fuming with DH

[brummiegirl1]

In our house i cook and put the children to bed while DH tidies the kitchen and washes up. I have just come down this morning to the washing up not done from last night so everything is stuck to the pans etc.

Feel really mad at him as i must have fell asleep last night while i was settling my toddler down as he woke me about 9.00pm and we watched a bit of tv before bed so i didn't go into the kitchen until this morning.

I phoned him and we had a row, more he got defensive about he doesn't always do it but my arguement to him was that i cook every night and then put boys children to bed so it's only fair. He makes out that by him washing up is doing me a favour! He said he gets fed up of always washing up. I said to him last night that he could put boys to bed and i tidy kitchen but he don't want to do that(probably because he knows he has the better deal) I'm a SAHM at the moment my DH gets in from work at about 4.30 from being out at 7.50.

He said it's only a few pans but thats not the point. I told him i wanted to keep the soup from last night but i didn't expect him to leave it out in the pan along with the rice pan(dried rice stuck to it) jugs and colander and lots of cutlery, cups etc.

I told him that when im up in the morning with the children i like to just get their breakfast and sort them out not tidy the kitchen first as that should have been done the night before. I just feel put on that i do my half of the bargain but have to finish his job as well.

He hung up on me in the end. I'm just fed up my DH is not lazy but is so untidy that it's getting me down and

[Portofino]

And you have to make a point of not simpering and thanking your dh for loading the dishwasher / putting bins out / putting kids to bed.

[Portofino]

[http://www.amazon.co.uk/Susan-Maushart/e/B001K7OYQI/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1366916764&sr=8-1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21 Wife work] innit?

[Portofino]

[http://www.amazon.co.uk/Susan-Maushart/e/B001K7OYQI/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1366916764&sr=8-1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21 proper link]

[Portofino]

Arghlink

[greenformica]

rotate chores? He can cook alternate nights and put the kids down while you clean the dishes?

[LisaMed]

You can get table top dishwashers. Mine cost @ £200.

I am in no position to advise otherwise. I had to get a dishwasher as no-one else can/will wash up. I came home from A&E shaken after suspected heart attack to iron shirts. Good luck.

[HumphreyCobbler]

I am relieved this thread took a turn for the better.

I couldn't believe what I was reading earlier on.

[Branleuse]

maybe something was dripfed or i should have read 6 pages of washing dishes, but if i couldnt be arsed to do the washing up one evening, i really wouldnt expect my dp to call me up and give me shit down the phone about it.



I am a lazy arse though

[greenformica]

maybe don't cook for him if he fails to wash up the night before? Explain he needs to pull his weight. Pile up all his untidy mess in a box - bills, washing, sweet wrappers etc - just chuck it all in together out of your way.

[clippityclop]

So change things! Unless there's anything else more serious going on I think you just need to compromise, can't be nice for dc if there's an atmosphere about household chores. How about you both take it in turns to read to each child, and then do the dishes together after they're asleep? Do you really have that many? They're little for such a short time and bedtime's really special at this age, share the pleasure. Get a dishwasher, unloading and loading it takes about 10mins tops all in in our house and there's four of us too. If you started batch cooking/freezing that can cut down the washing up big style. Get dc into good habits, clearing the table as soon as they're tall enough to reach the table top too. Good luck.

[clippityclop]

So change things! Unless there's anything else more serious going on I think you just need to compromise, can't be nice for dc if there's an atmosphere about household chores. How about you both take it in turns to read to each child, and then do the dishes together after they're asleep? Do you really have that many? They're little for such a short time and bedtime's really special at this age, share the pleasure. Get a dishwasher, unloading and loading it takes about 10mins tops all in in our house and there's four of us too. If you started batch cooking/freezing that can cut down the washing up big style. Get dc into good habits, clearing the table as soon as they're tall enough to reach the table top too. Good luck.