Completely Unreasonable "Gives Me The Rage"...

[Bathsheba]

I know we do this every so often on MN but it can be very cathartic...

My "across the road" neighbour gives me completely unjustifiable rage with his woodstaining obsession. He has a normal 3 bedroom detached house with a normal amount of windows and doors, but he sees woodstaining the wood around these as a "Forth Road Bridge"-Esque job....he does it constantly. With his wee brush, running it slowly and deliberately round the edges...

This impinges on my life in absolutely no way at all.

I asked my DH about it - WHY does B feel the need to constantly be paiting the windows and you don't. He looked up from his ipad for a nanosecond and replied "5 year woodstain...". Would it be unreasonable of me to stick a picture of some from B&Q through B's door to free him from his wood stain enslavement..??

He was doing again yesterday. DH is in the US working. I sent him a picture and said "B is doing it again...in the rain...". Apparently when my DH is away he wants pics of his children and not the neighbours that give me unjustifiable rage.

Can I legitimately go over and remove the dinky wee brush from B...Or indeed insert it elsewhere...?? I've only just got over the "guy round the corner" who spent 3 weeks painting a door a few years ago...

Maybe its wee brushes and "concentrating" faces that I hate...maybe I should start a campaign to rid the world of tiny brushes (other than for make up use before I get too flamed here...) and insist everything is slapped on in a 10 minute window with a big comedy brush..

I'll pop the wine in the freezer for later..

Every time one of my neighbours comes home he sits in his car with the radio blaring for at least five minutes. It gives me the rage. Why does he do this?

Other neighbour wears a rediculous amount of layers no matter what season we are in. I have seen him in the middle of the summer in a tracksuit with the hood up and tied tight around his face, waterproof trousers, big coat and woolly gloves... Doesn't give me the rage but seriously confuses me.

My next door neighbour gardens wearing a hi-vis vest, or jacket if it's winter. Seriously bonkers. I mean just pruning or planting things, the lawnmower is the most dangerous thing he uses.

I too take pictures and send them to DH in rage

I also have a neighbour who gives me unjustifiable rage, so I feel your pain.

My neighbour bought one of the show homes and inherited a beautifully landscaped front garden with quite large trees, hedges and shrubs. Over the last ten years he has brutally cut them into odd, stunted, little stumps, they are no longer beautiful just sad and deformed.

He has now dug up his entire, huge back garden and paved the whole area. It's a sterile, plant-free, bird-free, animal-free, insect-free abomination.

I hate it, but it doesn't really affect me and I should try to retain some perspective.

Pip - actually that would annoy the fuck out of me too.

The man next door was always mowing his lawn in neat stripes. After the birth of his two children, said stripes were sadly absent. His children are now older and the stripes are making a comeback. Unfortunately, so is the irritating whirr of the lawn mower every few days.

Further Update...

There is a pink charity bag stuffed in the area where the letterbox was in the front door across the road... I'll need to remove it before I shout 'Woodstain guy' through it.

I have wine

I have photographs...

Ph poo

I'm on my phone and you can't upload photos on the app

Damn you Tech... Damn you to wood staining hell

Oh he has a special front lawn stripy lawn mover...

Another cable loving DH here....cables everywhere always poking out and you cant just put them back they do not move like that, I am always wrestling with them, to shove them away or back behind things.

id love a front stripy lawn mower....and I loathe wood stain.

My NDN comes out of the house looking all forlorn if his wife has the car for the day and he's at home. This usually happens on a Thurs and Fri when I presume she works but he doesn't.
Every hour or so he wanders onto the drive looks up and down the street, picks up a stray leaf, examines it, puts leaf in pocket, wanders over to the kerb, picks up any stray bits of rubbish, puts rubbish in pocket, picks up stray stone, throws said stone over to the patch of grass opposite, takes a big dramatic sigh then wanders back in.

Makes me howl every time I watch peek from behind blind

thisvehicle that is hilarious...I'd laugh too!

I have a neighbour who hoovers his entire front garden every day.

My neighbour (40/50 something) never wears anything else but a coloured blouse, black skirt ,tan tights and black heeled court shoes! I mean she wears them to do EVERYTHING cut the grass, walk the dogs, weeding the driveway, painting the front gates, washing the car. And is always immaculate! Don't know why but it really irritates me. She never has a hair out of place!

Honestly - you wouldn't be able to see black marker pen - so thick is the woodstain...

Tippex however...

I'm loving this thread

Our old neighbours carpeted their garage and had indoor and outdoor shoes

Our neighbours regularly give their garage a good hoovering and dedicate one full weekend every month to cleaning their house. Always makes me feel a bit slovenly and therefore cross and guilty on a sunny warm day when I see them traipsing to and fro the wheelie bin as I recline in our garden, G&T and good read in hand. They're lovely neighbours, but there's no way I'll ever let them in our house.

No woodstaining today.....the camper van however is being pressure-washered....

I've got lilac emulsion...and a medium sized brush...would that do...???

Ehm Angel...you know me very well...do you HONESTLY think I could commando crawl...

I could get DD2 to do it....

Scrawl WOODSTAIN OR DEATH on his garge door.

I really like my neighbour but he's a fussy man. He has come to the door to tell us about our guttering before, and while he is very kind and helpful, he has a habit of intruding on our own outdoor diy projects, with lots of advice and getting stuck in.
I always see dh's jaw set with redundant irritation while he makes all the polite 'oh yes' and 'righto' noises.

We would never be ungracious to him as he is the perfect neighbour in many ways...easy going and pleasant...but he's a meddler as well. No one enjoys meddling.