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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What was wrong with DD"s birthday food?

551 replies

TeapotsInJune · 01/06/2013 18:18

My DD is two and I held a very small garden party/picnic. I am vegetarian and will not be buying meat for my daughter but I of course don't mind if other people eat meat! However, I personally won't buy it.

So for the food we had a couple of tables in the garden with egg and cheese sandwiches, salad, crisps, jelly, strawberries, raspberries and blueberries and apple juice and sparkling grape juice to drink, plus iced water. I also had ice cream to go with the jelly but that wasn't out!

I then had a text from one of the women who is more the friend of a friend saying "not being funny but u obviously make ur choices but u shouldn't expect em to b made by others luv kids where dead hungry when they got in."

I am pretty cheesed off actually! That was my daughters birthday - it isn't as if I marched around snatching burgers off the children! Was the food I provided okay? I thought it was ...

OP posts:
ParadiseChick · 02/06/2013 11:11

I say silent players on the way to parties hoping for cheese sandwiches.

ballstoit · 02/06/2013 11:13

The woman is very rude. My 3 DC have varied tastes, ds loves salad, dd1 likes to get her junk in when she gets the chance, dd2 is a carbaholic, they all love fruit, but would all have had plenty of lunch.

And even if they hadn't, that would be my issue not the hosts.

Did the 'guest' bring your dad a gift? I'd be tempted to send a similar response eg 'not being funny but dd doesn't really plays with pink, plastic tat'. But that's probably not the way forward.

pumpkinsweetie · 02/06/2013 11:16

Very rude and tbh meat isn't normally served at a children's party anyway.
My children who are meat eaters would have loved your spread, so would many others.
This was your dc party not hers fgs, it's up to you what you serve up !

HibiscusIsland · 02/06/2013 11:18

Why would the guest bring the OP's dad a gift? Wink Grin

cory · 02/06/2013 11:20

Good heavens I've just realised that though we are a household of enthusiastic meat eaters, we never really thought about catering for meat eaters at dc's parties. Typical party food chez cory would have been:

cheese sandwiches, jam sandwiches, cherry tomatoes, cucumber wedges, doritos, crisps, cheezy whotsits, biscuits, cake, and squash.

It's taken me 18 pages of AIBU- 10 years too late- to realise that all these years we've been making some kind of vegetarian statement! Shock

And there I was thinking we'd just got together an assortment of the kind of things that kids eat at parties. I don't think any of our friends twigged either that this was a vegetarian selection. You do learn a lot from Mumsnet. Confused

JenaiMorris · 02/06/2013 11:20

I hate to say it, but the juice is probably worse for toddlers teeth than a bit of cake.

There was nothing wrong with the tea you served OP. A bit everyday for a birthday tea, but that's fine.

Text woman sounds a bit odd.

Original poster
TeapotsInJune · 02/06/2013 11:43

Hibiscus -WE DID NOT HAVE CAKE! Sorry for the capitals but honestly ....

We are going out today, to a restaurant, where DD will have cake. No cake yesterday. At all! No cake! None!

OP posts:
Bobyan · 02/06/2013 11:45

No cake or meat? You're such a bitch Wink

ToomuchIsBackOnBootcamp · 02/06/2013 11:52

18 pages about picnic/party food, wow. Smile

Love your reply to her second text, OP, I just wonder if perhaps she reads Mumsnet and has thought uh-oh. Rude lady texter, if you are reading this, yes we all think you are horrible, ner ner ner ner ner.

Original poster
TeapotsInJune · 02/06/2013 11:53

Haha! Off out now where cake shall be consumed in great quantities by me Grin

OP posts:
Gibbous · 02/06/2013 12:00

How incredibly ironic that she is accusing you of pandering to others' needs when it the pickiness of her kids that's the issue! I understand not all two-year-olds are going to like either egg or cheese but you shouldn't have to cater for all the exceptions. If that was my son I'd have been embarrassed he didn't like the food. It was hardly caviar, olives and avocado.

Maybe you should point this out by texting back: "You're welcome. And I do hope your kids get over their fussy stage and can appreciate a lovely spread like all the others did."

Gibbous · 02/06/2013 12:01

Whoops sorry, posted before reading through properly. Will now go and do that Blush

Gibbous · 02/06/2013 12:08

Shocked at all the entitled carping about cake!

fuzzpig · 02/06/2013 13:23

What a rude cow. Sounds like a queen bee trying to put you in your place. I too wondered if she has read the thread and that's why she sent the second text...

Your food sounds fab. My DCs would hoover the lot. Very generous of you to provide berries - they are expensive! (I can't get to the market so use supermarkets)

Anyway it wasn't even a mealtime FFS, your food was more than enough for a mid afternoon snack. And what the jeff is wrong with a cheese sandwich?!

DD's party is in a few weeks, around 12 5/6 year olds, but it probably will be around a mealtime (after the required running around of course) what should I serve?!

jellybeans · 02/06/2013 13:26

I would just be grateful for what was provided. Your food sounds great btw. She sounds a cheeky so and so. You always get one I guess! Ignore!

HibiscusIsland · 02/06/2013 15:05

OP I know you did not provide birthday cake. There's no need to shout. You asked in AIBU "What was wrong with DD"s birthday food?" "Was the food I provided okay? I thought it was." People have on the whole replied that the woman was very unreasonable and your food sounded lovely but that birthday cake would have been nice too. Why post in AIBU if you don't want suggestions?

Original poster
TeapotsInJune · 02/06/2013 15:15

Hibiscus, sorry, it was intended as an emphasis rather than actual shouting, but to be fair if you knew I hadn't provided cake, why did you say it was unreasonable for me not to serve cake and give it all to DD? That made it sound as if I had a lovely birthday cake hidden away from the other kids, and I didn't!

Why post here? Well, because I was upset (I'm not now, have got over it) but I didn't say anything about cake, did i? The thread wasn't 'aibu not to serve cake at a small picnic for two year olds birthday?' if it had been fair enough but as it was, there was no cake and I was getting a little tired of explaining that!

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 02/06/2013 17:02

I'm not veggie, but I don't do meat at parties.

Because I refuse to serve cheep ham and and am too tight to pay out for expensive ham -which will probably just get thrown on the floor--

I also don't serve cocktail sausages because I don't like sausages, especially cold ones. And don't get me started on pork pies and scotch eggs.

I wonder if people bitch about me behind my back after the party. Confused

HibiscusIsland · 02/06/2013 17:23

to be fair if you knew I hadn't provided cake, why did you say it was unreasonable for me not to serve cake and give it all to DD?

I didn't say you were unreasonable, I said "Nothing wrong with your party food. Only thing I would have done differently is share party cake with guests rather than keeping it for your dd to eat after the party."

This was in response to you writing "DD had ice cream yesterday, cake today and cake tomorrow" so i assumed you had a birthday cake at home.

OrangeFireandGoldashes · 02/06/2013 18:27

OP, your party snacks sound fine. From the "choices" comment in the original text, this woman appears to have an issue with vegetarians and is rude enough to express it. That's her problem, not yours. Don't lose any more sleep over it.

LouiseSmith · 02/06/2013 18:33

It sounds fine. Don't worry.

She just sounds mardy because she was hoping to get away with not feeding them.

Hope your daughter had a lovely party :)

Alisvolatpropiis · 02/06/2013 18:38

The food was fine. She is a rude bitch! Christ! Can't imagine how entitled she must behaved on a day to day basis!

I migh have wept myself at there being no sausage rolls for me to eat though Grin

As others have said next year,definitely do not invite that woman and maybe have breadsticks (the cheese one seem well loved) and pizzas rather than sandwiches,with a few cakes. Maybe even some veggie sausages? I'm very much a meat eater but do like a veggie sausages!

mathanxiety · 02/06/2013 19:18

OP to be perfectly honest I've got better things to do with my time than waste it buying or making fattening, sugary food for ungrateful children and their families!

But you may have missed the point of 'two year old's birthday gathering' in sticking pretty rigidly to your idea of what was suitable.

What I am seeing here is someone who deliberately decided not to get into the spirit of 'birthday celebration', expressed in many details from the sugar free drinks to the lack of cake, but still decided to invite people to a birthday tea or small picnic or whatever sort of get together it was.

If you really think you have better things to do with your time then why have a birthday party for a two year old in the first place? She is not going to remember it and neither will the other children who were there.

mathanxiety · 02/06/2013 19:21

Depending on what time the party was, I don't think it's at all unreasonable for parents to expect not to have to have a Plan B meal ready for hungry children afterwards. If you called it a birthday tea and invited me, I would expect not to have to feed a meal to the family when we got home.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 02/06/2013 19:31

OP your thread title was "what was wrong with dd's birthday food?"(so and a few people have answered that with "IMO what was wrong was that there was no cake" so to be fair tbe cake comments are direct answers to your thread title! ;)

Maths you say "depending what time it was" but the OP said it was 2pm, not a meal time, and lots of posters refered back to that so your lone voice arguing she shold have provided dinner seems a bit misplaced cake though would have been conventional and is a surprising omission ;)