Tina Mallone Pregnant at 50

[Lickitysplit]

AIBU to think it is crazy that Tina Malolne (from Shameless) is pregnant at 50 by donor egg?

Did many women have the menopause in "the olden days" just thinking that if the average lifespan was about 40-45 then surely the majority of women who still be fertile when they died?

Also given no contraception would women have just produced baby after baby with only breastfeeding spacing children so would have spent most of their adult lives without periods?

Is the menopause a relatively new thing? Is it an evolutionary adaption, for example, women who lived longer and had the menopause and therefore weren't bearing their own children could help their children bring up their children so they tended to survive more so were at a better evolutionary advantage given that up until recently 50% of children died before age 5 or something.

Anyway back to TM, good luck to her really.

OP, YABU to judge on her behalf.

YANBU if you choose NOT to embark on a pregnancy when you are 50 .

It would not/will not be my choice, but then again I had 4 boys between 37 and 44 and that is quite enough, thank you very much.

Biology is a bit of a non-argument IMO, for many reasons. There are so many ways in which we manipulate what nature 'intended' (for the record, natrue does not intend anything, but via evolution we veeeery, very slowly devolped the way we did), so why not in this way? And yes, a 50 year old father would not face this amount of scrutiny over his choice to father a child at his age.

There is a theory, that biologically speaking human females should have their babies in their late teens, fathered by an 'older' male @25-30 who would be an experienced hunter and by virtue of still being alive had proven that his gene were good material. Next 15 years are spend with child-rearing, then by the time she's 30 she is a Wise Woman and may take much younger man as a toy boy to teach him the way of the world ie sex .
That scenario is so NOT what my live panned out like!!

And what sweetkitty said - so true.

Once you're over 35 you are on borrowed time, biologically and naturally spaking

My mum had me at 35 and died when I was 10. My best friend's mum was 44 when she had her and is still alive and well and her dad was 54 and only died last year (we are both 33.) I can't see how in modern terms 50 is hugely different to 40 in terms of general health and life expectancy. Good luck to you kitchen and other 'older mums.' I am not an older mother but am having a baby in less than conventional circumstances. I am happy, confident and content in my decisions.

Oh fuck, I'm gonny just lie down and die...I'm soon to be no use to man nor fucking beast!

Nonono, feegle, you should enjoy the freedom being an Old Crone brings

Pacific - I've just read your first post on this thread. Ummm you're my new guru wummin crush I think I love you. fancy having a baby

Gail, really?
I had ds at 39, normal birth, and no more tired than the average younger mum.
I must live in a different universe where only young perky women are allowed to give birth.

I'm not sure 50 isn't old. I have two friends with older parents and now we are in our 30's one is caring for her mother and her father died and she really feels sad about it. She has older siblings and she was the last shot at parenthood. She doesn't feel like she has a close relationship with her siblings because there is a 17 year ages gap.

The other one doesn't mind so much but she has expressed concern of their ailing health, parents are now in their late 70's. She wouldn't have to be thinking of care homes (they are getting to the stage they will be unable to live by themselves in the next 5 years) and such at this age if her parents weren't so old.

I understand these things may happen to younger parents but it is more common with older ones. I'm not saying either is right or wrong. Both of these friends were very embarrassed at secondary school because quite often their parents got mistaken for their grandparents.

I also know a woman who had triplets at 60 (we were on a fertility board together). I do think that was very irresponsible and unfair to her children.

Personally DH and I had a cut off age of 38, if we hadn't been able to conceive by then we would have stopped trying. I know now many people have babies in their mid/late 40's but we personally didn't feel that would be fair on any future children.

Should read. 'I'm not sure, 50 isn't old imo.'

I was 27 and knackered. I don't think age comes into it much when it comes to recovery.

If anything I'd probably have more stamina/inner resources now I'm in my 40s.

I've just realised a further problem with people banging on about what's best for 'the child'

Firstly we infantilise 'children' into adulthood - so what if your mum dies at 20 ? - they're an adult.

And secondly this is the UK, they'd be fine. It's just so parochial first world when more than half the works probably lose their parents when they're teenagers.

We're just so up our own westernised arses sometimes.

I also don't believe anyone has a 'right' to a child but it certainly doesn't mean being 50 excludes you for age. Women give birth naturally til about 52.

None of my friends who lost parents at twenty thought that was normal, natural or fair. Of course, they were totally up their westernised asses about it all. Would you feel ok if you thought you might die just after your kids left school?

My mother had me at 28 but loved the bottle more than her kids and buggered off when I was 14

14 years of a GOODother would have been smashing ....

Not mad on the woman but I won't judge her choices

Shakes head sadly at the pig ignorance of Laurie's comment.

Personally, I would not choose to have a child at 50, and would not like to be the child of a parent (male or female) who had me at 50. I understand that we are all living longer, but I think it's not just about the amount of time we have with our parents, it's about the quality too. Obviously anyone can become unwell at any point, but statistically it is more likely to happen to an older person due to the aging process. Now as an adult I spend time with my mum and dad doing things we enjoy, I am so glad we have this time where neither are having to care for each other to just enjoy our relationships. Due to the fact they had me in their 20's we should hopefully have this time for longer.

I personally do agree that the menopause happens for a reason, to ensure that the human race continues to thrive by having the next generation being looked after by the (statistically speaking) most physically fit mothers. I also think that now society has evolved to the point of monogamous relationships where the father is expected to stay and raise his children, it doesn't make sense for a man to father a child at this age either.

I don't judge anyone for their decisions on this subject, but have made my own because of these points.

Blimey, I've heard it all now. Not wanting your mum to die when you're 20 means you're up your own Westernised arse?

What the......

Laurie please come back and say that you didn't mean it that way or something.

What I mean is that all over the world children are losing their parents when they're really young and us worrying about adults losing their parents is another way we have in the West of prolonging childhood.

It's a gift to have your parents in the vast majority of the world past early teenagehood.

Obviously having your parents die is hard at any age (mine are dead) but its not necessarily harder at 20, nor have you done wrong to your child only giving them 20 years.

There's so much judgement of other women's choices on these boards.

Tina whatserface is being criticised for only being able to give her child 20 or 30 years

In the 7 years I've been on here I've seen women criticised for:

Having children too young
Having children too old
Having children while having a job
Having children when not being wealthy
Having children when the baby might be disabled
Having children by choice, alone or using a donor
Not having children
Having too many children

Ffs, enough already.

Any child being brought up in this country and by this woman who has means is automatically a lucky little fucker compared to the vast majority of children living in shite round the world.

I wouldn't do it personally but if it's what her and her dh want and they know they can cope financially and emotionally hats off to him.

I don't know if in here position I would have told the world her gastric band has surely got to add a risk of complications.

I would never judge an older mother on her age so I think it's really insulting on this thread that older mothers have been declared the best mothers and mothers in their twenties have been compared to baby ps mum.

Any child being brought up in this country and by this woman who has means is automatically a lucky little fucker compared to the vast majority of children living in shite round the world.

yes.

I wouldn't like to be parenting a teenager like ds1 when I was mid 60s, we had some pretty tough years with him.