckily the staff at the sorting office found it :)

Fairyegg · 04/06/2013 20:35

How did he react when he realised? What has he done since to try and rectify it?

YonicTheHedgehog · 04/06/2013 20:39

My sister did this once with a couple of thousand, it was in the building society book and she thinks she.threw the whole lot away. She was terrified of telling her now ex H and I don't think she ever did. Only you know your DH and whether its likely that it went in the bin, but it can and does happen.

NachoAddict · 04/06/2013 20:40

I managed to throw our return flight tickets away whilst we were on holiday but even I couldn't throw away two grand in cash. how was he acting and what did he say about how it happened?

apostropheuse · 04/06/2013 20:46

He didn't throw that money out. No way.

If it was common for you to be paid in cash I could possibly understand that these things might happen, but it was very unusual to receive a large cash payment so anyone normal would make bloody sure they put it somewhere very safe and would take it to the bank at the first available opportunity. You just wouldn't accidentally throw it out.

LEMisdisappointed · 04/06/2013 20:47

How did he react? Because if i had lost £2000 i would be sick to my stomach, i would immediately contact DP, probably hysterical and tell him, ask what we were to do etc. I think DP would be exactly the same, im envisioning, head in hand, possible tears, shaking, aggitation and irritability, followed by being resigned and upset. Especially if it was much needed cash.

How did you find out it was missing? Where was it? I have almost thrown £200 away that was in a birthday card, but £200 doesn't take much space. £2000 would be a wedge - Does he not check through letters and stuff before he bins them? It does sound very unlikely but i daresay folk have misplaced more!

Is it just the frustration with the business that is driving you mad or are there other issues in the relationship?

expatinscotland · 04/06/2013 20:49

I think he's in hoc up his eyes and took the money.

GoodbyePorkPie · 04/06/2013 20:51

I'm intrigued by auntmargaret's £100 notes!

OP I think his reaction is really important. Like the others I'm not sure why it was you on the phone to the council. If it was me I would be absolutely beside myself.

Perihelion · 04/06/2013 20:59

Not the point of this, but you still get £100 notes in Scotland.....

ParadiseChick · 04/06/2013 21:01

We have £100 notes in Scotland

ParadiseChick · 04/06/2013 21:03

X post!

I didn't realise you didn't get £100 notes in England

Pixel · 04/06/2013 21:03

Think they have them in Scotland?

Pixel · 04/06/2013 21:03

Oops x post

apostropheuse · 04/06/2013 21:04

Yes we still have £100 notes here in Scotland.

ParadiseChick · 04/06/2013 21:07

Just in case anyone missed it, we still have £100 notes in Scotland.

McNewPants2013 · 04/06/2013 21:11

www.bankofengland.co.uk/banknotes/Pages/current/default.aspx

don't look like £100 note are in england.

cafecito · 04/06/2013 21:12

he did not throw it away, OP