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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let dd have a day off school because i miss her?

465 replies

LittleLisa78 · 22/05/2013 22:45

DD is in reception. DP works shifts and doesn't have a weekend off til July but does have many weekdays off. Youngest DD is 1 and very full on so elder DD has not had any real one on one time with me since she was born and has been asking repeatedly for it but it's difficult with dps shifts and extra curricular activities after school. She and I both just want a full day with each other having fun and doing things it's difficult to do when I have younger DD to look after too. AIBU to consider letting her have a day off school to do this?

OP posts:
mrsjay · 24/05/2013 15:21

Well I am certainly happy to change it to "behaving like an asshole".

Sigh Ok then using language like behaving like an asshole is quite bullying defensive behaviour imo , AIBU would be a boring board if the OP said AIBU to do X Y Z majority yes would be pages and pages of yes/no

everlong · 24/05/2013 15:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsjay · 24/05/2013 15:27

the thread has been an interesting one and I haven't seen anybody behaving like an asshole either

Theyoniwayisnorthwards · 24/05/2013 15:30

Ah the old "I'm not being an asshole you're too sensitive" line. I speak as I find, I'm just being honest etc..

Shorthand for "I see no reason for speaking to you with respect because my opinion is more important"

everlong · 24/05/2013 15:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theyoniwayisnorthwards · 24/05/2013 15:35

MrsJay, as I am not the OP and my parenting/lifestyle/partner/personality is not under attack I have no reason to be defensive.

I was careful to criticise the behaviour not the individuals.

But I do think some posters are behaving like assholes in attacking the OP quite nastily over NOTHING.

However I apologise if you feel bullied. I didn't mean to make you feel that way.

mrsjay · 24/05/2013 15:38

However I apologise if you feel bullied. I didn't mean to make you feel that way.

I didnt feel bullied at all all i said was calling people assholes is a bit of a contradiction .

Theyoniwayisnorthwards · 24/05/2013 15:44

Good, I'm glad about that.

I didn't say they are assholes. I said they are behaving like assholes in attacking the OP. Which I stand by.
Also I enjoy the word asshole.

And now I must bow out of the debate as DS2 has puked down my cleavage in protest at all this mumsnetting. He thinks I'm an asshole.

Good luck OP.

edwinamerckx · 24/05/2013 15:54

"Duvet Days"?????

FFS, and we wonder why we can't compete with the Chinese and Germans as a country...

TantrumsAndBalloons · 24/05/2013 15:54

All the people that are saying "I took my DC out of school for 1 day, we had a lovely time, just do it" seem to be deliberatley missing the actual point of this.

The OP said herself that as her dd does all the after school activities, her DPs shifts are what they are and she has a high needs baby (what is that by the way?) then she is unable to spend this time with her daughter at any other time and that her dd has not had this one to one time for 15 months.

Therefore, I can only imagine that this situation is unlikely to change in the foreseeable future. So in 6 months, or 8 months or even in 6 weeks the OP will be in the exact same situation Wanting to spend one on one time with her dd because she "misses her"

So, as taking her out of school is the only time in the world ever that she can have this entire day of local activities its not too much of a stretch to imagine that it will happen again. And again.
Or that the ops dd will think "oh mum hasn't spent any time with me, I'll ask for another mummy day"

Those of you saying you did it for one day and it was fine....did you also have children doing after school clubs 5 days a week? And a partner working shifts? And a baby that prevented you from spending any time with your child for 15 months?

For me, the point is, if the OP decides to do this one day and not make any changes to her life, then she will always be in that situation.
And a day off every 6 months because you cant give up a club, cant find a babysitter or because, despite having a family holiday, your dd is apparently desperate to do local activities is quite honestly bizarre.

everlong · 24/05/2013 16:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bobyan · 24/05/2013 16:08

Yep.

SgtTJCalhoun · 24/05/2013 16:15

I hope you're taking your day today OP and that's why you are not here Smile.

morethanpotatoprints · 24/05/2013 16:33

Ditto, OP.

If you are having your day today, good for you. its the nicest day for ages.

Hope you have a lovely day, but a warning. This is how I started, not for the same reason, but my dd was tired from all her extra curricular activities.

She is at home everyday now and the extra curricular have become curriculum Grin

You know whats best for your dd, you don't want a bunch of people telling you that you are wrong.

cory · 24/05/2013 17:56

"So AF, there's been a girl in DD's class who only went back today from Easter half term because she has excema. Should I have a go at her mum for all the filling in the gaps the teacher is going to have to do which, by your logic, will detract from DD's education?"

The reason I feel a bit Hmm about the idea is that I do have that child who is frequently absent for unavoidable health reasons, I know how much disruption it causes to her class, I know how much extra work it makes for the teacher. Naturally I expect everybody involved to take it with good grace, because dd can't help being ill and disabled. But being very aware of the disruption factor, I would be very wary of letting a child of mine be off without a valid reason.

AnyFucker · 24/05/2013 18:23

Cory, and so should a child with genuine health reasons for absences be given special consideration

A child taken out of school because her mother is unable to prioritise other areas of her life appropriately.....not so much

Floggingmolly · 24/05/2013 19:11

you don't want a bunch of people telling you that you are wrong
It's the risk you run when you ask a bunch of people to validate your decisions actually, potatoprints
Hardly necessary if you're convinced you're in the right, is it?

mrsjay · 24/05/2013 19:41

For me, the point is, if the OP decides to do this one day and not make any changes to her life, then she will always be in that situation.

that and all of what TAB said I didnt want to quote it all, the special mummy day is temp solution to a longterm problem the high needs baby will turn into a high needs toddler and so on will the girl get any time with her mum at all, I feel sorry for them actually cut short after school guff spend some time with your girl before she resents you op and her little sister,

mrsjay · 24/05/2013 19:43

Most sensible post of the thread goes to tantrums
To me that post sums it up.

yeah it did

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 24/05/2013 20:35

I agree with redsky

One day - no biggie, but why is the OP so hesitant she is posting here?

I also wonder if there's a danger OP, that your feelings of guilt about having a second child might convey to your DD2 that there is something for her to be upset about?

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 24/05/2013 20:35

Sorry, your DD1

formicadinosaur · 24/05/2013 21:05

Shes only in reception and probabaly doesn't need to even be in formal education, her needs are more important then the schools.

jamdonut · 24/05/2013 21:13

I'm with TantrumsAndBalloons.

But OP I think you have already made your mind up.

SuburbanRhonda · 24/05/2013 21:20

It's not the school's needs, formica.

It's the legal requirement for her child to be educated, at school or elsewhere.

Floggingmolly · 24/05/2013 21:28

And she's six, apparently.