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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel a little weird that friend is using same name as my ds?

107 replies

Pinkflipflop · 25/05/2013 16:49

Friend's ds due on Friday and when we met last week she told me she would be calling her ds the same name as my ds. Ds's will be 4 months apart.

Friend was very honest and said she just liked the name when I called my ds the name. Hadn't considered it before.

I just said "oh right, very nice" as I couldn't say much else!

I know AI(prob)BU but I just feel a little surprised that there were no other names she liked!

Hand me a grip Smile

OP posts:
TeWiSavesTheDay · 25/05/2013 16:51

There were 2 girls at my school with the same name for exactly this reason. The 2nd born was very grumpy about it.

Was a strange coincidence though, because they were born thousands of miles from where we went to school when their dads were working abroad.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 25/05/2013 16:52

Ahem, I meant to say YANBU if they are local! It's a bit odd unless they'd already chosen it.

mrspaddy · 25/05/2013 16:52

Hmmm.. YANBU but I wouldn't say anything to her. wouldn't even hint you are annoyed. It is very strange though.

BedHog · 25/05/2013 16:53

That is a bit wierd, unless you don't see each other very often, or live in different towns. Even stranger if it's an unusual name, I'd be pissed off if I'd chosen something a bit different and she'd copied. Of course if the name is Jack/Oliver/Josh/Harry etc then you'd be more prepared for there to be lots of them.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 25/05/2013 16:53

I think I would be a bit miffed if my friend gave their child the same name as mine. Unless the name of your child is already a popular one?

Original poster
Pinkflipflop · 25/05/2013 16:53

V local, we meet up often as part of a group of friends.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkflipflop · 25/05/2013 16:54

Name is Reuben

OP posts:
ShadowStorm · 25/05/2013 16:55

YANBU. I'd feel weird about this too. You'd think there'd be other names they liked, especially if they'd not considered it before you named your DS.

Does your friend live near you?

Original poster
Pinkflipflop · 25/05/2013 16:56

Friend live around 10 miles away.

OP posts:
Wishfulmakeupping · 25/05/2013 16:56

I wouldn't be happy but I got flamed for moaning about people using a similar name to dd so the 'you don't own a name' brigade will be along in a minute

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 25/05/2013 16:56

Hmmm that is quite a popular name though. I would be less bothered by that.

ShadowStorm · 25/05/2013 16:57

Reuben's not all that popular at the minute is it?

Agree it would be less odd if your DS had a name that was in the top 10 like Jack or Oliver.

plummyjam · 25/05/2013 16:57

I'd be very flattered. It's obviously a good name for you to have chosen it for your DS, hopefully it's one that will stand them both in good stead for their future lives!

Intrigued to know what it is BTW?

Original poster
Pinkflipflop · 25/05/2013 16:59

Ds's name is Reuben.

OP posts:
C0smos · 25/05/2013 17:01

Odd

I had my heart set on a name, then one of my best friends used it 6 months before mine was due. I was a bit gutted and did at one point contemplate asking her if she'd mind if we used it (we live an 11 hour flight apart so not like they would spend much time together).

In the end I saw sense and chose a different name.

I am expecting again and have mentally crossed off the list all my friends and rellies kids names, which is surely the sensible thing to do unless unless there really is a strong reason to use a name e.g family tradition etc.

VashtaNerada · 25/05/2013 17:03

YANBU. It's one thing is she said "I'm really sorry, I'd always intended to call my son Reuben after my much-loved Great Uncle Reuben" or something, but to decide after your son was born?? That's weird.

IvanaCake · 25/05/2013 17:03

I would think it very strange but don't think I'd be pissed off about it. Are the 2 reuben's likely to endup at the same nursery/school?

lljkk · 25/05/2013 17:03

I don't get the discomfort, why can't OP feel flattered that friend likes her taste? You don't baggsy a name.

ProphetOfDoom · 25/05/2013 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alisvolatpropiis · 25/05/2013 17:17

Yanbu - I would secretly not like it,as you have. But you said the right thing to your friend.

Chottie · 25/05/2013 17:18

There are not many Reubens where I live. I would be a bit fed up tbh.

emstats · 25/05/2013 17:21

But... From her point of view, would you NOT call your child the name you wanted because of someone your friends with at the time? To be fair, friends do tend to come and go (or is that just me??) But your child is stuck with the name you choose forever.

SuffolkNWhat · 25/05/2013 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly · 25/05/2013 17:22

Very odd. It's a bit single white femaleish, isn't it? Hmm. It's not exactly on a level with painting her fence the same colour.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 25/05/2013 17:22

A friend of mine called her DD the same as my DD. Her DD was born 2 months after mine and she was upfront and said "I heard your DDs name and I knew I loved it and had to have it."

I thought about being pissed off and decided not to be. It's flattering really.