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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have told this girl off today...

190 replies

ImABadGirl · 27/05/2013 23:29

was a lovely sunny day today so I went bike riding with my family, as we waited in the queue for an ice cream, this girl screams and flicks a bug off her shoulder (we're in a country park)

anyway after a couple of minutes she looks at the dragonfly that she flicked off and promptly stands on it.

I'm quite Angry at this and tell her so, there were a lot of kids around. My mum said I shouldn't have had a go at her so WIBU?

OP posts:
pinkballetflats · 28/05/2013 09:11

If you're going to a country park you should expect there to be insects. She clearly has no respect for nature. I doubt I would have said anything for fear of reprisal but good for you.

ClaireDeTamble · 28/05/2013 09:12

What the girl did is slightly pathetic - especially to a dragonfly - which are beautiful creatures, however, I'm not sure I would have said anything directly to her. I'd have porbably gone for the more passive aggressive eye-rolling or saying something indirectly via the kids.

However, I did laugh at this comment from stepawayfromthescreen
I find I can't get excited about insect rights however, they're right at the bottom of the food chain in my world.

I hope it was tongue in cheek as the fact that they are at the bottom of the food chain is really the key to their importance - after all, the animal world will not be wiped out by the loss of lions, tigers, whales and elephants and all those other large creatures at the top of the food chain, it will be wiped out by the loss of the animals at the bottom - because without them nothing else will survive!

That is why the declining bee population is such an issue!

limitedperiodonly · 28/05/2013 09:13

I kill snails too hesterton. If it continues damp tonight I'm going out in the garden with my torch and special snail-squashing shoes.

peeriebear · 28/05/2013 09:16

I'd have said something too OP. If you hate 'bugs', or are so indifferent to their existence that you think nothing of stamping on a dragonfly ffs (one of the more beautiful and exotic of our native insects) then don't go to a country park. I wouldn't go to the beach if I hated crabs that much I'd have to crush them if they came near me.
The 'there are bigger things to worry about' argument holds no water either. It's always the same on here- you can't complain about an insect because there are other bad things happening in the world? OK, I won't complain about my local puppy mill because of the plight of the orang utans in Borneo. But I can't worry about the orang utans because there is genocide in Syria. Etc etc...

ICBINEG · 28/05/2013 09:20

screw insects! The fluttering/buzzing triggers something horrible in my brain and makes my feel sick/panicky/fear/adrenaline.

I just spent all weekend having bees bumping into me in my suburban back garden. I thought they were supposed to be in decline?

On the basis that they are endangered and useful (and the fact their mates may rally around a corpse) I did not kill any. Also I am desperately trying to act normal around insects in the hopes my DD won't get the fear. But I did destroy a daddy long legs after it got in my face for the 5th time while I was trying to make an icing gruffalo....

My guess would be that the woman didn't stand on the dragonfly immediately because she was paralysed with fear. It can take a while for the anger to beat the fear...

It's them or us...and we will be farming them for food soon...so I think some collective getting over killing insects will be the order of the day...

Justine202 · 28/05/2013 09:21

Found my first ant today in my house but I killed him before he could go get his mates...

Delayingtactic · 28/05/2013 09:22

That would of bugged me too. But then as a child I cried at the other kids squishing ants. I think the teacher could barely keep a straight face as she told my mom why I was wailing.

Delayingtactic · 28/05/2013 09:22

Oh god please ignore the pun.

Binkybix · 28/05/2013 09:27

I'm frightened of bugs, but would not squash them in a country park. Seems very unnecessary to me, unless it was injured. I'm terrified of slugs (I know, it is pathetic) but still wouldn't kill one when we get the odd one in the house (I think there's something wrong with our house).

I have, however, used ant powder as a last resort when besieged. But I did feel very bad.

I wouldn't have said anything, but would save thought good on you for doing it!

D0GWithAYoni · 28/05/2013 09:33

Why do people think they are justified in valuing the worth of something's life? Why do they think humans are superior to other animals when most animals feel pain and probably fear? Why is it just an insect? Life is life no matter what form and it should be respected.

Remotecontrolduck · 28/05/2013 09:40

I love Dragonflies, they're beautiful. I wouldn't have said anything, but I would have raised my eyebrows at her hysteria.

It's a shame people get so upset over a little winged creature, but it was patronising to 'tell her off'. It wont cure her of her fear of bugs or anything.

Sallystyle · 28/05/2013 09:41

Exactly, DogwithAYoni

Sallyingforth · 28/05/2013 09:42

I'd be pleased to have a dragonfly land on me and would try to take a photo!

ICBINEG · 28/05/2013 09:45

I think I am superior to a dragonfly...why wouldn't I?

It is a bug eat bug world out there...being killed by something that can kill you easily is part of nature. There are more insects than humans precisely because we can kill them so easily...they fill different niche.

Now plants have been shown to communicate, the all life is sacred gang are going to be going hungry soon.

complexnumber · 28/05/2013 09:56

Did you know that, according to the RSPB about 55 million birds are killed by cats each year, but there is no evidence to show that cats are having any impact on the population of birds within the UK.

I really don't think that the stomping of injured dragon flies by humans is going to seriously affect their population.

cornypedicure · 28/05/2013 09:59

I think the evidence shows that human activity has contributed to the decline of bird populations in the UK though

complexnumber · 28/05/2013 10:02

I'm sure it has, but that is unlikely to be due to humans killing individual birds. Much more likely is the destruction of their habitat.

melika · 28/05/2013 10:07

I'm not surprised by the reaction of the woman, my DH would run a mile, he had never seen one before last year. They are quite big. But like you, would of said something about her killing it.

YANBU.

hesterton · 28/05/2013 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 28/05/2013 10:29

Personally I've never killed anything intentionally but I do think YWBU to "tell off" another adult. You said girl in your OP but then went on to say the "girl" was probably in her 20s. I'm in my 20s and would have given you a Hmm whatever the reason was you'd told me off!

The girl sounds a total knob though.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 28/05/2013 10:30

Oh except headlice and fleas. killed tonnes of them over the years!

Damnautocorrect · 28/05/2013 10:44

I get people don't like them, but is have been really sad. There's just no need for it when your out. I don't understand how our pain differs from anything elses

xylem8 · 28/05/2013 10:50

According to the dragonfly society most species are doing well and a third in decline, but none engangered.
YABU to assume that because you feel a certain way about dragonflies , everybody else has to.

southeastastra · 28/05/2013 10:53

how sad, i would have said something too, hate to see people kill insects, even house spiders. don't see how you were being unreasonable, happy you said something. if she was so scared of insects a country park in summer isn't the place to be is it!

cory · 28/05/2013 10:58

Perhaps we could have a survey? Smile

Would the OP have been within her rights if the young woman had trodden on:

a) an ant

b) a spider

c) a dragonfly

d) a frog

e) a baby bird

f) a baby hedgehog

Presumably all of us draw the line somewhere. But probably not in the same place.