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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to admit I find days like today hard

190 replies

ilikehomecookedfood · 12/05/2013 19:58

Wet, miserable Sunday (following on from a wet miserable Saturday) I have not spoken with a soul all weekend Blush I find I reach this point on a Sunday and I feel strange and empty and really, really sad.

I know I'm not being unreasonable - but am I the only one?

OP posts:
ReluctantlyBeingYoniMassaged · 12/05/2013 19:59

Have you been out at all over the weekend?

Fancydrawers · 12/05/2013 19:59

Why haven't you spoken to anyone?

KitKatShoes · 12/05/2013 20:00

Sundays are depressing

ChoudeBruxelles · 12/05/2013 20:01

Have you been out at all?

Original poster
ilikehomecookedfood · 12/05/2013 20:03

How do you mean out? I've popped out to get bits of shopping?

Fancydrawers - because there hasn't been anyone to speak to. I live alone. Friends have been busy with their own families.

OP posts:
ChoudeBruxelles · 12/05/2013 20:18

I meant out of the house. Dh works a lot of weekends. I fill them up with park, walks, trips to museum etc or I go crazy

Original poster
ilikehomecookedfood · 12/05/2013 20:20

I have been out of the house, yes, but the weather hasn't been good and besides, it is still hard not speaking to/interacting with anybody.

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 12/05/2013 20:22

If this is a common thing for you, then you need to do something about it, because it's making you sad.

You are not alone, there are countless people that live alone that get out and about at weekends. There are so many things you could do, social clubs, various sports or activities, voluntary work for a charity. You just need to think about what it is you might like to be doing and then look into that.

Original poster
ilikehomecookedfood · 12/05/2013 20:25

Thanks, CloudsandTrees. Unfortunately getting out and about at weekends, and feeling lonely, aren't quite distinctive - by that I mean that filling your time isn't the same as not being lonely.

In any case, most events and so on tend to be on weekday evenings around here and weekends are centred around families.

It can be difficult.

OP posts:
Cakecrumbsinmybra · 12/05/2013 20:29

Can you exercise? Lots of exercise classes on at the weekend, which can be friendly. Walking or running group? At my local gym they have a jogging session on a sat am that anyone can go to.

leobear · 12/05/2013 20:30

I really feel for you - I went through periods like this in my late 20s. I remember that empty feeling on a Sunday all too well. I'm so sorry, I don't really have any advice, I just wanted to say I understand!

Original poster
ilikehomecookedfood · 12/05/2013 20:30

lol I couldn't run the length of myself! Thanks, though :) I do exercise but find it quite solitary on the whole.

OP posts:
Original poster
ilikehomecookedfood · 12/05/2013 20:30

Leo - thanks, that's the only reason I posted, really! I sort of feel like I'm not quite 'real' by this time on a Sunday.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 12/05/2013 20:33

You definitely need a hobby. Even a fun exercise class like Zumba is a social thing.

How old are you? Do you need some friends? Any chance you're in Hertfordshire?

aderynlas · 12/05/2013 20:34

Sorry that your weekend has been miserable op, and as you say the weather hasnt helped. Thanks

leobear · 12/05/2013 20:36

I think it is probably more common than you imagine, my DH says he went through exactly the same periods. I live miles away from my family, and I got to a stage where all my friends had settled down with husbands, kids etc, and I felt as though weekends were off limits for socialising. I used to start worrying about the weekend on a Tuesday!!

My only real tips, for what they are worth, are t treat yourself at home - make sure you have nice food in, treat yourself to nice long baths, watch TV. I really hope this doesn't sound patronising, but I found box sets quite good, especially things like Cold Feet - made me feel less lonely. Good luck - you might be surprised at how things can change.

Original poster
ilikehomecookedfood · 12/05/2013 20:36

Thanks. I do have hobbies and friends, but unfortunately both aren't really around at weekends so much, although I do go horse-riding the weather meant this wasn't practical this weekend. Besides, it's for 2 hours on a Saturday morning - people forget that still leaves you with around 15 hours to fill (not a dig at anybody here of course, just a general observation.)

I know people like to try and help but hobbies are not the cure-all people think they are :) they fill in an hour, two or three if you are lucky, but you are awake around 14/16 hours in a day and that is a LONG time to fill alone.

OP posts:
NinaHeart · 12/05/2013 20:36

I sometimes feel like this on the weekends my H is with his children. Weekends are definitely family days and yes, can be difficult for those without families.
I have to say though, that at other times I relish being home alone and can do what I like- choose what I eat, if I go shopping or not, wax bits of me or dye my hair without being aked what I am doing, read a book all day if I want.... Small advantages perhaps, but definitely there.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 12/05/2013 20:37

Do you work in the week? No brothers, sisters or anything?

Original poster
ilikehomecookedfood · 12/05/2013 20:38

I live miles away from my family, and I got to a stage where all my friends had settled down with husbands, kids etc, and I felt as though weekends were off limits for socialising.

yep this is me! Lovely friends and quite a few of them but they pretty much all use weekends for family time (I understand this by the way, I'm not criticising) but the problem is when you explain you've been alone all weekend people assume you haven't got any friends, and I have! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
ilikehomecookedfood · 12/05/2013 20:38

Yes, I work in the week and I don't have siblings.

OP posts:
leobear · 12/05/2013 20:40

I agree, I'm not sure hobbies do help, really. Obviously it's better than not having hobbies, but I could never work out how you made friends at an exercise class?! Maybe that's just me, though. I guess something like a political party, a church, charity may deliver more of a social life, but you would have to be into one of those things for real, for it to work.

LaurieFairyCake · 12/05/2013 20:41

You definitely need to turn weekends into a treat time for you- nice shopping, drive in the country, good cake, mini staycations at home where you posh up your bathroom for spa treatments, really good films - theres loads of fab mini series that you might not have seen.

If you ride can you help out with Riding for the Disabled? Fab charity.

leobear · 12/05/2013 20:41

I'm an only child as well

LaurieFairyCake · 12/05/2013 20:42

My sil has made a load if new mates at Zumba - actual friends - apparently it's really social.