To be miffed with this woman....

[Chelt1982]

First ever post, so bear with me and apologies if I waffle!

My husband and I emigrated to Canada (away from all family and friends) 10months ago for his work. 1 month after getting here I had our DD and since then we've moved house twice and I've been very low with the stress and how lonely it can be with a reflux baby with dairy and soy allergies. There are other expats out here, but they really keep to themselves and haven't been welcoming. We've hosted numerous parties at our house and I try to get 'the wives' together once a week, but honestly, it exhausting and nobody else ever organises anything.

Anyway, I told you I'd waffle!

One of DHs old work colleagues has recently emigrated here too with his wife and their 1year old DS. After we've had such a tough transition, I really wanted to make sure they felt welcomed and supported. We see them a few times a week and its been great for me and DD as we finally have friends!

We are going back to the UK for a holiday soon and I wanted to do a welcome to Canada party at a local park to make sure they knew a few people before we left for a month.

I'm getting to the point now...

I'd set a date and invited people over, but since organising this, DHs work have changed their shift patterns and he would now be working till 5pm on the day of the party. I've contacted everyone I invited and gave 2 options. 1) we do the party later in the day at our house so DH doesn't have to rush about after work or 2) we do it on the Sunday.

I've had 2 replies so far saying they want to do it as planned at the park on Saturday and will go ahead without me and DH.

AIBU to be massively put out by this? We organised the party and now it looks like it will go ahead without us!

Chelt1982 i have 2 reflux children. It's incredibly difficult to deal with it sometimes. Please have a look on 'Living with Reflux - UK's National Charity' facebook page as it's a great support group, and might be able to help you on that front. I haven't read the whole thread but i can see why you are hurt as you organised it, and feels like you are now being excluded. But maybe see it instead, as that other people cannot rearrange their plans. Very nice of you to organise this for your new friend. Sounds liek you have found someone speicial.

I feel sorry for you but they anbu in that they may have plans for alternative days.
The mistake you made was to offer choice on your event....next time just say sorry circumstances have changed so the party will be at my house. You asked and they answered with an answer you did not want. My husband often says people need telling in life in a big group situation as everyone is self interested and will pitch for what suits them , not you.
Send another e mail...party at yours, no explanation needed, if they don't like it they don't come.

OP if you PM me and tell me where in Quebec you are I can tell you where the closest english speaking community to you is. I grew up in QC,and shockingly there are english people around. Is it possible to move? you could move to somewhere with more english....I grew up in a very english area.

loopy - you're right. I'd have been better saying 'probably' - just know from my own experience that I can be feeling down and isolated in the US but put me on a plane back to the UK and I'm pretty much my old self. Makes you think.