To be totally horrified that women on a parenting website are giving advice to a violent rapist on how to see his child?

[Heleneahandcart1]

I have no words, I am beyond disgusted

www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/advice-support-40/serious-stuff-43/929210-just-out-prison-want-see-my-daughter.html

[BegoniaBampot]

I'm sure he is making it all up, it is all quite cleverly done but a total wind up. He is getting his jollies taunting the rape and DV victims over there.

[KoreRenati]

"How come we always end up in the press for completely meaningless shite but this stuff gets overlooked?

After all, that is the website that so many HVs recommend..."

Quite, essentially NHs gets endorsed by officials, and yet gets to fly under the radar when posts like that get left to stand.

Wonder how much of it is that a site women go to because they are told to is ok, but a website women look for on their own initiative is wrong?

[SchroSawMargeryDaw]

Kore I am totally tempted to tweet that thread to the papers, however I am not sure any would listen as this is a MN thread!

We're lovely honestly or sane at the very least, it annoys the hell out of me that it's NH that gets praised.

[IRCL]

I posted on said thread. I was in the fuck off camp.

Can't actually believe some mothers were advising a convicted violent rapist on ways to see his daughter.

Fucked up beyond belief.

A particular poster made my blood boil. trying to find a reason why I actually still use that site

Crazynana - if you are who I think you are then let me tell you I miss your posts on there!

[SchroSawMargeryDaw]

Just wondering, is the person who made a comment and said "just sayin" at the end of it a MNetter?

I seriously suspected they were!

[MummytoKatie]

I'm as fluffy a liberal as they come and yet... There is something about that bloke that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Whether because he is a complete troll or because he is a sociopath I don't know but either way my reaction was pretty strong.

Personally I would suggest we meet in a neutral (but private) location. Take a friend with a mobile and hide him / her in a different room with instructions not to interfere but to call the police if worried.

And then tell him that dd has a new daddy now as I have a new husband and the three of us are a very happy family. I would explain what a wonderful man my new bloke is - how successful his career is, how well he supports us all, how much my dd loves him, how she understands that he isn't her biological father but she understands what makes a daddy and that is him. I might also muse about what a wonderful husband he is and how giving he is to me. (All to reassure Sam that "his" daughter is safe, well and happy of course.) There may even be a cheeky comment about how good new husband is in bed.

I would also explain to Sam how it wouldn't be in dd's best interests to know her "father" is a rapist and an abuser and any contact with him would not to be to her benefit and that I am sure he understands. Although I would definitely congratulate Sam on his "little job" as a security guard.

By which point hopefully Sam would have attacked me (violent triggers are definitely still there) and broken the odd bone, my friend would have called the police and I could wave him off cheerfully for another 5 years in prison.

And it would never occur to Sam that I did it on purpose as he has no idea what a pant would do for their child.

[MummytoKatie]

Ahem.

Parent - not pant!

[FudgeyCookie]

Considering he was violent to his ex, how is he Ben allowed contact with her?! I was sexually abused by my sisters dad, so my step dad, from 10 to 12yrs old. He was released on licence last year but with strict conditions around contact - eg no contact at all with myself my mum or my sister, not allowed within certain areas for instance he is banned from entering certain places around our homes, he's not allowed cameras etc.
He's gone back to prison for searching on the Facebook for people, breaking his terms.

This Sam says he was also convicted of gbh and theft I think it was, NO WAY would being allowed to contact his ex be part of his license surely?!

[MsJupiterJones]

He's either a troll or not reformed at all. So much aggression in his responses to those telling him to leave well alone.

And the DV & rape apologism and excuses: if I were to tell you that I had slept with the person before on numerous occasions and this time we were both drunk, indeed she was drunk enough to not be capable of giving consent it may change your opinion of me.

Oh it was just that kind of rape, when the woman brings it on herself? Right. That's ok then.

And the responses: I believe as her father he should do everything in his power to be part of his daughters life and I wish him all the luck in the world. Shudder. So glad MN is not like that.

[LayMizzRarb]

I think he is a total liar, and is writing on the thread to get his jollies. Everytime the attention dies down, he adds another little juicy detail to get everyone going again; attacking him him, and arguing amongst themselves.
Sweeping offices for bugging equipment? He has been watching too many 80's films . does he think he's Tom Cruise or something? A total fantasist, who adds more and more detail to each fact as the thread goes on.

Anyone who believes what he is saying needs to re read what he has written. I'm not a member of that website, and would be banned if I did write on that thread.

[SchroSawMargeryDaw]

Jupiter That kind of rape is no better but he wouldn't have got 12 years for that...

I do believe it to an extent, I think he is a fantasist but I think the basic details ring true.

[Binkyridesagain]

He's a sick bastard!

I can't believe the level of apologists on there.

[BigBlockSingsong]

Quite a few of those responses are saying in their shoes they would say no.

[KoreRenati]

I think there's no doubt he's a troll, it's the responses that scare me

[MsJupiterJones]

Schro that is true but he's giving the detail to excuse himself, to say ah ha, not such a horrible rapey type now am I?

I also think it's true because he doesn't seem to realise the stuff he's saying is actually making him sound worse to anyone with a brain. Maybe he has enhanced some details (job/illiteracy) but people can move through education quite quickly so he could have done the MA.

I do believe in reform and second chances but in the case of violent crime the victims should always come first - including his child - and there is no way in which his presence will enhance her life.

[SchroSawMargeryDaw]

Completely agree with all of that.

Even if he is a total troll just looking for a rise, I think that the fundamental details are still true and he realises what he is doing, perhaps to justify himself, make himself feel better, have "power" over random strangers?

Either way, troll or not. He sounds dangerous.

[LayMizzRarb]

When he described fellow prisoners , drug dealers, murderers etc as being 'lower than low' , that is when I would have happily thrown boiling water over his cock.

[Binkyridesagain]

If it is a real poster and not a troll, he thrives on power over women, rape, abuse and then posting on a female dominated site, lording it over those that do not agree with him.

He, imo, is a very dangerous individual and I hope that the mother of his child has the courage and strength to stand up to him.

[Sallystyle]

They have moved it again to edit it.

I think it would be easier for them to remove it for good.

[Binkyridesagain]

Its still there Samu2

[LadyBeagleEyes]

He's definitely a troll and I'm sure he probably trolls on MN too.

[Dinkysmummy]

I can't believe the audacity!

And I sure as hell can't believe anyone would be happy with setting a meeting for their child with a convicted rapist....

[SchroSawMargeryDaw]

It's not there.

Can you only view it if you're a member now?

[Binkyridesagain]

I noticed that you now need to log on to see it Schro, are NMs now worried about the bad publicity this could generate?

The last few posts on there were critising the Mods, deleting posters for stating their disgust of the OP but leaving the OPs aggressive, disgusting posts standing.

Thankgod for Mumsnet. It might be a 'nest of vipers' sometimes, but at least the majority of posters and the Mods have some intelligence and decency about them.

[SchroSawMargeryDaw]

Can someone take screen shots of it please? (I'm not a member)

That thread needs to get shown, HVs need to stop recommending that website, it's disgusting and dangerous.