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AIBU?

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Original poster

What was wrong with DD"s birthday food?

551 replies

TeapotsInJune · 01/06/2013 18:18

My DD is two and I held a very small garden party/picnic. I am vegetarian and will not be buying meat for my daughter but I of course don't mind if other people eat meat! However, I personally won't buy it.

So for the food we had a couple of tables in the garden with egg and cheese sandwiches, salad, crisps, jelly, strawberries, raspberries and blueberries and apple juice and sparkling grape juice to drink, plus iced water. I also had ice cream to go with the jelly but that wasn't out!

I then had a text from one of the women who is more the friend of a friend saying "not being funny but u obviously make ur choices but u shouldn't expect em to b made by others luv kids where dead hungry when they got in."

I am pretty cheesed off actually! That was my daughters birthday - it isn't as if I marched around snatching burgers off the children! Was the food I provided okay? I thought it was ...

OP posts:
MrBloomsMarrow · 03/06/2013 10:56

The strangest kids' party fayre I ever encountered was when birthday child's DM seemed to forget that it was actually children she was meant to be catering for. The spread consisted of things like mushroom vol au vents, Stilton tarts with onion marmalade, anchovy pâté and sautéed chicken livers in mustard sauce (!). The DCs were THREE!
All you could hear was the DCs saying "what's that?" Followed by the few that actually tried some saying "ugh YUCK!" or "I feel sick"

FrauMoose · 03/06/2013 11:07

My impression is that it is quite an English thing - perhaps encouraged by the manufacturers of processed food - to have different 'only for kids' food.

I did sometimes do fish fingers for my child, but I wouldn't serve her anything that I wasn't prepared to eat myself - and even when she was very small (eating mainly purees etc) she was encouraged to try stuff the rest of us were having. Although all children have preferences, and not all will be adventurous eaters, it did mean I had a child who coped reasonably well at other people's houses, parties etc.

ephemeralfairy · 03/06/2013 11:13

Jeez, do lots of kids really not eat egg sandwiches?? They were my favourites when I was wee. OP, ignore the thicko 'friend'. It's not your problem if she is raising her kids to have issues with food when they're older.

ZolaBuddleia · 03/06/2013 11:41

FraMoose has hit the nail on the head, the daft bint clearly thinks that food for children and food for grown ups are two different things.

MrBloomsMarrow · 03/06/2013 11:57

Ok, so you would expect 3 year olds to eat onion marmalade and anchovy pâté? (See my post above). Genuine question btw.

5madthings · 03/06/2013 12:05

Why wouldn't they mrbloom? If its something they have had before, our five all had the same as us from weaning at 6mths, including stuff like onion marmalade, anchovies and pate etc. They eat stuff I don't like such as olives and mushrooms.

There is nothing about the foods you mentioned that makes them unsuitable for children.

Toadinthehole · 03/06/2013 12:52

I'd expect the average 3-year old child to spit it out.

But that's because the average 3-year old will have been given all sorts of rubbish, because of the received wisdom that all children are naturally fussy eaters who only like sweets and crisps and other similar shit. In English-speaking countries, at least.

mummytime · 03/06/2013 12:55

For a kids party you normally give them food that most children like. So no I wouldn't serve Vol-au-vents etc.
I have to say that Olives do seem to be normal children's fayre, as they were the fastest thing to go at the last children's party I held.

OP actually my children probably wouldn't have eaten the sandwiches much (only 1 liked Egg). Next time I would make sure there were some plain rolls, or slices of French bread for them to fill up on. But I have had parties where very little food is eaten as the kids were having too much fun playing.

Boosiehs · 03/06/2013 12:55

my dnephew (4) loves branston pickle and onion marmalade, and olives and pesto etc.

I don't see why kids should only eat bland food. FAOD I am not talking about piling their food full of salt - obviously.

Fillyjonk75 · 03/06/2013 13:08

The party menu sounds lovely. I would just add some fairy cakes but other than that it sounds great. And so what if they do come home hungry? What a rude text.

DD1 has been to playcentre parties with the most revolting reheated processed muck and she hardly ate anything (at her choice) but she still had a great time and ate properly when she got home. She has been to parties where she barely drank anything as only fizzy drinks were on offer. Not a big deal.

I went way OTT with food at DD1's 3rd birthday but the adults all polished it off. One thing I have learned about sandwiches for little ones is think of a sensible number to make, then halve it. There will still be some left over.

mummytime · 03/06/2013 13:09

There is a difference between what you give children for dinner etc. and what you serve at a party. My DS ate curry at nursery, I wouldn't serve it at a kids party as other children might not eat it.

BoffinMum · 03/06/2013 13:47

It's very MC to put it on MN and for there to be 487 messages about it.

StrawberryTot · 03/06/2013 14:15

YANBU to be cheesed off by the message, but I do think YABU to not put a small meat option even if it was just a bowl of cocktail sausages. You would want a veggie option supplied for your daughter if she was to attend a friends party.
Ps I'm a vegetarian.

allmycats · 03/06/2013 14:17

Your menu was lovely - the person sending the text was rude and ungrateful.

forevergreek · 03/06/2013 14:19

Mrbloom- yep I would offer all of those things. Sure one child might not like onion marmalade but another might. Or one would eat the pate and the other wouldn't.

I can't actually see any strange from that list. Red Onion tarts are basically like quiche, mine would eat that. Pâté they have on toast and crackers etc... We have also always just given food. Not kids or adults food, never knew there was a difference.

We had a basic lunch with friends yesterday. Few kids 0-5 years and adults. Cheese board, cured hams, salad, sourdough, chutneys and pickles, beetroot. Fruit salad after. Everyone found something they liked and I think most had a good mixture. Even 7 month old had a go at some bread, fresh beetroot and kiwi and mango from salad.

UptheChimney · 03/06/2013 21:53

Why is being middle class such a terrible thing?

and I think fraumoose us into something with English people and children's food. I've seen Grman and French children eat olives like sweeties, as well as sourkraut and salami or pate.

Your menu sounded really nice, OP. that was a rude and illiterate text you were sent.

Flossie82 · 03/06/2013 22:25

StrawberryTot - what a bizarre thing to say. Why is a meat option necessary?

A vegetarian option is needed, because a vegetarian can't eat the meat.

A meat option is not required - meat eaters can eat the vegetarian food.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 03/06/2013 22:34

strawberry do you not think that at age two, when she won't know to ask or check or understand y something is being taken off her or why mummy is hovering over her, that its a bit mean to be putting things out that she can't eat at her own party????

A buffet doesn't suddenly become inedible because there's no meat along side the food.

QuintessentialOldDear · 03/06/2013 22:39

Why should the OP be obliged to serve birthday cake, when there were no birthday presents?

piprabbit · 03/06/2013 23:15

Woman was rude.

Birthday food is not a meal aiming to fill bellies, it is fun and frivolity. But it does usually include cake (even if it is wrapped in a sticky napkin for later).

OxfordBags · 03/06/2013 23:21

There must doesn't need to be a meat option at any party. What a load of crap. I say that as a meat-eater. Providing for veggies is completely different, as meat-eaters can eat anything vegetarian but not vice versa. And frankly, I don't fancy the idea of children eating meaty stuff that might have been sitting around on the party table in the heat for ages!

FreyaSnow · 03/06/2013 23:21

I cannot believe a thread about somebody serving cheese sandwiches to toddlers has got to nearly 500 posts, or that a cheese sandwich is being seen as a health food too unusual for toddlers to deal with.

A cheese sandwich!

tallwivglasses · 03/06/2013 23:43

Has nobody picked up on my point? This isn't about cheese sandwiches! The woman feels threatened by the OP!

It's clear from OP's descrition it wasn't a proper birthday bash (hence no presents or cake), more of an excuse to enjoy the rare nice weather.

It took place between lunch and teatime - hence the perfectly adequate but not over-the-top spread. The children all had a lovely time in a garden that I'd hazard a guess was nicer than meanwoman's. I'm sure the adults had a great time too - all threatening to a queen bee-type.

OP, you wisely did not respond to the first text so her second was contrite. She's getting the measure of you - you're not to be messed with. She realises it's wiser to have you onside. I doubt if she's bad-mouthing you now. Rather she'll try and groom you to be her new bestfriend. Haha! (sorry)

tallwivglasses · 03/06/2013 23:48

And I think you're showing remarkable patience in the face of all the criticism and challenges you've received in this thread

veggies rule Wink

FreyaSnow · 03/06/2013 23:52

Veggies, forcing such exotic and novel items as cheese sandwiches on to innocent children in the name of their crazed hippie lifestyle. It's too healthy! No child could ever eat such an overload of vitamins!