Completely Unreasonable "Gives Me The Rage"...

[Bathsheba]

I know we do this every so often on MN but it can be very cathartic...

My "across the road" neighbour gives me completely unjustifiable rage with his woodstaining obsession. He has a normal 3 bedroom detached house with a normal amount of windows and doors, but he sees woodstaining the wood around these as a "Forth Road Bridge"-Esque job....he does it constantly. With his wee brush, running it slowly and deliberately round the edges...

This impinges on my life in absolutely no way at all.

I asked my DH about it - WHY does B feel the need to constantly be paiting the windows and you don't. He looked up from his ipad for a nanosecond and replied "5 year woodstain...". Would it be unreasonable of me to stick a picture of some from B&Q through B's door to free him from his wood stain enslavement..??

He was doing again yesterday. DH is in the US working. I sent him a picture and said "B is doing it again...in the rain...". Apparently when my DH is away he wants pics of his children and not the neighbours that give me unjustifiable rage.

Can I legitimately go over and remove the dinky wee brush from B...Or indeed insert it elsewhere...?? I've only just got over the "guy round the corner" who spent 3 weeks painting a door a few years ago...

Maybe its wee brushes and "concentrating" faces that I hate...maybe I should start a campaign to rid the world of tiny brushes (other than for make up use before I get too flamed here...) and insist everything is slapped on in a 10 minute window with a big comedy brush..

I'll pop the wine in the freezer for later..

I have a neighbour who paints her front garden wall (about 2ft high and 2 ft long) every week... sometimes twice a week... she also trims her hedge with kitchen scissors daily too.

My neighbour finds it necessary to park right on my fenceline all the time. I mean, to the point she makes sure she is actually touching the fenceline. It drives me freaking mental. She lives in the middle of two acres. Why park on the fenceline?

I get this actually. Every couple of years my neighbour guts his front room. Everything, new floorboards, plastering the lot. Why does he need to do it so often? The communal front garden is currently full of his two year old floor boards!

I was actually snarling as I let myself into my house.

My ndns wear bright yellow rubber gloves with elastic bands to hold them at the elbow and woolly hats to do all jobs.

Putting the bins out, washing the car, mowing the grass, sweeping, everything is done, whatever time of year, with both of them wearing the gloves and hats.

She doesn't even touch anything, just barks orders at him.

We've recently moved, but guy at end of our old street was contantly doing improvements to his immaculate house. He had his own sparkling white overalls and his own moveable scaffolding.
I used to think, is that really necessary as he took the front door off to paint the frame for the 8th time, I'm sure there are numerous old folk around who could do with a bit of DIY help if you've got time on your hands.
The bit that used to drive me mad was when he used to blow leaves away from his house further down the street, often on a windy day that would blow them straight back.

Drove past the other day, and he's painted the front gate shiney black - done a lovely job. Strange he's been undercoating it battleship grey for the past 7 years. Don't know what's caused him to actually finish the job.

OP my back windows could do with a bit of TLC and a lick of woodstain. Do you think your neighbour would do ours?

I'm loving the idea of doing all jobs in matching rubber gloves and a wooly hats. I may suggest this to DH tonight. If there's no neighbour randomness at our new place maybe we should fill the niche.

Oh, and the first house on the left on our street has a wooden board by the wall, like a small estate agents sign. On the board is a laminated notice asking dog lovers not to allow their pets to foul the pathway along with several laminated newspaper cuttings detailing the prosecution of errant dog owners.

They live at Number 2!

He is out doing the front door now - we dust sheet on the ground...wee brush and concentrating face....

He'll go for a run later. Then maybe clean his son's car....then. back to the woodstaining...

I have informed DH in the states that he is woodstaining - I didn't send a pic this time though

Our NDN had compulsive garden tractor disorder. Every job in the garden that could possibly be done with ride on lawn mower + trailer was, plus plenty that didn't need the tractor. From mid feb till late autumn he would be out there daily. For hours. DH and I didn't listen for cuckoos, for us spring was heralded by the starting of the lawn mower engine.

Thing is they moved last year and I miss them. Our garden may be quieter but tis not the same.

Be thankful you don't have an opp.N who looks through binoculars at your bedroom ! I noticed him doing it . so DD1 got some bins. and looked at his bedroom he'd just got out of the bath and was stark bollxxc naked his face was a picture!!! . I put proper blinds up after that!!

Woodstainers Wife has felt my cervix....She is a midwife though so thats okay.

We have a neighbour who clears out his garage every weekend. First thing Saturday morning every item is taken out and deposited on the drive. Then her spends his weekend putting it all back again. DH and I reckon he's paying some strange tetris-type game with it - either that or his DW has sent him 'out to play' to give her and the dcs some space

There' a man at my work who walks really slowly. Totally winds me up.

Our ndn have a huuuuge paved driveway - and always park on the road.

WHY?

It doesn't affect me but it really makes me twitch. DH thinks I am mad.

Our across the road neighbours used to have a caravan. He would start at the crack of dawn cleaning it, washing polishing, whatever it is you can do to a hunk of white plastic. By early evening he would be crawling on the roof cleaning that. Then he would start loading bikes on. The whole process took about 15 hours.
He's a car cleaner as well. I have a theory that there is a car cleaning gene. My BIL has it. Both cars must be valeted without fail for four hours on a Sunday morning or the world will end.
Why should it bother me so much?

My across the way neighbours 'tinker' with cars and between them own 5 or 6. There is always a mangled car on their drive, so all the other cars are parked wherever (including right outside our house and where we park ours! ignores the fact that at times we have 5 cars outside our house

Fatty we rush out and clear the driveway from snow because our drive is on a sharp incline and we're the corner house and if you don't clear it quickly and regularly then it very quickly gets impacted by people taking a short cut across the drive. Then it's hard to clear and very icy so it's hard to get the car down safely.
Our neighbours do the same-the first year we were here, we wondered why they were so keen to clear the snow. When we tried to get the car out we found out.

Mwah...!!!!!! you could come up and see Woodstain Guy...I'm trying to see it as a superpower...!!

We have a car hooverer - used to take an Amazon box out of the boot and then get the dust buster out....they have recently had a baby though....

My mil! Every time, without fail, that the phone rings, no matter what she's doing, sitting down, washing up, watching tv, she says 'oh food goodness sake who's that?!' Like its a massive surprise that the phone is ringing.
I don't know who it is?!!!! It drives me up the wall haha.

*for goodness sake haha

God I've got pmt so literally everything gives me rage. But mostly my dads insistence on telling me what teams are playing each other in football that day.
I really couldn't give a flying fig but he tells me in the same tone of voice as if he's telling me something fantastic is happening.
I feel irrationally murderous.

People who insist on kissing you on arrival and departure. Why both times? Why at all?
I only like to kiss my children and people I have sex with
Back away with your germs.
(Can you tell I'm on route to vist in laws whereupon much kissing will ensue)