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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have told this couple they were incredibly rude?

137 replies

pinkballetflats · 02/06/2013 14:01

Shopping at Aldi today. Unable to park in mother and child bays - full. 8.5 months pregnant. 8 year old DC with me.

So, my trolly is fully, I'm struggling to keep it under control against differentiating cambers. I get to the car, DC is next to me, space on drivers side is empty. I open boot, give keys to DC, I am stood on drivers side of boot slightly blocking free parking space. I have to lunge to stop the trolly which with it's own mind has decided to start rolling towards the car parked on the passenger side. I become aware that a car is stopped behind my right shoulder and as I've moved to rescue the cart, it pulls in to the space on the driver's side of my car. DC now has the keys and needs to get into the car (the car park is busy, and DC can be a bit impulsive and I'm not leaving him at the back of the car with me while I try to unpack and prevent the trolly from hitting the car on our left. DC struggles with keys, I'm reminding him that there is now a car parked behind him and to be careful opening the door. You can see the female passenger getting impatient. I keep reminding DC to be careful but no...he hits their car with the door. I immediately being to apologise loudly and leave the troly risking it rolling into the car parked on our left.

The woman glares as DC, mouths something at him that I can't hear, I shut the door and quickly get back to the trolly while still apologising. The woman turns towards me, glares, and then turns around again.

At this point I think...fair enough, I'll speak to them when they get out of the car. I start unloading - there is no damage to their car. She get sout - nose quite literally stuck up in the air and I hear him say "You gone on, dear...I'll handle this."

He gets out, and comes around and begins to make a very big fuss of getting down on his knees to carefully inspect the car...running his fingers over the door. I continue to apologise, and he continues to ignore me. Eventually he gets up and walks past me towards the back of his car. I apologise again and turns to me and says how incredibly annoying people like me are who cannot supervise their children correctly. I'm pretty aghast actually - thinking they could see the predicament \I was in. Something snapes and I ask him if he actually is criticising my parenting abilities. He replies yes he is. I reply with "If there was any damage I would have obviously offered ot rectify it." He just walks past me and strolls off....nose in the air.

I left them a note on their windscreen - I pointed out that

a) They had the rest of the car park to choose from
b) They could see I'm heavily pregnant, on my own, with a child in a busy car park and that I was struggling
c) When someone apologises profusely for a mistake they made that a bit of grace goes a long way.

At that point I let my indignation get the better of me and told them them make this world a less pleasurable place to live.

I'm still incensed...

WIBU?

OP posts:
Coconutty · 02/06/2013 14:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rainbowinthesky · 02/06/2013 14:06

Ywnbu.

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong · 02/06/2013 14:06

Coconutty- me too. At speed!!!
Op yanbu!!!

Cailinsalach · 02/06/2013 14:08

I think you were quite reserved and ynbu. Dont let them wind you up.

Fairydogmother · 02/06/2013 14:08

YANBU!

I was sitting in my car once when I woman rammed my door and didn't apologise so you were totally reasonable!

Pity you couldn't have let his tyre down just a little bit lol

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 02/06/2013 14:08

Did you have a carton of eggs in your shopping? Yoghurt, flour? Some nice corrosive household cleaning products?

If so, YABU not to have really gone to town on them and their Twatmobile.

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 02/06/2013 14:09

Oh you were very very calm, I'm afraid I might have done what coconutty said Blush. I'm a bad person!

quesadilla · 02/06/2013 14:10

You actually behaved with restraint and dignity IMHO.

Boomba · 02/06/2013 14:10

Umm....ahh....

I think you were all unreasonable and not unreasonable Confused

It's difficult to envisage what exactly happened...did they pull in really close whilst your dc was getting in? Or did he flung the door open wide?

I think they should have waited for your ds to get in before pulling into the space

I also think they over reacted, if there was no damage done

I think you shouldn't be so affected by them. A simple 'fuck off' would have sufficed

pinkballetflats · 02/06/2013 14:14

Hmm, Boomba.

I fell "fuck off" would have actually been sinking to their level..and yes you're right..I'm probably a bit over sensitive a the moment |They pulled in just as DC had got around the side of the car. He didn't' fling it open, he was careful, but he's only 8...I suppose I could have made him wait there until one of them rolled down the window and I could have asked them to consider the predicament I was and to pull back out until DC was in the car?

Maybe I need to be more assertive? I would never pull into a space where someone was trying to unload with a DC - I'd wait for them to get their DC into the car..but that's just me.

OP posts:
icklemssunshine1 · 02/06/2013 14:19

My blood is boiling on your behalf OP. some people are so rude! You were very dignified, doubt I would have had your patience! Hope you're at home resting plenty now & reasonably calm :)

Kormachameleon · 02/06/2013 14:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Choccywoccydodah · 02/06/2013 14:20

Ywnbu at all! Bloody idiots, they'd have probably parked in the kiddy spaces had there been room. I think you were quite restrained.
People like that drive me mad!!

Snowyelephantshavewrinkles · 02/06/2013 14:23

Na op I would be rather pissed too.

Bearbehind · 02/06/2013 14:23

TBH I think YABU, why should you be allowed your own space and the one next to it?

It sounds to me like you could have either let your son into the car or made him stand with you. He's 8 not 2.

There may have been other spaces available but if the one by you was close to the store, why shouldn't the other couple have parked in it.

I'd have been pissed off if your son had opened the car door into my car.

VBisme · 02/06/2013 14:24

Is there an age limit on these spaces? How young does your child have to be?

How old was the child they had with them?

I'm confused........

Btw accidents happen, created by children and grown ups, I have ocassionally opened a door on someones car, but always check for damage and leave a note with my details.

It has nothing to do with your ability as a parent.

Boomba · 02/06/2013 14:25

Yeah, they should definitely have waited...who would do that, whilst a child was stood there?!

I think your mistake was apologizing at all

They should have apologized

I think 'fuck off' is a very useful and under used phrase

TheFutureMrsB · 02/06/2013 14:26

You were very calm and they deserved a lot more said to them I would be like a raging lunatic!

Longdistance · 02/06/2013 14:27

You should have put

  1. oxygen thieves.
YouStayClassySanDiego · 02/06/2013 14:28

Arf at 'you go on dear, I'll deal with this' what a knob he sounds!

pinkballetflats · 02/06/2013 14:28

As far as I know there isn't an age limit in normal car park spaces?

I'm not asking if I was being unreasonable for wanting two spaces - that thought never occurred to me. I'm asking if I'm being unreasonable for telling them how rude they were when I apologised profusely AFTER they pulled into the space as my DC was trying to get into the car.

And yes, DC is 8 - DC can also be very impulsive (currently undergoing intervention for suspected ADHD) and PEOPLE often take no bloody notice in a car park of what's in front of their own car.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 02/06/2013 14:29

Sounds like a touch of drama all round really

Have a cuppa and try to put it out of your mind

pinkballetflats · 02/06/2013 14:29

Oh and the other couple didn't' have a child with them - retired couple by the looks of it.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 02/06/2013 14:30

If there were other spaces to park in then that should have parked somewhere else.

However, i wouldn't allow my 8 year old (two of my DD's have SN) to stand by, or sit in a car, whilst i struggled.

Get him engaged in helping, unless he is physically disabled then he is old enough to be able to unpack a shopping trolly and hold it whilst you arrange your shopping in the boot.

If he is unable to be careful, so he doesn't damage other people's, very expensive property, then he shouldn't be given control of the car keys.

I hate that some parents think that we should all be happy with their children causing preventable damage.

pinkballetflats · 02/06/2013 14:31

You're right Worra...I don't usually let that kind of thing get to me...it really upset me for some reason...maybe because I wouldn't' dream of not at least accepting someone's very obviously apologetic apology...I don't' know. I think it was their attitude...they seemed to be those kind of people who think they're so much bloody better than everyone else. I'm a bit of a stickler for manners (until I go "bang", occasionally).

OP posts: