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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have told this couple they were incredibly rude?

137 replies

pinkballetflats · 02/06/2013 14:01

Shopping at Aldi today. Unable to park in mother and child bays - full. 8.5 months pregnant. 8 year old DC with me.

So, my trolly is fully, I'm struggling to keep it under control against differentiating cambers. I get to the car, DC is next to me, space on drivers side is empty. I open boot, give keys to DC, I am stood on drivers side of boot slightly blocking free parking space. I have to lunge to stop the trolly which with it's own mind has decided to start rolling towards the car parked on the passenger side. I become aware that a car is stopped behind my right shoulder and as I've moved to rescue the cart, it pulls in to the space on the driver's side of my car. DC now has the keys and needs to get into the car (the car park is busy, and DC can be a bit impulsive and I'm not leaving him at the back of the car with me while I try to unpack and prevent the trolly from hitting the car on our left. DC struggles with keys, I'm reminding him that there is now a car parked behind him and to be careful opening the door. You can see the female passenger getting impatient. I keep reminding DC to be careful but no...he hits their car with the door. I immediately being to apologise loudly and leave the troly risking it rolling into the car parked on our left.

The woman glares as DC, mouths something at him that I can't hear, I shut the door and quickly get back to the trolly while still apologising. The woman turns towards me, glares, and then turns around again.

At this point I think...fair enough, I'll speak to them when they get out of the car. I start unloading - there is no damage to their car. She get sout - nose quite literally stuck up in the air and I hear him say "You gone on, dear...I'll handle this."

He gets out, and comes around and begins to make a very big fuss of getting down on his knees to carefully inspect the car...running his fingers over the door. I continue to apologise, and he continues to ignore me. Eventually he gets up and walks past me towards the back of his car. I apologise again and turns to me and says how incredibly annoying people like me are who cannot supervise their children correctly. I'm pretty aghast actually - thinking they could see the predicament \I was in. Something snapes and I ask him if he actually is criticising my parenting abilities. He replies yes he is. I reply with "If there was any damage I would have obviously offered ot rectify it." He just walks past me and strolls off....nose in the air.

I left them a note on their windscreen - I pointed out that

a) They had the rest of the car park to choose from
b) They could see I'm heavily pregnant, on my own, with a child in a busy car park and that I was struggling
c) When someone apologises profusely for a mistake they made that a bit of grace goes a long way.

At that point I let my indignation get the better of me and told them them make this world a less pleasurable place to live.

I'm still incensed...

WIBU?

OP posts:

MakeGlutenFreeHay · 02/06/2013 15:41

They were rude, and you were a lot more restrained than I would have been.

However, at 8.5 months pg I think maybe you deserve to indulge in a bit of online supermarket shopping! (I know aldi don't do online, but still...).

And why oh why do aldi feel the need to build their car parks on the side of a hill? Ours is the same....trolleys go all over the place!

How you are ok, OP.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 02/06/2013 15:41

Go and have a cup of tea and forget about it. At eight and a half months pregnant, you are entitled to make mistakes / over-react / whatever! In fact, get your dc to put the kettle on! :)

Original poster

pinkballetflats · 02/06/2013 15:49

Gluten - perhaps I should go in and be rude to Aldi for not building their car parks completely flat!!! It is a nightmare car park, and \I should have known better than try to brave it on a Sunday - alas, it's been one of those weeks and was the only day I could get it done before school tomorrow.

OP posts:

alemci · 02/06/2013 16:15

When Im driving about I try to be aware of children. They should have waited to see what your son was doing. What if he had fallen over or something or they had hit him. I wouldn't have driven my car in the space until I was sure he was safe. seems quite dangerous.

isx99 · 02/06/2013 16:27

Perhaps try internet shopping next time. It saves all the hassle!

LouiseSmith · 02/06/2013 18:43

You shoulda said "look mate, Im pregnant and hormonal. Whats your excuse for being a dickhead."

But then I am a bitch lol x

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 02/06/2013 18:49

I think you handled it well. If you'd given in to the temptation to tell them to fuck off, you'd have lost the moral high ground. As it stands, they behaved badly and you came out of there on top (not that it's a competition or owt!).

Next time I would get ds into the car before you start unloading though. My ds2 is similarly impulsive and I wouldn't be able to trust him to stand by the door patiently while I put stuff in the boot. It's just easier all round if I get him in first then faff with bags and the trolley.

LessMissAbs · 02/06/2013 18:54

I doubt they were aware of all those things you mention whilst seeking out a parking space. They simply wouldn't have enough time to notice them.

And I have a number of scratches on my car from people bashing it with their doors or other objects - who knows, all I know is that it was scratchless when I got it, its parked off street and I haven't hit anything. And I have friends whose cars have dents on them from this sort of thing happening.

So I do think you were a little wrapped up in your own world and expecting a little too much of people who were simply trying to park and go shopping without having their property damaged, I doubt they set out to engage in an argument with you.

EuroShaggleton · 02/06/2013 19:01

I'm going against the grain - I think you were being unreasonable. Why did your child have to get in at that point. Why couldn't she have waited until you could make sure she didn't knock the next car.

My car has a number of scratches from careless people in car parks opening doors. Some have even done it when I have been sat in my car! Scratches like this decrease the value. It is very annoying. The bloke sounds like he acted like a bit of a twat towards you, but I can understand why he was irritated.

Cosydressinggown · 02/06/2013 19:01

God, this sounds like the kind of thing my SIL and BIL would do. I dread to think of them out there in society being like this.

Sorry - tangent. YANBU, they were rude, but they will never see it because they're too busy thinking about how bloody important they are. Stupid knobs.

ExcuseTypos · 02/06/2013 19:02

I would never have driven into a space with a person, especially a child, standing right in it. They should have waited for him to open th editor and get in the car.

They sound really stupid and impatient.

PaperSeagull · 02/06/2013 19:03

Much ado about nothing. Everyone involved was rude and unreasonable, IMO. But it doesn't seem worth all the drama. Have a cup of tea and forget about it, OP. Just imagine how much more complicated your next big shopping trip will be: older child plus newborn. . . :)

Original poster

pinkballetflats · 02/06/2013 19:10

Euro, if you read the thread, you can see that I was left in the predicament of a trolly that was wayward because of the slope, I was trying to stop it going into the car next to us on the other side...so I had given DS the car keys to get into the car BECAUSE the space was free and there was no danger of him knocking a car...and then, as DS was heading down the side of the car the people PULLED IN.

I should have told DS to go and wait on the pavement.

Can I please make it CLEAR that |I was extremely apologetic. I realise I made a bad judgement call in simply reminding DS that there was now a car behind him...BUT there was no bloody damage to the vehicle and I was very embarrassed at the fact that damage could have been caused hence the apologising.

Can I also point out I have just as much right to go shopping without having my DS damaged..these people pulled in as DS was making it down the side of the vehicle!

I suppose I could have brought the trolly next to the driver's side to let DS in - thus propping it against the car...but I couldn't' win then could |I either because I'd be one of those self entitled people who thought they owned the car space next to them too.

No harm was done on either side, and yet I was the one berated for being so very irresponsible.

Louise - in a former life I'd have been far less pleasant to him.

OP posts:

flippinada · 02/06/2013 19:13

YANBU. Don't beat yourself up about it - hope you're ok.

And I agree with the advice to go shopping online. Takes away all the hassle :)

Original poster

pinkballetflats · 02/06/2013 19:13

Thanks for that Paper ...my shopping trips are normally extremely uneventful...maybe Lemony Snickett was pulling the strings...

OP posts:

FadedSapphire · 02/06/2013 19:14

YANBU pinkballetflats. They sound like arses of the highest order..
Good note but as self absorbed arses probably wasted on them.
My just 8 year old can hardly walk a few feet without some clumsy episode so I sympathise with the door bang.. you apologised- they were prats.

usualsuspect · 02/06/2013 19:20

Sounds like a lot of drama to me.
I wouldn't have left a note.

Bearbehind · 02/06/2013 19:23

You are not coming across as terribly reasonable OP.

Your son hit someone's car- they weren't happy- you wrote them a stroppy note- end of.

They might have been rude but I'm sure they didn't set out to go to the supermarket and have an arguement.

You can't assume that an empty space next to you will remain so you do whatever is necessary in the circumstances to make life as easy as possible.

Your child is 8 and short of any disability, should have either been able to help you unpack the trolley or get into the car without hitting something else.

FadedSapphire · 02/06/2013 19:27

Trolley rolling, 8 year old dithering- hey pinkballetflats was flustered- natural I think.
Couple lacked empathy and were snotty rather than understanding...

EMUZ · 02/06/2013 19:32

I don't get why they did it. I expect children to jump off the pavement/run in front of my car etc (i treat everyone on the road as if they are idiots) I wouldn't have parked in the space that had a child half stood in it to start with if there were other free spaces

Original poster

pinkballetflats · 02/06/2013 19:40

So in your opinion, Bear...I wasn't unreasonable, becasue what I was asking was AIBU to tell them how rude they were...they were rude, but your own admission.

I've already pointed out that I made a bad error of judgement. I should have told DC to wait on the pavement...

As for 8 year olds and what they should be able to do...everyone is an individual...I'm glad your 8 year old is so adept - mine obviously isn't.

OP posts:

rockybalboa · 02/06/2013 19:42

What a couple of knobs. I love your note, well done!

Bearbehind · 02/06/2013 19:44

Two wrongs don't make a right OP.

You were wrong, they were wrong. They were rude, you were rude.

It's not a competition.

OrangeFireandGoldashes · 02/06/2013 19:45

If it had just been a runaway trolley and your DS I would have said you were a bit U, but nothing an 8.5 month pregnant woman does is unreasonable, short of stamping on kittens.

thebody · 02/06/2013 19:55

I am super careful in car parks especially in school hols as I expect kids to he on the loose.

I wouldn't swing into any space with a kid in it.

They sound a bit stupid and good note op.

Stuff the tea and have one cold glass of wine xx

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