Tina Mallone Pregnant at 50

[Lickitysplit]

AIBU to think it is crazy that Tina Malolne (from Shameless) is pregnant at 50 by donor egg?

Feeling the Sisterhood yet again on here

So anyone aged 50 shame on you for wanting a child. You are selfish and entitled if you weren't able to conceive naturally, eh? And generally you are past it, should stop being an embarrassment, get a blue rinse and hide yourself away. But if you have testicles it's perfectly alright then?

This is not a shame when the child is wanted and loved. I don't 'feel sorry for the kid'. I feel sorry for the kid with the absent drug dealing 21 year old father or the young mum who wants to go out and party all the time and leaves her kids with the grandparents, if we are going to make huge judgements.

hope it goes well for her

my greatgrandma has her last at 47

personally at 40 i feel tired at the thought of it

My sentiments exactly bringback.

No matter the age of a parent, if the child is brought into the world in love and is wanted and cherished, it is a lucky child.

Age doesn't necessarily mean a great parent..be she 18 or 50, lets celebrate great parenting. There are many parents of all ages who are selfish and put the needs of themselves above those of their children.

Those are the parents who should be criticised.

Exactly Everlong

This just feels like a non issue to me. So what? If the child is wanted and loved then all well and good.

As for saying that the mother could drop dead, well, couldn't we all. There's a poster on page 10 making just that point about her own mother (forgive me I can't scroll back and namecheck you).

People do have the ability to twist words out of context on here, don?t they?

My comment in reference to women with disabilities having babies had the added line of ?with a life limiting condition,? i.e. I took this to mean that someone who had a condition that meant they are likely to die prematurely i.e. soon, having a baby. Of course I don?t have issue with women with disabilities having babies, I am one fgs. But yes, a younger woman with a condition (and it wouldn?t need to be a disability, it could be a terminal illness) which means they don?t have long left to live having a baby would be selfish IMO.

And as everlong said, where do we draw the line? So TM is pregnant at 50, is it ok at 60? 70? 80? As long as the woman gets her baby does it really matter? Love isn?t everything you know.

I don't quite understand why people can't see that it's a negative thing for a child to have a higher chance of their parents dying/becoming seriously unwell while the child is at a younger than average age? Surely this would be everyone's worst nightmare?! (except of course people with awful abusive parents) What am I missing?

People seem to think that it is anyone's 'right' to have a baby no matter what their circumstances are Heffalump

I find that point of view baffling.

But if they want a child so badly, it is surely because they want to love them and give them the best they possibly could. So surely they would not wish the heartache and trauma of seeing a parent ill/dying at possibly such a young age? At the end of the day its each persons individual choice, but I don't understand it.

If we all lived our lives by what ifs, none of us would get past the front door.

Life is unpredictable for every one of us. It's a gift and should be celebrated.

If, God forbid, I were to die today, I would be leaving behind a 15 yr old and a baby of 23 weeks. Both children are loved and I am blessed to have been fortunate enough to have them but the condition my mother died of, at 52, can be hereditary. If I lived my life thinking I may die as a young woman, my children would not have been born. Certainly not the baby, by all accounts but I love him and he is wanted. I doubt my DP would die at around the same time, so my children would have him, as well as our extended family.

Most people who have children, whatever age they may be, have some kind of family to help, should a parent pass.

Each of the opinions on this thread are valid, as we all have that basic right, and we all, quite rightly, have the power to choose the life we choose, however it's unsettling to hear some posters say that women in their 50's should not be afforded the same rights as younger women. That's what gets the hairs on my neck bristling.

Our lives, our bloody decision.

And if a woman is fit and healthy and takes care of herself at 50 it IS her right.

Soon we will be able to tell our predisposition for all sorts of illnesses through genetic testing. Some of which we may be able to take action on (like Ms Jolie), some not.

If we take the argument about not having children later in life in case of illness or death as valid, then the logical extension of that would be that every prospective parent (although obviously only the women as apparently, its different for men) should have all available tests and give up on having a family if they get anything but the best risk rating.

I hate the judging of other women's choices so much.

I agree with Feegle's last 2 posts.

But if you were to die young that would be an unusual situation. People dying in their 60s 70s and 80s is 'normal' and much more common. To me its about the increased chance of dying or becoming seriously unwell before the child is old enough to look after themselves that I find worrying. Of course it's each persons decision, but it doesn't mean that others can't have an opinion and make their own decisions based on that opinion.

Feegle I don't think the two points of view will agree over this. Those who think 50 is too old, using donor eggs, will continue to do so. I don't think it's right.

I'm 50. I'm fit, healthy, financially stable. But there is no way I would have the energy to deal with a newborn, toddler and teenager when I'm in my 60's. I may love the baby, possibly live long enough not to be a burden until it's at least in it's 20's, but there is no way I would be a good enough parent for it. It would be a purely selfish act if I were to have a baby at my age now.

I agree Feegle

And lambzig in my first post I made it clear I feel the same way about an older father too, it's on page 10.

Feeble, cross posted.

What I can't understand is how people are so sure they know the right decision that other women should be making.

I wonder if those same people had not been able to have their children at a young age, perhaps through infertility or not meeting anyone, they would just say "oh no, I am too old".

I smiled reading a previous post where the poster said "we had a deadline of age 38 and if we hadn't conceived by then would have stopped trying". DH and I had the same deadline (along with an earlier strong conviction we would never have IVF), until I hit 38 and that deadline seemed silly. (My DC were born at 42 and 45).

Feegle sorry, when will I learn about autocorrect?