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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What was wrong with DD"s birthday food?

551 replies

TeapotsInJune · 01/06/2013 18:18

My DD is two and I held a very small garden party/picnic. I am vegetarian and will not be buying meat for my daughter but I of course don't mind if other people eat meat! However, I personally won't buy it.

So for the food we had a couple of tables in the garden with egg and cheese sandwiches, salad, crisps, jelly, strawberries, raspberries and blueberries and apple juice and sparkling grape juice to drink, plus iced water. I also had ice cream to go with the jelly but that wasn't out!

I then had a text from one of the women who is more the friend of a friend saying "not being funny but u obviously make ur choices but u shouldn't expect em to b made by others luv kids where dead hungry when they got in."

I am pretty cheesed off actually! That was my daughters birthday - it isn't as if I marched around snatching burgers off the children! Was the food I provided okay? I thought it was ...

OP posts:
pigletmania · 01/06/2013 20:35

As dd was fussy and I knew she would not eat at a party, I always fed her before. Rude rude I am Shock

Original poster
TeapotsInJune · 01/06/2013 20:35

I haven't sent a text back, while I don't know the woman very well she's one of those women who hold quite a lot of weight Uni nursery/preschool circles, strange as that may sound!

I just worry a lot about DD getting bullied, and having 'weird' parents who serve 'weird' food might be one way that makes her a target. Sad But I thought it was 'trendy' to have healthy food out nowadays? Can't win! Grin

OP posts:
NutcrackerFairy · 01/06/2013 20:36

TSS Grin

Please, please, please text back what TSS suggested OP... and make sure you report back any reply from the rude and ungrateful party guest.

Iamsparklyknickers · 01/06/2013 20:36

I think the examples of what others kids would have ate is more to demonstrate that most kids have their preferences but their parents don't take it upon themselves to berate a hosting parent for not providing their kids favorite foods.... or to make a point of exactly how tapped this woman actually is.

AndHarry · 01/06/2013 20:36

That text was breathtakingly rude. "Sorry your kids didn't like the food." as someone ^ said is an appropriately dignified reply if you're going to bother to send one.

I'm not vegetarian but I only did vegetarian-friendly food at DS's recent birthday party because there were several vegetarians and some other children with religious requirements re. meat attending and it was the easiest thing to do. It worked really well IMO and if anyone was pining for a sausage roll they at least had the manners not to say so!

ilovepowerhoop · 01/06/2013 20:37

if it was at 2pm then mine would have had lunch already just in case nothing suited later on. They would have eaten the crisps and strawberries and jelly and ice cream so would have been ok. I certainly wouldnt have texted about the food as that would be bad manners.

pigletmania · 01/06/2013 20:37

Sod that op I would have done, but thats me Grin.just never invite her again.

HorryIsUpduffed · 01/06/2013 20:38

2pm? Bloody hell, they were lucky to be fed at all then. It wasn't a meal time for normal people. A few biscuits on a plate would be normal for a "playdate" time.

Wot, no presents? Shock Are all your friends rude? Wink

Srsly though, cake next time Wink

flanbase · 01/06/2013 20:39

Ignore them & next time just have a cake as this is more than enough. Your party buffet sounds very nice and the parents should have thanked you for your effort and healthy choices

AndHarry · 01/06/2013 20:39

...I did also put on the invites to let me know if your child had any allergies or intolerances. I think it's a bit odd to turn up to a party not having said anything if that does apply. People aren't psychic and if it doesn't fall into their realm if experience then they might well not be thinking about catering for various possible allergies just in case.

ShatnersBassoon · 01/06/2013 20:40

None of them brought a card or present? Then you get complaints about the grub? You are well within your rights to unleash hell on that woman, and then invite normal people only next year.

ilovepowerhoop · 01/06/2013 20:41

can't believe they never brought presents either!

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood · 01/06/2013 20:42

I would be so tempted to text back,..
"pmsl :-) no, honestly you are being funny"

have been to many parties for kids in the last 10 years and the variety is so limited, the odd one where there is something fresh and healthy that the kids didn't eat I would have been delighted to see and not worry abit about the actual quantity of food eaten

flanbase · 01/06/2013 20:45

your child didn't get any gifts?

sjuperyoni · 01/06/2013 20:45

Your good sounds yum - ds (18 months) won't eat sandwiches but he'd have had his lunch first so picked at the fruit and i'd have ate all your salad Grin she sounds a right rude cow obviously expecting her kids filled up so she didn't have to!

My friends dd is almost 3 and fir both birthdays she has cooked a ridiculous amount of food and wondered why there was waste - kids from 7 months to 7 years were too busy playing to notice food all they were interested in was getting a glass of juice and 'wrestling' her dp :)

weakestlink · 01/06/2013 20:46

My DS doesn't like egg or cheese but that's his problem not yours! He would have filled up on fruit though or possibly bread and butter minus the cheese...
He is a fussy eater but I don't like pandering to him and even when people offer to make him something else to eat I usually decline in the hope that he will try new foods!
What a rude woman. Make sure you don't invite her again!

sjuperyoni · 01/06/2013 20:47

Oh and re: cake - i'd have been Hmm at you having cake at a wee gathering and Blush at having not bought a present.

Gathering - bit of food and play
Party - cake and gifts

LindyHemming · 01/06/2013 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jinsei · 01/06/2013 20:48

Unbelievable! And I thought my dd was a fussy eater at that age!!!

The woman was very rude, OP, I like the "you're welcome" response. Your food sounds lovely to me. I'm amazed that so many people have said their kids wouldn't eat it.

Shiraztastic · 01/06/2013 20:48

Ok, you obviously didn't want honest answers. I was trying to be helpful, no more Smile. I would never ever have said anything to you no matter what you'd served, I'd have smiled and said thank you and tried to get the dcs to eat something and not make honest comments, you know like 2 and 3 year olds do Smile. Your guest was hideously rude.

However, this is Mumsnet and you asked for opinions, so I was honest with you about how 2 of my 4 DCs would have reacted internally, and made a few suggestions for things that might help. I was not berating you. Btw, your OP implied you didn't actually serve the ice cream.

I guess over the course of 4 kids I've learned that whilst you can nod to healthy, and rule out foods you totally object to (as in meat for you), if you want your DCs friends to enjoy the birthday party you have to try to serve food that all children will recognise as 'mainstream' for want of a better description, and if you don't then some children will go home disappointed and if you don't serve cake/biscuits at a party then some parents will think you mean/odd. It is, however, of course up to you. Just flagging it up for the future for you really. At 2 years old parents expect a range of healthy food. As they get older, and mix with more different children at school, expectations change a little.

I speak as a mum whose pfb didn't even get a party until age 3, and then it was totally homemade and I spent a lot of time obsessing about it Wink. I thought jam and choc spread sandwiches were plain weird. 12 parties later I have relaxed a bit, and now serve a mixture of stuff to please most tastes. I still don't serve cheap sausages or quavers though, for example, as to me they are just grim.

MummyPig24 · 01/06/2013 20:49

My children and I would have eaten everything at your party. I don't really understand the text you received, what on earth do this woman's children eat if not the normal food you provided? Meat is not essential!

LynetteScavo · 01/06/2013 20:50

TeapotsInJune you win the prize for receiving the rudest text ever.

FreyaSnow · 01/06/2013 20:51

How is a cheese sandwich not mainstream? Or a strawberry?

hmc · 01/06/2013 20:51

Excellent post Shiraztastic

ShatnersBassoon · 01/06/2013 20:52

If you're invited to an ad hoc get together that coincides with a friend's birthday, even one that is specifically not a party, you take at least a card. These people are doing socialising all wrong.

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