What was wrong with DD"s birthday food?

[TeapotsInJune]

My DD is two and I held a very small garden party/picnic. I am vegetarian and will not be buying meat for my daughter but I of course don't mind if other people eat meat! However, I personally won't buy it.

So for the food we had a couple of tables in the garden with egg and cheese sandwiches, salad, crisps, jelly, strawberries, raspberries and blueberries and apple juice and sparkling grape juice to drink, plus iced water. I also had ice cream to go with the jelly but that wasn't out!

I then had a text from one of the women who is more the friend of a friend saying "not being funny but u obviously make ur choices but u shouldn't expect em to b made by others luv kids where dead hungry when they got in."

I am pretty cheesed off actually! That was my daughters birthday - it isn't as if I marched around snatching burgers off the children! Was the food I provided okay? I thought it was ...

And I completely recall that rather anally retentive phase of early parenthood - one learns to relax a little through experience (realises I am being patronising but doesn't care)

Oh and no cards or presents

Yeah hmrc, I do too! I now have no control over what my DCs eat at parties, and mine actively like hotdog sausages something I don't even recognise as food and would never want them to eat. I have to get over it, though, as you can't stay at a party with an 8 year old and insist they don't eat things you don't like (vegetarianism, allergies and religious needs excepted). See still quite retentive actually

We are meat eaters but your food sounds fine - there were sandwiches for the hungry, crisps for the junk lovers, jelly and icecream for the sweet tooth and to show it's a party :) fruit for the healthy :) If there was food left over that means nobody was genuinely hungry when they finished eating, otherwise they would have eaten the bread :)

I've been to toddler parties where there has only been cut up fruit and veg out (OK 2 parties, both of the same child on consecutive years ) The only way that would annoy me would be if the party was at a time that absolutely precluded feeding the children a meal at a reasonable time before or after - say if the party ran from 11am til 2pm or something. As it was the parties were both mid afternoon so just fruit was fine, if a little obviously virtuous :)

What you provided constituted a relatively conventional picnic as far as I can see, I wouldn't necessarily even have noticed it was vegetarian as cheese and egg were conspicuous and sandwiches don't by any means need to involve meat even for meat lovers if there are cheese and egg on offer!

Silly woman had probably decided to send you that text before she even arrived at the party for some reason :)

absolutely mutts reply lol

I think it's was a nice menu. ( whispers but was there no birthday cake? )

hmc - I think I mut be older and wiser than you, because I know that sandwiches, crisps, jelly & ice cream are utterly normal children's party fodder. In your age and wisdom, how has this escaped you?

Did you reply OP?

Sounds lovely. Ours would have zoomed in on the berries and ice cream.. Although we would be late as both would be sound asleep at 2pm :)

Party's always 4-6pm around here, no idea why though

How bizarre for her to text you rather than say something at the time. At ds1's 2nd birthday (a LONG time ago) one of the mum's came to me and apologised that her son was a fussy eater and didn't eat cheese or ham, but was hungry. I made him some jam sandwiches: it really was no bother!

Have people lost the ability to communicate verbally?

What a rude cow! Food sounds lovely

"You were either beimg funny or being incredibly rude, and given you assure me you weren't being funny..."

My DCs would've been limited too, but at 2pm I would've only expected snacks (if anything) and they would've had their lunch before anyway. Or I would have asked you if it was ok to sling together a jam sandwich or bread & butter. As an adult with my child at their friend's party I do not expect to have food provided for me but I'll happily eat the leftovers

I would never, ever text you to say though. How incredibly rude and ungrateful!

She clearly thinks she's way more important than she actually is, and so is entitled to illiterately share her thoughts with you.

Your food sounds lovely, the picnic sounds lovely, your DD is 2 - the whole thing was right, and yer wan is utterly misguided and cringeworthily rude.

Hopefully she cops onto herself at some point in the near future. Gawd knows what other 'public service' texts she has sent other unsuspecting people over the years. I'm embarrassed for her; you should be too.

The food you provided was lovely, though DS2 might have asked for some ketchup to dip his cheese sammie in! DS1 adores egg sandwiches, they both eat berries and chippies and ice cream, they'd have loved it.

However that is entirely not the point - the text was rude and all about you having the temerity not to have sausage rolls or meat type sandwiches available. My children go to parties to play, food is mostly an inconvenience and I expect them to be hungry when they get home.

I do think biscuits and cakes are party food though - but I love baking :)

DD isn't a vegetarian but would have loved that food at the age of two and would love it now at the age of 9.

Bet she expects you to reply crossly to her - ignoring her txt will annoy her. You did fabulously & she knows it.

I think this is more than you just being veggie. You had an informal gathering, the kids had fun. I think she sees you as a threat and wants to put you in your place. You say she's a bit of a big cheese at school/nursery? She's worried you could usurp her. I'd text her back saying 'Oh dear, hadn't they had lunch? Really you should have told me - I'd have found them something. Silly you for not mentioning it! :)'

Kill that woman with kindness and show the bitch up

25mo DS wouldn't have eaten your sandwiches. But DS refuses to eat any sandwiches. He requires separate bread and filling. I'm completely aware that this is his problem and not anyone else's, so I definitely wouldn't expect anyone to cater for his frankly weird tastes.

He would have scoffed the berries though. And the crisps.

Sounds like a lovely spread to me!

There's nothing wrong with your food - we've always provided similar.

DS is veggie by choice as are some of his friends, while some are veggie for religious reasons so it's always just been easier to provide just veggie food, especially when they're little. You're better than me, vegetarian jelly is such a faff that I never bother

Personally, I'd just ignore & privately have her on my shit list. It's a treat to be invited to a party - how could anyone ever dream of being so rude about someone's hospitality?

Rude vile woman!
I think a text back "Not being funny 'luv' but I hope your children don't inherit your manners as well as their picky eating habits."
But then it would probably cause a shit storm.
Just enjoy your DD's day, safe in the knowledge that you can construct a written sentence in English.

She was rude.

My DC would have loved the food that was on offer when they were 2 and would still love it now at 18 &16, although DS2 wouldn't eat the egg sarnies, but DS1 would have eaten them all.

A party? For 2 year olds?

This is what is required:
Fairy cakes with icing so that Child 1 can eat the icing off all 15 and leave the cake in a damp crumbly mess for Toddler 2 to grind into the carpet.
One enormous birthday cake covered in a thick layer of choc fudge frosting which Child 3 will remove in handfuls eating half and getting the rest in their hair.
Breadsticks which Children 4 - 6 will drop into the goldfish tank
A plate of carrot batons and cucumber sticks and cherry toms which Children 7 - 12 will ignore while they hurtle round the garden until at least two are howling with bumped heads
A plate of olive tapenade and crostini which the Mumsnetter's child will sit nicely and eat
Crisps ad infinitum, which the adults will eat by the handful.

This is two year olds, people. En masse.

In the face of that you did magnificently well, OP, to have tempted them to actually eat at all.. And with very nice food.

Text woman sounds very at home, etiquette-wise, at a party of two year olds!

Sounds like a lovely spread - but find it a little odd not to provide a birthday cake at a party even for 8 children and (I assume) Mums/Dads . When mine were little there would be some years when they would have cake at nursery /school, family gathering and with their friends - not always home made - even ať 14 my son would prefer an M &S Caterpillar Cake!.

You food sounds fine.
It's kind of odd to expect children to be stuffed when they get back from a party isn't it? My two only seem to eat hula hoops when they are at parties.