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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have told this girl off today...

190 replies

ImABadGirl · 27/05/2013 23:29

was a lovely sunny day today so I went bike riding with my family, as we waited in the queue for an ice cream, this girl screams and flicks a bug off her shoulder (we're in a country park)

anyway after a couple of minutes she looks at the dragonfly that she flicked off and promptly stands on it.

I'm quite Angry at this and tell her so, there were a lot of kids around. My mum said I shouldn't have had a go at her so WIBU?

OP posts:
stepawayfromthescreen · 28/05/2013 16:53

so it's fine to kill a fox because foxes have been decreed vermin by the powers that be, but not ok to kill a dragonfly?!
I know which I have more sympathy for.

limitedperiodonly · 28/05/2013 16:59

Do dragonflies bite?

I think anyone who squashes one in cold blood is a discusting individual who, in the memorable words of one poster, is asking for a slaaap.

But I do keep my distance.

stepawayfromthescreen · 28/05/2013 17:23

do dragonflies bite???!
So we can kill animals who bite?
The main reason it's not ok to kill a dragonfly is because it's pretty? But cockroaches are ugly, so we can squash them with gusto? And foxes have teeth so we can squash them too?

limitedperiodonly · 28/05/2013 17:41

No stepaway. That's not what I said.

It's not okay to kill animals just because they bite.

I wouldn't blame someone for panicking and slapping a poor dragonfly, or tiger for that matter, if taken unawares.

I'm not keen on cockroaches in my kitchen, but I've left them alone when I've seen them in the street.

I was quite impressed by a vastly pregnant rat that trundled across my path, stopped and gave me a weary look that said: 'Yeah! I'm a day off giving birth. Deal with it.'

I would take a dim view of someone who killed a dragonfly or tiger or even a rat or cockroach when it wasn't doing any harm.

Anyway, I really want to know if dragonflies bite? I'm not going to slaughter them wholesale even if you say yes.

complexnumber · 28/05/2013 17:45

Why do they think humans are superior to other animals when most animals feel pain and probably fear? Why is it just an insect?

As far as I know, there is absolutely no scientific evidence to suggest that insects experience fear or pain.

I still think that the woman the OP observed fraked a bit when something fluttered around her shoulder/face and her initial reaction was an reflex. If she stood on it later, it may well have been because she saw it had been injured and 'put it out of its misery' (though, of course, misery is unlikely to be an insect emotion either).

I definitely think the reaction of her friends was one of 'ha ha! you got the loon!'.

QuintessentialOldDear · 28/05/2013 17:47

So, the morale is that when insects encroach on "our territories" our homes an gardens, ants, wasps, slugs we kill them, using pesticide, and what not. Cats we discourage by using electronic implements, and rats and mice we trap or just lay out poison. But when we go to a place somewhere else where we could possibly come into contact with insects, like a country park, or park, we need to make a show of being caring and humane.

And we cannot even kill the poor animal/insect we have inadvertently injured in a place where we were "out of place".

I think the word "humane" is beginning to lose meaning.

Is it who we are, or the place that we are in, that define whether our actions are caring, appropriate or what?

GerundTheBehemoth · 28/05/2013 17:48

Dragonflies can bite, but they don't habitually bite people - you'd have to grab hold of one to get it to bite you. They don't suck blood from larger animals, they feed on other, smaller insects which they catch in flight.

The only person I know who's been bitten by a dragonfly was a bird-ringer, who was extracting a large dragonfly that was caught in one of his mist-nets. He said it felt like a slight pinch.

CaptainJamesTKirk · 28/05/2013 18:02

The killing of this dragonfly though was vindictive. There was no reason to kill this dragonfly.

A fox that slaughters other animals (and has been known to attack humans) is not the same. To take pleasure from killing a fox and turn it into a game is wrong. Killing a fox that continuously attacks farm animals is acceptable.

Likewise headlice (FFS)... Killing headlice that are feeding off you and your children is not wrong. Taking pleasure from the killing... Gleefully squishing them between your fingers is wrong.

There was absolutely no reason for killing this dragonfly. Fear of dragonflies is not a strong enough reason. Move away from the dragonfly, don't take pleasure in stamping on it!

Sallyingforth · 28/05/2013 18:04

sally did you miss the part about how dragonflies do hurt lots of people with phobias?
Dragonflies do not hurt people with phobias. Phobias hurt people with phobias, and killing the object of the phobia will not stop the phobia. In fact all the textbooks will tell you that submitting to a phobia only reinforces it.

The main reason it's not ok to kill a dragonfly is because it's pretty?
That's not what I said, so your reply is meaningless.

CaptainJamesTKirk · 28/05/2013 18:04

Regarding telling off this women. I wouldn't have told off the women but probably would have looked at her taught in the eye and asked her why she would do such a thing. She'd probably reply with 'fuck off' but hopefully it would be enough to make her think twice before she did it again.

limitedperiodonly · 28/05/2013 18:14

Thank you gerund.

They look at bit fierce, as well as beautiful. I stand back and admire.

But then many insects do look fierce and they are, but not to us. And there are those things that pretend to be dangerous to protect themselves.

They're all right unless they spread disease, which isn't what this thread was started for. It was started because OP saw someone being a bit of a shit.

Hoverflies look like wasps, but are gardeners' friends. People who grow their plants to feed other insects may feel differently Grin

I feel really bad about squashing a fat hoverfly larva because I thought it was a pest.

Wasps can be too, can't they? Some of them do for caterpillars, and though I like butterflies I don't like some caterpillars.

I watched a friendly little ladybird seem to detach its head and devour an aphid that was giving my roses a good going over. Terrifying and grimly satisfying.

I like spiders. But obviously they're not insects. I saw a wasp take a spider once. Ooh!

MrsWolowitz · 28/05/2013 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peeriebear · 28/05/2013 18:59

xylem8, if they weren't causing me pain or fear or filling my house with flying stingers I'd leave them alone. I have loads of ant nests in my garden.

ladymariner · 28/05/2013 19:26

I'm with mrsWolowitz I'm terrified of spiders but I don't kill them, they get a cup/bucket/whatever plonked over them, a pile of books puton top of that to stop them lifting it off and coming to get me (melodramatic? Moi??) and there they stay till dh or ds takes it outside.

YANBU, I would have said something too. Not a member of the 'insect police', just don't like wanton cruelty.

DeWe · 28/05/2013 19:41

Well dragonflies are carnivorous predators, eating lots of other insects including other dragonflies. They eat around their own weight every 30 minutes...
So if you're protecting insects then killing a dragonfly is probably a good start. Grin

hiddenhome · 28/05/2013 19:50

We have a large ant colony under the concrete car area in our back garden. I feed them and watch them and some of them fly away each summer. Some of them invaded the kitchen once, but the pitcher plant got them.

SurpriseMuffins · 28/05/2013 20:00

I really really hate ants, fleas, mites and that kind of thing but I would find it a shame to kill a dragonfly as they are harmless to me and are bigger so surely reproduce in smaller numbers than the aforesaid pests.

Yes, I am unashamedly biassed against tiny biting insects.

limitedperiodonly · 28/05/2013 21:13

I don't like red spider mites but that entirely rational

IKnowWhat · 28/05/2013 21:16

Grin 170 posts about a dragon fly.

passmetheprozac · 28/05/2013 21:39

Maybe just maybe, she saw the insect she brushed off was not moving or flying away maybe she thought she had hurt it to the point of no recovery, and she decided to put it out of it's misery. Maybe she thought she was doing the right thing?

To call her a girl yabu, to question her motives yanbu, did you ask her why she did what she did? Or did you give her a mouthful?

ICBINEG · 29/05/2013 08:51

they bite?!?!?

good grief.

MusicalEndorphins · 29/05/2013 09:12

My mum said I shouldn't have had a go at her so WIBU?

I have a feeling that mum posted this from her child's point of view.

And OP, if you are a young child, and saw this happen, your intentions were good, but it is really best to not speak to strangers, especially dragonfly murdering ones.

SoupDragon · 29/05/2013 09:24

Poster A : It's wrong to kill poor insects!
Poster B: Don't you kill then?
Poster A: Oh, they are different

WentOnABearHunt · 29/05/2013 09:45

I dont like insects really - dont think that means I should be banned from country parks though (Although in the late summer i avoid picnic areas and other places wasps hang out!). I once went to a day festival thing and there were so many wasps - i was hysterical - i had to go and sit in the car and wait for everyone. When I was younger my dad murdered a hornet right in front of me, it was huge and in my room, i was petrified - he was my hero!

I used to freak out at all kinds of insects - although I am not as bad now. Still if a dragon fly landed on me I would be spooked and probably flap like a loony - i dunno if i would stamp on it - i might out of irrational fear. You don't know anything about this woman!

Original poster
ImABadGirl · 29/05/2013 09:59

cor blimey, is this thread still going?! I think it's a split decision, would I have a go at the next person....fecking right I will....

OP posts:
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