What was wrong with DD"s birthday food?

[TeapotsInJune]

My DD is two and I held a very small garden party/picnic. I am vegetarian and will not be buying meat for my daughter but I of course don't mind if other people eat meat! However, I personally won't buy it.

So for the food we had a couple of tables in the garden with egg and cheese sandwiches, salad, crisps, jelly, strawberries, raspberries and blueberries and apple juice and sparkling grape juice to drink, plus iced water. I also had ice cream to go with the jelly but that wasn't out!

I then had a text from one of the women who is more the friend of a friend saying "not being funny but u obviously make ur choices but u shouldn't expect em to b made by others luv kids where dead hungry when they got in."

I am pretty cheesed off actually! That was my daughters birthday - it isn't as if I marched around snatching burgers off the children! Was the food I provided okay? I thought it was ...

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the food you provided, the woman is just plain rude.

Sometimes my kids eat loads at a party, sometimes not much. Nothing to do with the food at the party, sometimes they are too busy having fun to eat. It wouldn't bother me at all if it was solely vegetarian food either.

So I feed them when we get home. It's hardly difficult.

Maybe she was expecting a sumptuous 3 course meal for her precious darling.

Never mind the cakelessness, I've just spotted a far more important omission

No froot shoots?

No wonder the 'friend o.a.f ' was upset.

I can eat cake in any weather. I don't think you can assume that everyone is the same as you. You've surely seen people eat cake past april.

But I think it's completely up to you whether to serve cake or not. And would certainly not complain.

Have you text her back?

Was your jelly vegetarian, btw?

Because usually it is made of horses' hooves and/or pigs' trotters.

Just asking like . . .

Op yabvvvvvvu regarding cake. Cake is fine in all weathers. It was nt particularly hot today

So it was basically a play date with a loose birthday theme? (I can't believe they didn't bring presents and/or a card!)

I would be tempted to text back "OMG, I didn't realise your kids hadn't had lunch before the play date! You should have let me know and I would have found them mung beans something if they were starving. Everyone else loved the snack time treats. xxx"

But she wants the attention so give her silence, and pretend you didn't get the text if you see her again which will confuse her!

Of course it was vegetarian!

And yes, of course people eat cake past April. But on particularly hot, sticky days like today was (here anyway) it wouldn't be my first choice of food.

Thank you for the lovely comments. As I've said, it wasn't a 'proper' birthday party. One of DDs gifts from us was a big paddling pool so some children came to play and have a bit of a birthday tea, I suppose I wasn't thinking of it in terms of a big birthday party, but that bitchy message has upset me more than it should have, stupid I know! Just that she's so influential, I just KNOW all the other mums and families will be sniggering at me behind my back, and I hate it.

No cake ?

Cake is not weather dependent. Cake is a required part of birthday celebrations, irrespective of whether it actually gets eaten.

This in no way detracts from the mind boggling rudeness of the text, of course.

I think it sounds like a lovely spread and my children would have enjoyed it and not gone home hungry. It's unusual to not have a birthday cake and sing happy birthday, but i wouldn't dream of saying anything about it. The text was very rude. I once went to a kids' party from 4 - 6 and the only food put out was a few toddler biscuits. I did find that odd as it was a rush to have to provide tea once we got back, but your party sounds lovely.

Well actually I would complain. I do not like to feel that I have been cheated out of a cake eating opportunity.

But I would complain privately, behind your back. Maybe a little facebook status asking what the world is coming to, maybe mentioning hell and handbaskets. Or arrange a coffee with all the other mums that were there next week sometime. Or take them aside singly rhyme time.

I would not text you to complain.

PS. I don't understand why the guests brought no cards or presents if they definitely knew it was a birthday party. Never heard of that.

Op that woman should be ashamed not you. Why for providing a fun day with good food and hospitality! Please op don't let one rude individual get you down. So what if people are laughing (which I don't think they are), they are obviously horrid people.

I would probably have had a cake for 'blowing out of candles', but no need from a hunger point of view.

I thought for a moment you had served egg and cheese sandwiches , but see they were two options. I think your tea sounds lovely. A party at two, to be honest I would have given them lunch before and assumed they'd have a snack at home for supper, so wouldn't have expected much more than nibbles. Yours sounds fab.

No cards or presents. That is shocking, dd they know if was your dd birthday?

yy to expecting at least a card!

I expect other people recognise her for what she is too so will nod and smile at her complaint.

Your food was fine. Your "friend" was a bitch.

However don't get snippy if people respond with replies that you don't like especially on AIBU.

BTW my children wouldn't have eaten any of the extra suggestions such as pizza, veggie sausage rolls or marmite. My son wouldn't have eaten much but that's because he's got some intolerances and is a fussy bastard but I'd have either brought something or fed him when I got home. I can't imagine being that rude to anyone and I've been to plenty of parties at houses of good friends of mine who have "forgotten" about ds allergies and made everything with butter/milk/cheese or made him a party bag with chocolate and cake in. I just smile politely and slip in some haribo for him instead. Forget her. I wish I would be brave enough to make one of the above comments but I would probably just ignore it.

Blu :o

Off topic, but - is marmite really a popular sandwich filling for children?

I've only ever met one person who admits to liking it.

I think most proper vegetarians realise jelly has animal products in it!

If you wanted to please my DN when she was 2 you would have had to put out babybel, olives, pepperami and mussels in a garlic sauce.

Good luck to you if you didn't guess that!

Blonde, I'm not, but my title wasn't 'wibu not to serve cake' as in the context of what the 'birthday tea' actually was, it was perfectly reasonable.

Sometimes I feel a bit shit at this parent lark, is all.

Aw, you're not shit. the kids had a good time. Everyone is different. And as you might think what other people do is odd sometimes so others will think what you do is odd sometimes.

Don - I made the jelly. Please will you give me a break? I said several posts earlier that it was vegetarian.