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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - No sweets or squash

443 replies

mamab30 · 29/04/2013 13:16

AIBU to not serve squash or give out sweets at a children's party?

Just wondering what parents would think of going to a children's party where there was only water to drink and just birthday cake to take home. For us that would be normal and I wouldn't think anything of it but just wondering if parents would be surprised at not seeing squash or sweets?

OP posts:
Original poster
mamab30 · 29/04/2013 14:11

Mocktails I like it!

OP posts:
Manyofhorror3 · 29/04/2013 14:11

If you want to be different, give the kids RedBull.

Jewcy · 29/04/2013 14:11

*This thread is a just a thin disguise for projecting some self satisfaction I think.

Well done OP - I'd offer you a chocolate medal but I doubt you'd want it. How about a disc of tofu instead? You can wear that around your neck at the party, while you're handing out the water.*

Love this Grin Someone upthread advocated veg sticks, houmous and other shite. Poor kids. It's a party for fuck's sake.

SirChenjin · 29/04/2013 14:12

2.5/3 months should give you plenty of time to decide whether or not to serve water or squash then.

canyou · 29/04/2013 14:12

OP a BBQ sounds like great fun just watch the sauces and ketchup etc as they are a trigger for my DD's allergies and I would be happier with juice and sweets etc as I know what they are as does she to a degree then sauces and meats and trying to explain to her why she cannot have x,y or z when she does at home even seasoning in sausages are an issue so when we butcher I do all the production myself
Sorry to add to the nightmare guest potential problems Sad

Alligatorpie · 29/04/2013 14:13

I have never met a child who didn't drink water, but i would be surprised if that was the only drink offered.
I recently took dd1 (aged7) to a party with no food ( just cake) and only water to drink. She doesnt want to go back next year ( for other reasons than just the food)

NynaevesSister · 29/04/2013 14:13

No one has been nasty. This is AIBU! Why on earth did you post in here if you just wanted ideas?

Also why say in the same post that most people are being nasty, and then say most people agree with you about the sweets. Which are we then? AIBU is dying to know obviously.

For what it is worth then ... no just water isn't good enough, you do need some variety. As it is a party I like to get the posh squash in the bottles - the organic ones at our local health/ethical shop. They're lush, and it is meant to be a treat. Watered down fruit juice is great. I've not done fizzy drinks myself, and I haven't seen them at a party here. But people do 'champagne' which is fizzy water mixed with fruit juice.

I don't like processed food either. I think the BBQ sounds great (you don't say that in your OP it sounds like you're just expecting to give them cake). Personally I would give them jelly too, and ice cream.

The cake is a big thing around here though, and I've been to plenty of parties where children leave with cake rather than a party bag, or cake and a small toy. I love that.

Also, I have a very simple, old sewing machine that doesn't do much except straight lines, but it does make a passable small, square, drawstring bag. Always a good option if you have the time.

Jewcy · 29/04/2013 14:14

I really am shocked at people's nastiness

Yes, mamba, and some of us are shocked at your hysterical view of sugar.

Manyofhorror3 · 29/04/2013 14:14

What were the reasons, Alligatorpie? Sounds intriguing!

DeWe · 29/04/2013 14:15

I don't think no sweets would be noticed, unless you're meaning no sweet foods, as long as you're doing little things in replacement. eg in the pass the parcel you will find the children looking for the prize in each layer, as that's what they're used to.
I have done different things per layer (stickers/bubble mix/small prize) but they will look for something, and, at that age, potentially become bored and wonder away if they decide something else is more rewarding.

If you put carrot sticks in the party bags (wasn't there a thread about that once) then you will probably be remembered for everymore Grin

No squash does come across as either mean or better than thou. That's not being nasty, just telling you how it will come across.

I've not been to a party where they haven't served squash-usually very weak.
Even the party I went to where the host child couldn't have squash because she was seriously allergic to some of the ingredients. Very sweet child she said: "I don't really like it because it makes me ill, but my friends like it and that makes me happy." She was 4yo.

Remotecontrolduck · 29/04/2013 14:17

What is actually wrong with squash anyway? It has sugar and that, and isn't the most nutrient packed drink ever, but is it really that toxic? At a party?

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii · 29/04/2013 14:19

I think it would be fine and I don't think my kids would have noticed. If it was me, i think i would provide some squash as it is so easy(and cheap Smile ) A weak squash isn't that bad for kids.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 29/04/2013 14:19

I'd think you were a dick if you just offered water at a kid's party (there you go, that's nasty! But true)
I'd think it was really weird not to have any biscuits or fairy cakes to eat at the tea. Also, 5 year olds won't appreciate a barbecue. My son would eat a ketchup sandwich (or is ketchup too sugary even for a barbecue?) and go home hungry and thirsty. I'd think that was very poor hosting on your part!

No sweets would be totally fine. But you need cakes/biscuits instead.

notso · 29/04/2013 14:20

And "a BBQ feast, no processed stuff"

Hardy har har.

Just wait until your are teenagers and stuff themselves with processed crap at every opportunity.

Nice, so because they might choose processed food in 10 years time we might as well start from birth?
They will probably start drinking in their teens as well so maybe OP should serve vodka and redbull Hmm

SugarMiceInTheRain · 29/04/2013 14:20

mamab30 you asked for opinions and you got them. People don't beat about the bush in AIBU.

I would think it a bit of a weird party quite frankly and would think you were uptight and a bit too precious. I know a couple of people like this in real life and am always a bit Hmm at their smugness over the healthiness of their children's diets. One party with couscous, veg sticks with houmous and olives (for 3-4 year olds) made me particularly Confused. DS2 recently turned 5 and squash or at least fruit juice at parties is definitely the norm. And plenty of sweet stuff. That's one of the reasons kids love parties - they get to eat treat foods!

KellyElly · 29/04/2013 14:20

If you are doing a BBQ and cake then I don't think the sweets thing is a big issue. Usually the sweets and biscuits etc are a bit of a filler as there are only usually sandwiches as a 'main'. How about compromise and have some crisps in bowls and some dips as nibble food and then the cake for afters. I do think you should offer some beverages other than water though.

Remotecontrolduck · 29/04/2013 14:21

When DD was young, they always had squash at parties and it just wasn't an issue Confused

Astley · 29/04/2013 14:22

DS is 5 and would probably tell me that there were no sweets or squash on the way home! So yes, children will notice and at that age, probably not like it. Shallow as it is, if it were my child's party I wouldn't want him to be faced with comments from his friends about it.

I wouldn't mind no squash as long as their was fruit juice and try as I will my 2 don't really drink much water, so I'd worry they wouldn't have drunk anything without a squash option.

We don't have sweets at home but at a party I think the children expect it so I normally allow DS to have something. All things in moderation and all!

likeitorlumpit · 29/04/2013 14:24

i knew someone who held a kids party like that no fizzy drinks or juice, no sweets , they had water , carrot sticks, grapes it was laughed talked about for ages not in a good way felt sorry for the poor kid.

Original poster
mamab30 · 29/04/2013 14:26

They're only allowed water or milk at school. Primary school

OP posts:
Astley · 29/04/2013 14:28

Yes...at school! Not at a supposed party!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 29/04/2013 14:28

But primary school is not a party - you cannot compare.

DreamsTurnToGoldDust · 29/04/2013 14:29

If you served water I would just think that you lacked imagination tbh, fizzy with FJ, coloured ice cubes, fruit in the glass etc etc, I wouldnt have a problem with no squash at all but would think that you couldnt really be bothered with just serving water. I`d roll my eyes and laugh inwardly but not say anything.

forevergreek · 29/04/2013 14:30

It sounds fine to me.

When we do parties we do what we like tbh, if others dont then they have no need to return if it's so terrible.

So if 3 year old likes xyz, and not abc. then I wouldnt be serving abc just for guests. It's his party, his choice.

I have never been to a party with squash served or even to friends house with squash in house. Most are under 5 but only water/ milk/ occasional fruit juice offered everywhere. The uk is one of the only countries that drink 'squash' anyway.

A kids party is what, 2 hours long. If they really don't like any food then I'm sure they won't shrivel in 2 hrs, and can eat at home.

I would be happy with no sweets. We have a tub full in the cupboard from party bags where ours eat one or two then dump the rest in there.

DragonMamma · 29/04/2013 14:30

Just water at a party is boring. That's everyday stuff. Parties are meant to be fun. Fresh juice, fizzy flavoured waters or squash are all the norms around here.

I probably wouldn't notice the sweets, I haven't given them out at the party tea before (I'm assuming you mean actual sweets, not sweet things?) but my DD would think I was the most mean, terrible mother if there were no chocolate fingers, party rings, cakes etc to eat at her party and it wouldn't enter my head not to buy them. It's a party, not an exercise in healthy eating.