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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let dd have a day off school because i miss her?

465 replies

LittleLisa78 · 22/05/2013 22:45

DD is in reception. DP works shifts and doesn't have a weekend off til July but does have many weekdays off. Youngest DD is 1 and very full on so elder DD has not had any real one on one time with me since she was born and has been asking repeatedly for it but it's difficult with dps shifts and extra curricular activities after school. She and I both just want a full day with each other having fun and doing things it's difficult to do when I have younger DD to look after too. AIBU to consider letting her have a day off school to do this?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 22/05/2013 23:35

My mum and dad did this a handful of times, they'd have a work sickie, and I'd be kept off school

So your parents were happy to commit fraud and gave you the message that lies and deceit were absolutely fine? I think the work sickie stuff is even worse than the child missing school in isolation.

DewDr0p · 22/05/2013 23:36

I agree with Xmas this won't solve the issue. If your dd is missing you OP then maybe you need to review after school activities or make more use of the baby's nap times?

Pantone363 · 22/05/2013 23:36

Do it

I take mine out every term for one day each. Not half term, over a full term. Just call her in sick.

Weekends and holidays are different, there's other kids about and it's not the same. DS and I went tobogganing last time Grin

Original poster
LittleLisa78 · 22/05/2013 23:37

What are these 'so many ways' Worra? Besides hiring a babysitter which isn't doable as DD and I would both know other DD would be upset and wouldn't enjoy ourselves

OP posts:
5madthings · 22/05/2013 23:37

Well the odd duvet day when it was needed has done my children no harm, given ds1 is in top sets and other than time off for an operation in yr8 has had 100% attemdemce at high school and is predicted all a* and a grades form his GCSE's. The other two are also doing brilliantly, ds3 actually had quite a lot of 'duvet days' in the months after having kawasakies disease and has done him no harm at all, quite the opposite infact it meant he didn't get overtired and worn out so he was able to do well at school.

thebody · 22/05/2013 23:38

Reading just your post then if course not. Do it. What will she miss? GCSE prep? Oh hang on this is Britain. Yes sorry its a crucial time between 4 and 5.. If she's off for a day now she will fail her sats/ A levels and life chances.....

Any other country chik she wouldn't in formal education.. Think on...

AnyFucker · 22/05/2013 23:38

I understand children, OP. I also understand that you are attributing thoughts and mindsets to your child that are originating from yourself.

that is not a healthy situation..for you nor for her

ilovesooty · 22/05/2013 23:38

I see no one has commented yet on how they'd feel if their child's teacher called in sick in order to indulge themselves and their child.

Pantone363 · 22/05/2013 23:38

And we got half way to school in the snow and said f it and went sledging instead.

Both of them are above target blah blah blah and I'm loling hard at "what example are you setting".

Altinkum · 22/05/2013 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 22/05/2013 23:39

having a diagnosed illness that requires rest days is very different to having a mum that fulfils a need in herself by keeping her kid off school

heaven forbid this child is actually ill and requires time off school

Original poster
LittleLisa78 · 22/05/2013 23:40

Baby is high needs so making use of nap time isn't possible. DD wants to do activities and spend time with me but it isn't a good plan to have her miss one every week

OP posts:
BumgrapesofWrath · 22/05/2013 23:40

My parents taught me the terrible lesson that life is for enjoying...

Pantone363 · 22/05/2013 23:40

ilovesooty, I can't say I'd be overly bothered if it was once a term.

WorraLiberty · 22/05/2013 23:40

Oh come on!

DD would be upset because you hired a babysitter? Because presumably you know nobody else in the world who could look after her for a day?

Really?

Ask yourself this...where will it end?

What if you miss your other DD when she's at school...will she be taking time off too?

What about when you're working and you miss them both, will you be throwing sickies?

You need to sort something out and I mean that nicely no matter how harsh it sounds.

5madthings · 22/05/2013 23:40

Yes we had time off she we had snow, the school sent a text saying only travel in of you feel it is safe to do so, our roads and footpaths were lethal so we stayed home and enjoyed the snow!

Crikeyblimey · 22/05/2013 23:40

Unbelievable.

My issue isn't the "missing lessons" - I appreciate one missed day in reception won't ruin her education. It is the total lack of respect for the school, the teacher, her classmates etc. that bothers me. School isn't a drop in centre. But maybe people also have the same feelings about work and throw sickies left right and centre.

Oh we'll, I'm off to her now cos I have to get up for work (no matter how tired I am).

ColouringInQueen · 22/05/2013 23:41

Do it. One "duvet day" a year for my DD now year3 has only ever been a positive, relationship building thing. She understands how important school is, and is conscientious. But that one day earlier this year was very special for both of us and she benefitted significantly from it as had been struggling with health problems for a while.

Onesleeptillwembley · 22/05/2013 23:41

I came on to tell you to get a grip, but I've been there and a day of family time in the timescale you have given is far more important. Enjoy. Grin

kawliga · 22/05/2013 23:41

Some people apply no moral standards to school or work, so they think it's ok to call in sick to work or call their children sick to school because they fancy a duvet day, or even lie to the children that it's a bank holiday so they can stay at home. On the internet, not everybody thinks you have to do the right thing, some people think it's ok to tell lies. OP, think very carefully whether that line of advice is what you want to follow. Is your great duvet day worth it, if you had to tell lies to achieve it?

WorraLiberty · 22/05/2013 23:42

5mad that's totally different to the OP indulging her own needs in the middle of May.

AnyFucker · 22/05/2013 23:43

Indeed, crikey

let's hope I don't feel like having a "fun day" tomorrow as a lot of people that need my services will be greatly inconvenienced and affected detrimentally

fuck it though, I fancy a day off with my kid

we deserve it

McNewPants2013 · 22/05/2013 23:43

I don't know if this is true, but if the whole school attendance is low it can effect ofstead reports which in turn effects the schools funding.

If every parent did this despite the teachers very best effort it can effect the rating.

You need to spend 1-1 with your dd why not make it a monthly thing.

WorraLiberty · 22/05/2013 23:44

Anyway, it's not like the OP is really asking for advice.

She's looking for 'YANBUs' as she's clearly going to do it anyway.

I just hope you're honest with the school and don't make up some bullshit about your child being sick.

ilovesooty · 22/05/2013 23:44

5madthings if it was unsafe to travel that's a whole different scenario to keeping your child off school for self indulgent reasons.

And I think Worra's right. This could get totally out of hand. I still think the OP is just looking for excuses not to find a solution which doesn't impact on school attendance and wants others' validation for her choices.