Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that my sister-in-law should look after her own child?!

138 replies

MaddyM · 31/05/2013 13:44

We both had children at roughly the same time, but unfortunately her marriage broke up before he was a year old. Since then it seems that her parents (my in-laws) have him nearly all the time! My SIL and her ex alternate weekends, but nearly every weekend my SIL is supposed to have him she's got something else on that she can't possibly miss and dumps him on her parents. Same with school holidays. It seems so ridiculous and means that every time we need our son looked after (which frankly isn't often), they've already got my nephew! I think they spend more time with him than his mother! AIBU to think that she should spend a bit more time with her son and a bit less time going out?
Have bitten my tongue so hard today that I had to vent somewhere!

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 31/05/2013 18:03

oh gee did you miss out on precious moments quips,some cautionary tale of nursery
bet you were hoping op came back to agree that a mothers place is velcroed to their kid
seems youve been denied those mn cliches on this occasion,never mind Soon enough another

LittleMissLucy · 31/05/2013 18:04

YABU and competitive and a bit mean.

flanbase · 31/05/2013 18:06

yanbu - have a word with your sil for the days you need your ds looked after by their grandparents

Ogg · 31/05/2013 18:08

One does wonder if there is another reason your PIL won't have your children - they possibly know how big your judgy pants are?

ClartyCarol · 31/05/2013 18:11

Yeah but the op's child ain't getting much of a look in with that extended family by the sounds of it.

Agree with Ssd.

pumpkinsweetie · 31/05/2013 18:18

I think op is getting an unfair pasting here, maybe she could have worded her post better granted, but all in all it sounds like ops children are getting a raw deal. But it isn't all sil fault, the fault here is with both the sil & pil for having such disregard for their other grandchildren of whom don't seem to be getting a look in.
Of course op will be judgey, when the pil cba with her dc, it hurts as a mother when your children are treated as a 2nd place gc.

scottishmummy · 31/05/2013 18:20

the look in would be,time with mum,dad and grandparents.thats an extended circle
not a whey faced kid deprived of affection
this is a child with a number of family people all regular and steady

Birdsgottafly · 31/05/2013 18:22

The arrangement as it stands is best for the child, he knows where he is going to be each weekend and is in a regular routine.

Ideally his Dad would have him, but if he is happy with one a fortnight visits, it is him who should be criticised.

Speaking as a new Step Nan, i am glad that my Grandson's Mother is of a similar opinion, i get to have my SGS every Saturday and then take him to his other Nans on Sunday afternoon. He is well loved by us all.

She allowed me to join in her pregnancy and wanted us around whilst she gave birth, as well as every visiting time afterwards. None of the "no visitors for days" senario, often advocated on here.

Sounds as the OP doesn't want this relationship to be as it is, so that she can have a bit of free babysitting when it suits her.

Did you have your MIL join in your pregnancy? How where things after birth? Do you have your own Mum around?

MILs can't win, so they often stop trying and concentrate on the relationships that they are welcome in. It is up to them how much a part they want to play in their DD's child life, my own Nan was a second Mum to me, whereas my cousin's Mums favoured their side of the family.

Bonsoir · 31/05/2013 18:22

Being a single parent is hard. I know plenty of single mothers, albeit quite wealthy ones, and they find the weekends really long. Be kind!

Sparklypinknails · 31/05/2013 18:28

Sounds to me like OP isn't bothered about her dc getting equal time in particular. She's more bothered about when she needs her dc looking after (emphasis on what her and her dp need in her OP, not the dc) and more bothered about judging how her SIL is spending her time.

Yearofme · 31/05/2013 18:31

Omg OP are you.........my sister??? Confused

If not, I'm Sad that there's more than one of you that thinks in this smug self righteous way!

Try being a single parent and working full time for a month......then come back and give us your opinion

mrsjay · 31/05/2013 19:08

oh gee did you miss out on precious moments quips,some cautionary tale of nursery
bet you were hoping op came back to agree that a mothers place is velcroed to their kid
seems youve been denied those mn cliches on this occasion,never mind Soon enough another

oh not seen you in ages i have missed you Smile

and to add to the pages of disagreeing with you op, your sil works full time and takes care of her boy and house and work all by herself most of the time and has support of grandparents for 2 nights a week , you sound jealous of a little boy and resentful of your sil it is a nasty trait to have

quietlysuggests · 31/05/2013 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page