To have told this couple they were incredibly rude?

[pinkballetflats]

Shopping at Aldi today. Unable to park in mother and child bays - full. 8.5 months pregnant. 8 year old DC with me.

So, my trolly is fully, I'm struggling to keep it under control against differentiating cambers. I get to the car, DC is next to me, space on drivers side is empty. I open boot, give keys to DC, I am stood on drivers side of boot slightly blocking free parking space. I have to lunge to stop the trolly which with it's own mind has decided to start rolling towards the car parked on the passenger side. I become aware that a car is stopped behind my right shoulder and as I've moved to rescue the cart, it pulls in to the space on the driver's side of my car. DC now has the keys and needs to get into the car (the car park is busy, and DC can be a bit impulsive and I'm not leaving him at the back of the car with me while I try to unpack and prevent the trolly from hitting the car on our left. DC struggles with keys, I'm reminding him that there is now a car parked behind him and to be careful opening the door. You can see the female passenger getting impatient. I keep reminding DC to be careful but no...he hits their car with the door. I immediately being to apologise loudly and leave the troly risking it rolling into the car parked on our left.

The woman glares as DC, mouths something at him that I can't hear, I shut the door and quickly get back to the trolly while still apologising. The woman turns towards me, glares, and then turns around again.

At this point I think...fair enough, I'll speak to them when they get out of the car. I start unloading - there is no damage to their car. She get sout - nose quite literally stuck up in the air and I hear him say "You gone on, dear...I'll handle this."

He gets out, and comes around and begins to make a very big fuss of getting down on his knees to carefully inspect the car...running his fingers over the door. I continue to apologise, and he continues to ignore me. Eventually he gets up and walks past me towards the back of his car. I apologise again and turns to me and says how incredibly annoying people like me are who cannot supervise their children correctly. I'm pretty aghast actually - thinking they could see the predicament \I was in. Something snapes and I ask him if he actually is criticising my parenting abilities. He replies yes he is. I reply with "If there was any damage I would have obviously offered ot rectify it." He just walks past me and strolls off....nose in the air.

I left them a note on their windscreen - I pointed out that

a) They had the rest of the car park to choose from
b) They could see I'm heavily pregnant, on my own, with a child in a busy car park and that I was struggling
c) When someone apologises profusely for a mistake they made that a bit of grace goes a long way.

At that point I let my indignation get the better of me and told them them make this world a less pleasurable place to live.

I'm still incensed...

WIBU?

They sound rude, but I'd be pretty about having my car (potentially) dented because someone can't cope with a trolley and an 8 year old. It's not massively hard.

YANBU couldn't they have parked elsewhere.

at least you kept your dignity and the note may make them think.

OOH perhaps it wasn't a great idea to give your DS the carkey.

I was in my car in a supermarket car park once and someone bashed my door whilst opening their door and smiled at me. totally unaware. I was too gobsmacked to say anything.

Well I do think that an 8yr old should be able to help/stand still if told/get into a car without damaging another.

So tbh, I do think he had a point.

Plus-why shouldn't he check for damage on his car?

Diddl - thanks for pointing out what an 8 year old should be able to do...

He was welcome to check for damage - I was checking before he even go out (easy to see form about 3 feet away with the angle of light being behind us thus perfect light to show up a dent) of the car because I was concerned - it was the massive show of it and his pretty nasty attitude towards my profuse apologising.

I don't really understand why people think the couple should have parked elsewhere.

I wouldn't think to myself that I shouldn't park next to a eight year old in case he opens the door into my car, because I would assume that an 8 year old would be capable of getting into a car without damaging mine.

I suppose I just don't understand why you sent your "impulsive" child ahead of you with the keys to get in the car.

Or why on seeing the other car & worrying about their car door being hit, you didn't tell your child to come back or wait somewhere safe.

If I was getting in my car and some impatient arse pulled into the parking space next to me while I was doing it, I would be irritated.
Just unnecessary and ill mannered.

Actually though thinking about it, I always told my DC to stand still and wait if someone started faffing about next to them while they were getting in or out of the car.

Right, damage control...I'm going to get some rubber guards on the doors - in case I make a momentary incorrect judgement call whilst being flustered trying to save another vehicle from being damaged by a full trolly - though I doubt I'll ever let DC open the car door again if there is a car next to it - this was a first.

To be fair, DC was already down the side of the car when they pulled in - I'd already made the call to get him into the car seeing as the space was free - it all happened so suddenly - one second the space was free, the next they were behind my shoulder and then into the space whilst I was lunging for the shopping trolly. What I should have done was told DC to go step up onto the pavement - then I wouldn't have found out exactly how rude these people were and wouldn't have given them the opportunity to have a pop at someone else to brighten up their day.

I'm pg with dc3, I can cope with a trolley, a 2yo and a 5yo without hitting another car.

I think your mistake was to trust your 8yo to load themselves in the car when they are not capable of doing so. You should have rested the trolley against your car while you loaded dc and then unloaded the shopping.

That's what I do. 2yo in, 5yo in, shopping in. I can do it in non parent parking spaces with a car either side.

Didl, he wasn't ahead of me...how are you even managing to picture that? How is me standing holding onto the trolly of a 2 door tiny car and DC stood at the end of the door to the drivers side which is only 2 feet away from me and he had crossed around the back of the car so that he was between me and the car letting him go on ahead of me?

I would be an annoyed too OP.

Some people are just mean and obnoxious. I'm pleased you left that note for them.

Sorry I misunderstood where everyone was-but in which case-what a bloody performance!

All this telling him there was a car & be careful-as you said, you should just have got him to stand on the pavement out of the way.

Still, hindsight's a wonderful thing!

I think your 8yo DC hit their car with your car door and they were rightly pee'd off.

A child of that age should be able to get into the car without causing damage to another car. Otherwise you should have put your DC in the car straight away to avoid this type of situation happening.

They were rude not to accept your apology, so really none of you were 'right' in this scenario.

OP, I agree. All the theorising about what else you coukd have done with your DS ignores the fact that only a self obsessed arsehole would have parked next to you in the circs you describe, and then been rude. Do we really not expect common courtesy for heavily pregnant women, let alone a little help and support?

Don't insurance companies advise people involved in any sort of damage to either vehicle not to get involved in a conversation with the other party/discuss what happened/who was or wasn't to blame etc?

In fact if someone hit my car l too would be very reluctant to say 'Oh that's alright don't worry about it' or ilk in case that was later held up as me admitting blame or releasing the other party from any. I wouldn't say anything of the sort until l had thoroughly checked my car either.

You say yourself the car park was pretty full so you really cant expect people to leave a perfectly valid parking space free at the side of you just because you are a pregnant woman with a child with you.

Also you nearly damaged the car on the other side of you aswell so you could have ended up damaging a car on either side of you so l do think YABU to be blaming the behaviour or impatience of others.

It all sounds like a lot of fuss over nothing tbh. They were rude to ignore you but your ds had hit their car. I really don't understand why you are feeling incensed and your note seems an extreme over-reaction and pretty futile anyway. It's not like they are going to think, 'Oh we must be graceful with pregnant ladies in future.' You were all a bit out of order, I think.

I think people should be graceful full stop, Remus.

Tbh I'm struggling to see why you were apologising so 'profusely' if it was, as you suggest, such a non-event.

A simple 'sorry' on behalf of your dc would have sufficed, and if the couple then made a fuss over nothing I would have just rolled my eyes at them.

It's all the apologising from the op which makes me think this isn't the full story. I would like to read the side of the 'rude' couple though!

Why was your Ds getting in the drivers side and not passenger side?
And why was he not helping you unpack the trolley, he is 8 not 2
Tbh I would have been annoyed if he had hit my car door too.

So do I, but a prissy little note isn't going to make them so.

Pretty kitty - I can assure you that is the full story - why on earth would I lie? I have been told I tend to over apologise for things.

Why was DS getting in on the driver's side and not the passenger? Because there was already a car parked on the passenger side if you read the OP, I'd made the call to get him in on the driver's side before they'd pulled in.

I didn't realise you have to make sure your 8 year old has to unpack with you - how helpful my DC is and how capable at various tasks he is isn't really the issue - the issue was did I let it all get the better of me by leaving a note.

I probably did. I just prefer to be nice - you can be nice when someone accidently causes damage to your property (or not in this case, just made the wrong decision which |COULD have damaged their property). You can sort out a situation in a pleasant, non-rude, non-superior way.

Anyway, there you go. I know I made the wrong call - perhaps I'm letting my hormones get to me instead of just accepting that there are asses in the world and no amount of pleasantness and apologising is goign to change that.

You're absolutely right, Remus...was likely a complete waste of 2 minutes of my time and energy. Cup of tea.

hermione the circumstances OP described were hardly unusual - someone with a shopping trolley and a child in a supermarket car park.......

Ach, what a pair of gits. YW really quite restrained. Good note, too.

I find being judged for my parenting skills adds to my stress levels when things are a bit challenging. You'd have to be made of stone not to. I had a situation on the bus recently, when I had two whingey DCs to wrangle and a woman decided to start a running commentary up on my parenting skills right behind me. I just about managed to keep calm enough to settle both DCs and then asked her sweetly if she had children. She didn't. So I asked her what qualified her to offer such useless and unhelpful advice. Apparently watching a lot of Supernanny . She really didn't like the people around us laughing at that .

Have a nice cup of tea and be thankful that you aren't related to those numpties. I feel sorry for their family.