AIBU - No sweets or squash

[mamab30]

AIBU to not serve squash or give out sweets at a children's party?

Just wondering what parents would think of going to a children's party where there was only water to drink and just birthday cake to take home. For us that would be normal and I wouldn't think anything of it but just wondering if parents would be surprised at not seeing squash or sweets?

Haha! Earth Mum! Never thought anyone would call me that! I just find it interesting how nearly everyone has been so quick to reply in a nasty way and have no idea about why I would want to serve just water/fresh juice and no sweets. I just want to be a bit different from everyone else. Just trying to see what people thought about squash and sweets. I hadn't considered fresh juice and so this has been good for me to remember fresh juice. I'm glad most people think no sweets would be ok.

I think that if you're having a BBQ then you will get away with it much more easily. Good luck with the weather though!

Just water - mean and dull and, quite frankly, weird for a child's party
No sweets - fine, as long as you have some other sweet stuff, eg biscuits, fruit etc? Not just the going home cake.

Parties are supposed to be fun and kids are supposed to eat more crap than they would normally. Nothing worse than lentil weaving and organic smuggery at a bloody children's party!!!

Don't know what my sons would make of it but there is always a list of "odd" parents to which your name woud be added. Years on we still have a chortle about the mother who thought a mini box of breakfast cereal and a bar of soap was suitable stuff for her party bags ( clear plastic bags) .

My kids are older now, so parties are for kids aged 7+

I think the party tea / food you serve isn't necessarily as important to kids as the activity / party stuff they do. If they're running round like nutters being entertained then they'll think it's a good party.

I don't have actual sweets at the 'party tea'.. never have had.. loads of the usual kids party stuff tho - sausages, sandwiches, pizza, carrot & cucumber sticks, wotsits, mini cakes and Party Ring biscuits/ rice crispy cakes etc.

none of it particularly healthy (bar the carrots/cucumber) but I don't actually have sweets at the table..never occurred to me (wish it had now!). I do have them in the party bags though.

I also have NAS squash or water, and actually last year we also had milk shakes.

I don't see why you wouldn't serve squash if your guests will drink it... It's not that hard to have on offer alongside water.

No sweets wouldn't bother me at all - a BBQ sounds fab, I wouldn't expect there to be sweets with a meal like that, maybe just some fruit and/or yoghurts for dessert in case anyone wanted them.

No squash though... I have a DC who only likes water and will spit squash out if she accidentally drinks it by stealing other children's cups but I'd still find it a bit weird if there wasn't some squash available if wanted. Some kids just like squash. It's 50p for some supermarket own no sugar squash, I'd just get some in case.

It's a party: you don't have to go against everything you believe in food-wise in order to feed people, but it's also surely an event to relax a little over? You might not like giving kids squash, other people do... It just doesn't feel like the right place to have a moral argument about the rights and wrongs of giving kids certin foods.

My dc are not keen on plain water so I would be worried bout them being thirsty. When I do parties I offer well diluted squash or water. I do do a few sweet bits bu I also offer healthier things like grapes, strawberries, celery, cherry tomatoes, carrot and cucumber. Despite the sweet treats, the things that always go is fruit etc.
Fresh juice would e a god compromise high.

I'm having a little smile to myself that sweets are not OK but cake is. That will be the sugar-free cake, will it?

Lighten up OP, no-one will think the worse of you for providing water AND squash, fruit AND sweets. Unless of course it's organically uptight competitiveness round your way.

It just doesn't feel like the right place to have a moral argument about the rights and wrongs of giving kids certain foods.

YY to that.

I just want to be a bit different from everyone else

Do you mean you want your DC's party to be different?

What is 'one of those parents'?

He doesn't like vegetable sticks or tofu, Christ I don't think I've even tried tofu myself!

Its a kids party - not a Gwyneth Paltrow appreciation meeting. Your aprty - your rules as some may say but to just serve water because you dont "approve" of squash does seem as if you need to relax a little bit. Theres no way my kids would drink water so if there was nothing else avaliable they wouldnt be staying. I would imagine there may be others in a similar position but its up to you if you want to enforce your strict rules of what is/what isnt healthy at a party. Could be wrong but its yet another area where some parents just like to get competetive in.

Ah - reminds me, one year we had loads of sushi at a party because my son loves it.. he was the only one who ate it!

laughing at the bar of soap in the party bag! (presuming it wasn't fun, character soap..) unless the giver was on a budget ).

I love tofu. deep fried, with chill and salt.. YUUM!

Seems a bit strange to throw a party for children and not offer something that most children would enjoy or expect from a party. I wouldn't notice the lack of sweets but, certainly, offering just water would seem unusual and likely to draw comment from some children and probably a few tears too, depending on the age group.

I'd be delighted but she's 18 months old so

YABU not to make the party as fun as possible.

What they have to drink doesn't really matter but its one of the things that makes parties fun. Like having a teetotal wedding. Or dressing in sacks. Fine if that's what you want to do, but it is Dull Dullity Dull.

@ outraged

DS2's generally enjoy the running around and bursting balloons element of a party and wouldnt be bothered what food was served. I might think it was a bit strange because ita not the norm but I wouldnt let it bother me or anything (id be too busy trying to get DS to sit down for pass the parcel.

DS1 will drink water, DS2 will not drink plain water. Is there any way of letting the other parents know so they can bring juice or squash from home. Id be annoyed at DS not having a drink but id be fine if I had known and could take him a healer or something.

I think if you're giving a party you have to consider the likely preferences of your guests. Half my family is vegetarian and the other half wouldn't touch sausages anyway, but I'd still lay them on if I had a kids' party. It's not the right time for a crusade. Do you have some kind of moral objection to squash?

OP, if you're so confident your DC won't touch the filthy sweets then why are you so worried about serving them at your own party? I'm sure they will be able to restrain themselves. Even when they see their cohorts cramming the foul confectionary excitedly into their faces and washing it down with - horror or horrors - orange squash, or even the Devil's own drink, Ribena.

It's A Party!! Serve up the Sherbet Fountains and be done with it.

Then make sure they give their teeth a good clean afterwards.

I've only ever done fruit juice and water at kids parties. Cake (of course!) with all the fripperies and decorations, and biscuits (including chocolate ones) but no sweets either. Oh actually we do often have a treasure hunt round the garden with a few scattered chocolate coins which are sweets really now I think about it, but no Haribo/lollipops etc.

Didn't realise it was that unusual and my oldest is 10 so I've done a fair few parties. To which some of the same children have come year on year so it can't be that off putting - tbh, if I heard a child complaining that it was boring/awful because there were no sweets or squash I wouldn't invite them again, its the height of rudeness to complain like that and I'd be livid if mine did it.