To lie to the church about our godparents?

[bumblebeesue]

We're having our child christened, mostly at the insistence of our parents, but also because it's a nice day and (I suspect) it means more to DH than he is letting on.

I got the paperwork to fill in today and 'godparents' have to be christened with at least one being confirmed.

Even though I'm not sure what I believe, choosing godparents is still important to me as people who will be there for our children should anything happen to us... But out of our two best couple friends (one being my sibling and his wife, and the other being best friends of ours for 20 years) only one is christened. (and confirmed)

I don't want to have to choose other people just because they are christened. I want to choose the very best people for my child in the future. (plus I know that they all really want to do it and would be amazing.)

So AIBU to just tick 'christened' even though they aren't? And what are the chances of being caught out?

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Thanksgiving services can be quite nice so I've heard.

[Snowflakepie]

I don't think there is any standing in law on who cares for your children or makes decisions on their behalf, based on godparents. My DD is not christened as we don't believe, it is all written in our wills instead. YABU for having a religious ceremony if you don't hold with it, and all the more so if you have to lie to the priest. I may not believe in it all but I do think there is something wrong about that, sorry.

[bumblebeesue]

I see the obvious ethical question... and if you're very religious then it must seem an awful question to ask...

But for me (though not my in laws or my DH) it isn't about entering a church or being guided in religion, it's about making people happy, which I'm more than willing to do, I'd just like to have the godparents I want as well.

Iyswim.

[K8Middleton]

You will be struck by lightening and be damned for all eternity. Or nothing will happen

Your morals are your own business but I wouldn't be having a sham religious ceremony in the first place. Not even if the church is really pretty, the grandparents will be pleased, it will get them into a better school and the vicar is amazingly photogenic or whatever other reason. But if you do, well... I can't quite work up the energy to care and I have tried. A tiny bit.

[Snowflakepie]

Oh and my SIL had a naming ceremony for her oldest DC, it was the most cringeworthy event I think I have ever attended. Have a family party to welcome the newborn, but please, give it a rest with the faux ceremonies.

[catsrus]

my children were not christened because we do not belong to a church - they are supposed to be GOD-parents!!! they are the people who PROMISE to support your child in being brought up a CHRISTIAN and as a member of that particular church. You are asking them to also lie during the ceremony - what will they say when they have to make the promises? will they say the words they don't believe or mean and not think twice? nice honest people then? . Basically you want your child to start their life surrounded by liars

We did appoint people to be our DCs guardians should we die - that is a totally separate issue.

If you want a lovely special naming ceremony day then there are lots of secular non-religious celebrants who can do a lovely ceremony for you (like this one). A friend of mine did her own for her ds and it was lovely.

Be honest!

[bumblebeesue]

And I know it's not law or anything, and we will make a will.. It just seems silly to me to choose people I wouldn't choose just because they're christened.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Hey, Just Do It OP !
Don't ask us first !

[OutragedFromLeeds]

I think it's a bit risky. What if He smites you/one of the godparents?!

[JeanPaget]

Will it really please your, presumably religious, parents if you lie, and go though a ceremony which ultimately means nothing to you?

[bumblebeesue]

I'm not having a naming ceremony or anything else...she is being christened. I'm just questioning myself on the godparents issue as I'm worried about being caught

[SneakyBiscuitEater]

Jesus will know and I suspect he won't be happy but I guess he will forgive you?

I think this is balls ^ and that's why neither my kids or I are christened.

[bumblebeesue]

Outragedfromleeds - surely He has bigger fish to fry? :p

[catsrus]

CHRISTened - as in joining the CHRISTian church! why would you make your dcs members of a group you didn't agree with??????

Its not a naming ceremony its a JOINING ceremony!

[K8Middleton]

I think the key question here is... WWJD?

[Floggingmolly]

You're confusing Godparents with guardians. If you want a nice day out, why not just have a party? There's a hell of a lot more to a Christening than a nice day out.

[OutragedFromLeeds]

I don't know bumble, His record for smiting the right people is somewhat dubious......

I'm fairly certain telling lies makes the baby Jesus cry.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Honestly if there is a God do you think she cares about tick boxes on a CofE christening form ? No, she has bigger things to worry about !

[ErrorError]

My friend had chosen Godparents but because neither were Catholic, the priest told her she had to choose another as well. They really didn't want to, but picked a Catholic acquaintance, who now rarely sees the DC anyway. For some people it's an honour, for others it's just a title. I'd rather have a naming ceremony myself (not religious) but this is not the norm where I live and family pressure could be a problem. I don't have DC yet but I do think about this possibility.

I know some people who happen to be Christened but would be terrible role models, and non-religious people who'd be wonderful and attentive to children. This is one of the reasons I abandoned religion, it's so subjective. Would still feel a bit weird about lying to the Church, but if it's not a moral issue for you then do it. Do whatever suits your own family.

[orangepudding]

YABU.

Your child shouldn't join the church based on a lie.

I'm not religious but I do feel that what you are doing is wrong.

[bumblebeesue]

Floggingmolly - I'm not. I know what godparents do, and I know what guardians do. One of them is confirmed... I'd like them all to be one in the same.

And for ME, it's a nice day. But for others it means more.

[OutragedFromLeeds]

Can you join your children up to a number of different religions so that they have a choice when they're older? Like how you put down their name for a number of schools, just in case.

[bumblebeesue]

You can put their name down for a number of schools??!

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Nothing makes the baby Jesus cry according to what I learnt as a child "No crying he makes" - the only non-crying baby ever - wonder how Mary knew when he was hungry !

[IloveJudgeJudy]

YAB so U! You are prepared to lie at a christening? Why have one at all? I know you said it's to be nice to others, but doing this is something I'm sure that the people you are doing it to be "nice" to, wouldn't like it.

Don't you so how totally hypocritical you are being. I'm Catholic, DH is C of E. Only criterion from our priest was that one godparent had to be Catholic. The others could be what we wanted. Godparents are to help your DC in their spiritual life - ie their morals among other things. So you are going to start your DC's moral life by lying. Don't do it. Find another way around it. Have a naming ceremony instead.