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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let dd have a day off school because i miss her?

465 replies

LittleLisa78 · 22/05/2013 22:45

DD is in reception. DP works shifts and doesn't have a weekend off til July but does have many weekdays off. Youngest DD is 1 and very full on so elder DD has not had any real one on one time with me since she was born and has been asking repeatedly for it but it's difficult with dps shifts and extra curricular activities after school. She and I both just want a full day with each other having fun and doing things it's difficult to do when I have younger DD to look after too. AIBU to consider letting her have a day off school to do this?

OP posts:
everlong · 24/05/2013 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5madthings · 24/05/2013 21:35

She isnt six, she is coming up to six the op said.

Floggingmolly · 24/05/2013 21:38

It's still too old for reception, isn't it?

everlong · 24/05/2013 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly · 24/05/2013 21:50

It's May...

Alisvolatpropiis · 24/05/2013 21:51

Not if she's 6 in September it isn't.

I honestly don't see the issue in such a young child having a day off school. Fairly sure my mum did it once or twice with me when I was that young. It didn't damage my attitude to education or impair my ability to hold down a job as a responsible adult.

Alisvolatpropiis · 24/05/2013 21:53

If she's a September child then she's closer to her 6th birthday than her 5th Flogging

5madthings · 24/05/2013 21:55

Well ds1 is 13, has an Aug bday and I say he is nearly 14. So the dd is nearer to 6. Or if the op is in Scotland then they can start school later depending on were their bday falls so she could turn six in her firs year of school I think.

Theyoniwayisnorthwards · 24/05/2013 22:20

Ugh! Alright I'm back in

Tantrums and balloons: nope, nobody is missing the entire point of the OP's thread. You are mistaking the point of the thread with your own point. (which I understand is that the OP's lack of one on one time with her daughter is confusing to you and you would make different decisions re: after school activities? Is that right?)

The OP did not say she has absolutely no time with her DD, she does have time with her, but it is never unadulterated time paced around DD's needs and enjoyment because baby's needs come first. She would like to set aside a little time with her daughter to do this, a whole unhurried day in fact and as weekends aren't easy because they are shared with DD's Father and OP's partner does not have a weekend off until July she thinks a day off reception is warranted.

She does lots of activities because she thinks they are good for her child and fun. She does spend afternoons and quality time in her DD's company, she just acknowledges this is frequently paced around her baby's needs and wants one whole relaxed day.

My kids aren't in school yet so I don't have this problem but I completely relate to craving the space to focus on my eldest for a day and I have an easy baby.

Now can someone explain to me why so many people seem so very cross with the OP? I really really just don't get it.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 24/05/2013 22:39

Theyoni

I don't feel especially angry. I think one day is no biggie

I suppose i personally feel a bit unomfortable when parents start translating common emotions (like feeling guilty, anxious or missing their child) into a behaviour that it could be argued, gives their child a message that isn't in the child's best interests.

Such as:

School isn't important

That having a younger sibling is a bad thing for the older child

As i said, i can't answer your question for anyone else. Those are just my thoughts. I just wonder why the OP posted if she's not feeling some conflict about it.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 24/05/2013 22:41

....... And sorry, to add. The thing that I think strikes some people, is that one day could turn into lots of days, if it is serving the mum's needs.

Hope this makes sense. I know it sounds a bit psycho bably

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 24/05/2013 22:46

Tantrums is right. This is a silly and self indulgent thing to do, and sends the wrong messages about school, about siblings and pretty much everything.

MrsFawley · 24/05/2013 23:01

Haven't read the whole thread but not sure why OP is being criticised for taking her DD out for one day when many families take children out for a week to go on holiday.

If it was authorised I can't see the problem. I know someone who took her child out of school for two day's with head's permission when family were visiting.

Theyoniwayisnorthwards · 24/05/2013 23:08

How are we getting from "DD and I would enjoy a day to be together relaxing and playing undistracted" to "school is not important and younger siblings are a bad think"? Quite a leap.

Theyoniwayisnorthwards · 24/05/2013 23:08

Bad THING, obviously. But it is also a bad think.

Floggingmolly · 24/05/2013 23:13

Because school should take precedence over wanting to play with no distractions.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 24/05/2013 23:16

Theyoni

I don't think we will convince each other. Fair do's.

rockerrock · 24/05/2013 23:23

Do it.

Just don't come on here complaining when she's not progressing well at school.

Because one day will turn into two, which will turn into three and then it's a habit. And whilst she's not doing quadratic equations now, every day at school builds up to the 'big' stuff and the big exams.

We should be grateful for a free education system and not stick two fingers up at it whenever we so chose.

And those of you who see no problem with pulling a sickie at work for a 'fun' day off don't deserve to have jobs. It's fraud, plain and simple. Bet you'd be the first people on here complaining if your children's teacher or your GP were off sick...

rockerrock · 24/05/2013 23:23

choose not chose.

Sleep deprived...

MrsFawley · 24/05/2013 23:24

And School should therefore also take precedence over people's desire to take holidays when they choose

MrsFawley · 24/05/2013 23:25

Take the day, just be above board and request it through the headteacher

MeiMeiMeiMei · 24/05/2013 23:28

YANBU.

I hope you took your little girl out for the day and had a magical time Smile

Thymeout · 24/05/2013 23:28

And she's got the whole of next week to arrange with her DP to have a 1-1 day with DD because it's half term.

And OP still hasn't said if she's going to lie to the school about the time off.

Original poster
LittleLisa78 · 24/05/2013 23:58

Yes she's 6 in September. It will get easier to spend one on one time with her as younger DD gets older and also less necessary as younger DD can join in more so it isn't a 'dangerous precedent.' We didn't have our day today but will be doing in a few weeks so I'll have to apologise now for the downfall of the entire education system as a result...

OP posts:
christinarossetti · 25/05/2013 00:26

I don't think the education system will collapse, but there were probably better uses for your time than starting a AIBU about something you have already made your mind up about, it seems to me.