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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What was wrong with DD"s birthday food?

551 replies

TeapotsInJune · 01/06/2013 18:18

My DD is two and I held a very small garden party/picnic. I am vegetarian and will not be buying meat for my daughter but I of course don't mind if other people eat meat! However, I personally won't buy it.

So for the food we had a couple of tables in the garden with egg and cheese sandwiches, salad, crisps, jelly, strawberries, raspberries and blueberries and apple juice and sparkling grape juice to drink, plus iced water. I also had ice cream to go with the jelly but that wasn't out!

I then had a text from one of the women who is more the friend of a friend saying "not being funny but u obviously make ur choices but u shouldn't expect em to b made by others luv kids where dead hungry when they got in."

I am pretty cheesed off actually! That was my daughters birthday - it isn't as if I marched around snatching burgers off the children! Was the food I provided okay? I thought it was ...

OP posts:
ShadowStorm · 01/06/2013 22:46

You can buy vegetarian jelly.

A quick google pulled up this Holland and Barrett vegetarian jelly crystals

StuntGirl · 01/06/2013 22:49

I buy vegetarian jelly from Morrisons, it's not hard to find. It's this kind of nastiness that the text was doing as well. People take a perverse pleasure in trying to 'trip up' vegetarians or make them feel bad for their choices.

OP I think your menu sounds lovely, will you throw a party for me? :) I would ignore the text, she isn't worth your time.

Original poster
TeapotsInJune · 01/06/2013 22:55

Thanks. Sorry, am being silly. I'm not even a preachy vegetarian, I just am one, if that makes sense.

Dd says 'nagga-nay-eee-umm" Grin

OP posts:
maidmarian2012 · 01/06/2013 22:59

Her manners are appalling. How dare she text you? I'm afraid I would have bloody rang her and told her so. I couldn't have helped myself. She should have texted

Thankyou for inviting us to your DD party today, it was very nice

Youv no chance, she sounds a right dickhead Angry

chocoluvva · 01/06/2013 22:59

Your food was in no way weird or not mainstream.

How lovely to have a gathering for your toddler in your garden on a sunny day.

Nobody needs to be eating anything remotely substantial in the afternoon. If any of the children were so fussy that they came away hungry then they could go home and have some tea surely. If they were terribly hungry and fussy they could have eaten the top slice of bread from the sandwiches.

Please don't give this woman's text a second thought. She sounds very odd. I wouldn't bother replying - if need be I'd pretend I hadn't seen it.

Hope your DD had a lovely afternoon.

bailo · 01/06/2013 23:00

I wouldn't have said anything but I'd find the choice of food quite poor, my 4 year old won't touch berries (despite scoffing them all the time 2 years ago) and probably wouldn't eat sandwich with egg in. Which leaves jelly and crisps which is a poor meal. A few more types of sandwich would probably be a good idea.

ComtessedeFrouFrou · 01/06/2013 23:01

Do you know what? If you had served pizza, some child would have turned its nose up because it wasn't like the pizza they normally had. A lot of kids are fussy, particularly two year olds because the sun is shining, or not shining or because there is a D in the day of the week.

Also, I wasn't aware the point of a birthday tea was to actually get fed (don't most toddlers have lunch at 12 on the dot anyway?). The point is to fill up on things you don't normally get free rein on (like berries and jelly, yum).

Since when was meat an essential food group? Confused

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 01/06/2013 23:07

Woah - I was posting in support of you!!

Somebody posted further up saying jelly had animal products, as if hoping to catch you out, and so I just posted to say that I was fairly certain you would have been aware of that.

I have only been supportive of you on this thread. :)

Original poster
TeapotsInJune · 01/06/2013 23:11

Sorry, don :) Grin Please accept my apology x

OP posts:
DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 01/06/2013 23:15

Of course!

My DC would have MORE than happy with that spread.

You are never going to please everyone, so you might as well just please yourself. And your DD. Wink

Best to learn this lesson - in relation to parenting - quick smart! Grin

pigletmania · 01/06/2013 23:19

Bailo the party was at 2pm so the Chidren should have eaten lunch befre they came, it was too early for tea. The op was therefore quite generous in the food she provided, seeing ad snacks are usually eten between meals!

pigletmania · 01/06/2013 23:22

Also bailo thats your problem if your ds is a fussy eater, not the party hosts! He will soon eat if he's hungry I am sure

StuntGirl · 01/06/2013 23:25

I would never expect a children's party to be a 'meal'. Perhaps that's where these other people are going wrong.

DebsMorgan · 01/06/2013 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5madthings · 01/06/2013 23:30

My five would have been more than happy with that.

I may have had some pizza/quiche and cocktail sausages as well, purely be cause we are not veggies and my boys can eat for England.

I would find no cake at a bdag party odd, but you had a pudding and jelly and ice cream is a classic well loved pudding.

Your food was fine, it sounds like a lovely time was had apart from rude cow who should be ignored

I hope your dd had a lovely time and happy birthday to her :)

bigkidsdidit · 01/06/2013 23:34

in what world are crisps, sandwiches, juice and ice cream not normal party food? Confused

I think it sounds lovely. We went to a very similar party last weekend and it was great. DS was starving when we came home but that's because he was too busy playing (they had a tent!) to eat.

Fairypants · 01/06/2013 23:36

I remember my dd's early parties being the most tricky for trying to get the right balance between mainstream so the kids will have tried the food but healthy cos I was scared of being judged by the other parents. It sounds like you did much better than me!
I think she likes to be queen bee and doesn't like that you put on such a good spread and has therefore sent you a text to let you know that she is the experienced parent and you know nothing and are rubbish. I've come across some of these and have to say they are generally saddo's.
Clearly it is not worth making a fuss at her awful behaviour but, assuming she has older kids (which gives her the 'experience' to be bossy) she would loose her influence if she came across as being mean to the newer mother. She will be constrained to sound nice (if patronising) in front of the other mums so just leave her to her own little world.
On the subject of cake, I gather op didn't think of this as a
'Party' and obviously made this clear as no-one considered it necessary to bring presents. I wouldn't expect cake at any event I didn't expect to bring a present so clearly the type of event was communicated.

RedToothBrush · 01/06/2013 23:36

Now if you were an evil cow, and she really is one of those influencial types... you'd pick the other most influencial woman in the circle and burst into tears about how your so mortified at how the poor little children went hungry and show they the rude text...

...thing is you don't sound like an evil bitch somewhat unfortunately for the rest of us and the sake of this thread!

Summerblaze · 01/06/2013 23:36

If I had arrived at your party, I wouldn't have known you were vege's by the food. I have had similar at parties where I have known the hosts ate meat.

I am not a vegetarian but I still prepare vegetarian meals sometimes as I like them.

Woman was rude, rude, rude.

TinBox · 01/06/2013 23:40

She is obviously very rude. I agree that you should ignore her text.

But I wouldn't provide egg or cheese sandwiches for little children. Egg and cheese sandwiches are always the ones left over on a sandwich tray when adult are eating them, and I can't see toddlers going for them at all. And apart from the sandwiches there wasn't really much food there - just crisps and berries and jelly.

I don't think a kids party normally means a full-on meal or buffet, but it is typical to have snack food - and there wasn't really much apart from the sandwiches.

In a vegetarian snack selection it might be good to have some more substantial items, apart from sandwiches, like sweet potato wedges, nachos with guacamole, falafel. Finger food, but filling.

Oldandcobwebby · 01/06/2013 23:42

That sounds a lovely spread for a garden party. Can I come to the next one you hold? I promise I would send you a really nice text thanking you for your hospitality. Your acquaintance is an truly nasty person, who clearly didn't deserve your invitation.

frogspoon · 01/06/2013 23:44

In a vegetarian snack selection it might be good to have some more substantial items, apart from sandwiches, like sweet potato wedges, nachos with guacamole, falafel.

I doubt a fussy 2-year old who turns down egg sandwiches would be be that interested in falafel either.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 01/06/2013 23:49

like sweet potato wedges, nachos with guacamole, falafel. Finger food, but filling.

Oh, come on...! Grin

This is 2-year olds, we're talking about...!!

ArbitraryUsername · 01/06/2013 23:50

I find it utterly amazing that anyone really expects a 'party tea' at a toddler birthday party to constitute an actual meal, and would complain that a host hadn't catered to the particular fussiness of their toddler. Confused

I expect DS2 to eat his weight in utter crap at parties (and he does). I might encourage him to put a sandwich on his plate, but I know he just wants the crisps and fairy cakes.

YABU on the cake though Grin. There must be cake at parties. It's the law. Ideally there should be fairy cakes and proper birthday cake.

chubbychipmonk · 01/06/2013 23:52

What a complete & utter arsehole!

Happy birthday to your DD . .dont give this selfish rude cow another thought!

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