To have told this couple they were incredibly rude?

[pinkballetflats]

Shopping at Aldi today. Unable to park in mother and child bays - full. 8.5 months pregnant. 8 year old DC with me.

So, my trolly is fully, I'm struggling to keep it under control against differentiating cambers. I get to the car, DC is next to me, space on drivers side is empty. I open boot, give keys to DC, I am stood on drivers side of boot slightly blocking free parking space. I have to lunge to stop the trolly which with it's own mind has decided to start rolling towards the car parked on the passenger side. I become aware that a car is stopped behind my right shoulder and as I've moved to rescue the cart, it pulls in to the space on the driver's side of my car. DC now has the keys and needs to get into the car (the car park is busy, and DC can be a bit impulsive and I'm not leaving him at the back of the car with me while I try to unpack and prevent the trolly from hitting the car on our left. DC struggles with keys, I'm reminding him that there is now a car parked behind him and to be careful opening the door. You can see the female passenger getting impatient. I keep reminding DC to be careful but no...he hits their car with the door. I immediately being to apologise loudly and leave the troly risking it rolling into the car parked on our left.

The woman glares as DC, mouths something at him that I can't hear, I shut the door and quickly get back to the trolly while still apologising. The woman turns towards me, glares, and then turns around again.

At this point I think...fair enough, I'll speak to them when they get out of the car. I start unloading - there is no damage to their car. She get sout - nose quite literally stuck up in the air and I hear him say "You gone on, dear...I'll handle this."

He gets out, and comes around and begins to make a very big fuss of getting down on his knees to carefully inspect the car...running his fingers over the door. I continue to apologise, and he continues to ignore me. Eventually he gets up and walks past me towards the back of his car. I apologise again and turns to me and says how incredibly annoying people like me are who cannot supervise their children correctly. I'm pretty aghast actually - thinking they could see the predicament \I was in. Something snapes and I ask him if he actually is criticising my parenting abilities. He replies yes he is. I reply with "If there was any damage I would have obviously offered ot rectify it." He just walks past me and strolls off....nose in the air.

I left them a note on their windscreen - I pointed out that

a) They had the rest of the car park to choose from
b) They could see I'm heavily pregnant, on my own, with a child in a busy car park and that I was struggling
c) When someone apologises profusely for a mistake they made that a bit of grace goes a long way.

At that point I let my indignation get the better of me and told them them make this world a less pleasurable place to live.

I'm still incensed...

WIBU?

Ok. So you couldn't manage the trolley and your DS. Your child opened a door into their car.

Sounds like the man had a point.

I think that the way they acted was rude (although if someone hit my car you can bet your last dollar that I would be inspecting it carefully), and they are in their right to be annoyed that their car got hit. This does not excuse being rude.

But this and DC can be a bit impulsive makes me think that you should have made sure your dc was in the car before unloading the trolley! My dc are 4 & 10 & they are in the car before I unload, for safety sake.

I would never pull into a space where someone was trying to unload with a DC This isn't really workable is it? You can't expect someone to sit & wait while you (as you admit) struggle to get your shopping into your car/then load your kids/while your kids faff with the keys. A queue would likely build up, blocking people going about their day (getting in/out other spaces), so it isn't fair.

You need to manage the situation so the least amount of inconvenience is given to others!

They were rude and there's no excuse for not accepting your apology.

But I can see why they might have been annoyed. They probably thought your 8yr old would just open the door carefully and get in...hence waiting for the space.

Too late now obviously, but I would have made sure your DS pushed the trolley...with you being so heavily pregnant.

Birds, I am NOT happy with DC causing damage that could be preventable. I think that came across with me apologising profusely - immediately realising I'd made the wrong choice. It was their haughty attitude, their complete lack of social grace (given their age), and their pulling into the space when it would have taken a second for DC to get into the car.

they sound special enough for waitrose op
it would annoy me having my car hit by someone else's 8 year old tbh

Oh Worra...there was no way DS could have pushed that trolly - he can steer for toffee and it was heavy - deep basket one filled to the brim - now that would have been an accident waiting to happen. He also has problems with things like bikes and scooters and tripping over his own feet.

Your note or the actions of the driver is all about nothing. However, you know that your son is very impulsive then you should have ensure that he was in the car with the door closed for his safety first.

They were rude and the man shouldn't have commented on your parenting, but you can't expect other people to work around how you'd prefer to do things.

YW and WNBU.

You know your DC is impulsive yet still gave your DC the car keys. You know you are 8.5 months pregnant, it isnt actually always obvious to other people. You knew that your trolley was being difficult, the other driver didnt.

From outside this did possibly look like a child left to fling open a passenger door into the car in the next space while the child's mother faffed about with her shopping making a song and dance about it.

I would want to check for damage before accepting the apology.

At the same time the performance about checking for damage would make my teeth itch. A quick look should be enough.

PEOPLE often take no bloody notice in a car park of what's in front of their own car All the more reason to make sure your kids are safe before doing anything else!

And honestly, the more you day about your DS, the more it sounds like it was pretty likely that he would hit the cat with the door, through no fault of his own.

Not the cat. No cats were harmed.

On the other hand at 8 and a half months with a trolley load of shopping I would probably have shouted or cried at the man. Or both.

Sorry but I'm almost in tears here at the thought of him 'hitting a cat' with the door

You have admitted the car park was busy so why should they wait for you to sort yourself out.

You said you were aware of the car on your shoulder after you'd given your son the car keys so he should have had time to open the door and get in before they parked if he'd done it straight away.

You said you know you made the wrong choice so just let it go. Your son hit their car, they were not happy about it and reacted and then you left them an obnoxious note- I think you are about quits with them.

The whole thing could have been avoided if they had simply waited for the child to get into the car, as any sensible person would.
YANBU at all but some people have a very inflated sense of their own importance. Also some people who don't have DC have a bone to pick with those who do, on the imaginary ground that the world is set up to cater to families, thereby inconveniencing them. I wouldn't give it another thought.

I'd have been down there checking for damage before the owner, not just loading in the shopping as if I didn't care. I'd have been livid with my son for doing something so thoughtless and would want the owner of the bumped car to know that.

If my car had been bumped, I'd have been pissed off, but I wouldn't try to make the child's mother feel like an idiot and I'd have let it go as soon as I had found no damage.

You were both a bit unreasonable I think.

Justfornow - what should I have done? Honestly. I'm stuck holding a trolly that's threatening to roll into another car, and \I've already had to stop it once and the couple have pulled into the bay before DC has had a chance to open the car door.

Maybe I should have told DC to walk towards the pavement and say there until I could secure the cart and get to him. I suppose that could have been a better idea.

he didn't fling the door open, he was pretty careful.

I made the wrong call - I'm not questioning that. I think I pointed that out to them by apologising at LEAST half a dozen times whilst being ceremoniously ignored until the final apology - THAT is what bothered me.

I couldn't get down there and check! I was holding onto the full trolly that had already almost rolled into another car. And even if I could have...there's now way at 8 months pregnant that I could have gotten down there - however, I do have good eyesight and at 3 feet away I could see that there was no damage.

I wasn't loading the sopping as if I didn't care, I kept on saying how sorry I was - though the icy glare from the woman didn't help - As
soon as she got out of the car I kept on apologising - to be ignored, and then subsequently ignore by her DH when he got out and came to be less than 3 feet away from me. I made it VERY obvious I DID care.

your dc is 8, work on him helping you more.

ds(9), has been holding and helping to steer the front of the trolley for me when its heavy and full for a long time now. He helps hold the trolley (or he puts the trolley brakes on/off) when I'm unloading to make sure it doesn't bump mine or any other cars. He has recently become much more traffic aware and now takes the trolley to a nearby trolley park (under my watchful eye).

He likes coming shopping as he knows I need his help rather than just having to be there because I am. Little bits of responsibility is great at that age and so is a useful extra pair of little hands.

I would need to have seen how close the car was and know how careful your ds was to decide whether I would have let him open the car door, but misjudging your ds's ability and/or accidents do happen and you did apologise/offer to rectify if there as any damage so YADNBU.

Oh God, Worra...can you imagine if they did have a pet with hem and he'd hit it?

I would not have let my impulsive 8 year old have the car keys to let himself into the car. It was an accident waiting to happen and I would have been very annoyed if my car had been hit with your door.

I think the couple made too much of it, but, you know what is going on in your life, you don't know what is going on in theirs.

You were in the wrong so should not have left a note.

No animals were harmed in the making of this thread

Honestly? I think that if your DS has issues it would be better to put him in the car ASAP or as you said, have him wait somewhere safe. But you already know that. And there was no need for the man to be so rude about it.

Yabu to have kept on aplogising mire than twice tops.
Say it once ane leave it at that.

Those twats obviously enjoy bullying pregnant women.

Yanbu to feel superior to them, so get on with it

X

You apologised whether you were in the right or wrong , you showed concern , they were rude not to reply .