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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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HELP! Police at my door - apparently I have committed an offence.........

650 replies

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 16:20

Police just came as they have received a complaint against me.

Yesterday afternoon I nip to Tesco after school pick up. No P&C spaces so I park further down in a row of which is almost all empty spaces. I have a large 7 seater (4 DC) and get fed up of people parking so close that I can't get the toddler into his car seat without a struggle, so I park a quarter way over the next space hoping no one will park in that space as there are plenty more empty spaces next to it. I rush round, get a call from DD as she has forgotten her keys and is waiting outside the front door at home, so go quicker, get outside and find some BUFFOON has parked in the space I have parked over, so close that I can only just about get the door open on the toddler's side. The next space was empty!

As a see this, I hold my hands up and say to the DC, 'For gods sake, why did this idiot have to park so close' not seeing that there is a teenage boy sat in the car. I was not actually talking TO him at that point.

Conversation then goes something like this:
Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'. I tell him it would be common decency for his father to make sure the next car can open their doors. As I am in a rush, I try to squeeze DS through the door, hitting his head in the process. He starts crying. The boy in the next car laughs. I take the trolley back muttering 'tosser' to myself and give him an evil stare as I drive off furious at myself for not parking in the middle of 2 spaces and for even having a dialogue with the boy.

So police just came and said I had committed a public disorder offence as I was 'shouting, screaming and swearing' at the boy which has left him very shaken as he suffers from anxiety. The boy wants a written apology from me and if I do that, it will not go any further. Otherwise I will have be interviewed and give a written statement.

I have said that I am not apologising as I have not committed any offence and the boy was mouthing back to me very confidently and did definitely not look anxious to me! I do actually suffer from anxiety and depression and this has completely knocked me for 6.

The police will call me to arrange an interview next week. I can't believe it. I am pretty sure I did not even raise my voice. There was no one else about except my DCs and they are adamant I did not shout or swear (I have even started doubting myself). I am going back to the store on Monday to request the CCTV footage but they are not sure if anything will show up in the car park and it probably won't have picked up my voice anyway to prove I was not shouting.

I cannot understand how the police can tell me that if I write an apology, they will drop it, when they have no proof that I did anything. They were making out I was guilty Angry. Does this constitute a public disorder offence? I was just about to go out with the DCs to park before the police came. I am frozen with fear now.

OP posts:
FarBetterNow · 20/04/2013 17:56

A lot knickers in a twist this afternoon.

VerySmallSqueak · 20/04/2013 17:57

Parking across two bays in a carpark may offend but it is not a criminal offence.

Footface · 20/04/2013 17:57

I also started parking over two spaces when I could not get either my newborn or two year old in the car, because I couldn't open their doors because two people had parked too close.

I had to leave my 2 year old and baby behind another car while I reversed out so I could open the door. I was very worried that the 2 year old might wander off, but he didn't.

It was in Kingston. And I left really shitty note in the cars.

Yanbu

digerd · 20/04/2013 17:57

OP did not tell him he was a tosser. She said it quietly to herself as she walked away putting her empty trolly back.

nenevomito · 20/04/2013 17:58

Wow. I never knew sticking your wheel over the white line was such a kickable offense.

Where is it in the hierarchy of parking related levels of hell? Before or after parking in a P&C space without a kid in tow?

Footface · 20/04/2013 17:58

Next time don't bother just whack your doors into the cars next to you, it's what other people seem to do.!

complexnumber · 20/04/2013 17:59

You were blocked on both sides!

You must have seriously pissed off some drivers.

What I cannot understand is why, if you knew you were going to take more than one space for your car, you did not park bang in the middle like you 'threatened' to do some posts ago.

If you are going to take two spaces, do it properly!

tiggytape · 20/04/2013 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shewhowines · 20/04/2013 18:03

i'm not sure why the op is getting such a hard time. If she is telling the truth, then she acted with annoyance but with restraint, which is understandable in the circumstances described. And we have no evidence that she is not telling the truth.

I can understand people being upset if she had parked across two spaces in the busy part of the car park but she showed consideration to others by parking much further away, where she felt she wouldn't inconvenience others. What's wrong with that?

YANBU

calypso2008 · 20/04/2013 18:03

I repeat: the OP has been told by most people that she was NBU, but, the few who questioned her behaviour she got agressive with. IMHO.

This is AIBU, she was told she was NBU, then a FEW people, who gave their opinions, she took offense to. This made me think she was BU.

I just think she was ruder than she says. Judging from her responses to those who slightly disagreed with her. I don't drive, I don't give a damn how she parks, but she sounds difficult.

Anyway, it is all over now, so that is that. But maybe she could be nicer to people in future. To have the police called, she must have been rude - sorry. Her responses on this thread have been rude. I'm off.

BOF · 20/04/2013 18:05

Where do you live that the police have time to bother with shit- Trumpton?

crashdoll · 20/04/2013 18:06

OP you need one of those slidey door cars.

BigBoobiedBertha · 20/04/2013 18:06

"No-one needs to park over 2 spaces, unless you are disabled, have difficulty getting in and out of your car and all the disabled spaces have been taken."

But the OP has had difficult getting her children in and out of the car safely. Her DS banged his head today and it sounds like it isn't the first time others have been inconsiderate. That is the whole point of parking the way she did to avoid exactly the situation where she can't even open her doors. Unfortunately, she had to contend with a jumped-up little twerp who decided that it was his job to police other people's parking and to park as close to her as he could. I still maintain that if she was a quarter of the way into his space he can't have been parking within the line either so really he was as bad as her.

The OP didn't break any rules or laws. She didn't stop anybody else parking as there were plenty of other spaces.

She wasn't even wrong in talking to the boy. He engaged her first. If it had been me and my father had played stupid games like that I would have kept quiet and kept my head down, I wouldn't have gone looking for a fight. My bet is that one of the parents were police officers and had sent out some mates to make a point but they got a telling off from the boss for wasting police time and were told to drop it. Good job too as this wouldn't have made them look good if the OP had decided to let them take her to court.

VodkaJelly · 20/04/2013 18:07

I would deny everything, say that he started it by mouthing off to you and you only stated the facts that his father parks like a twunt.

No way would I put anything in writing, no way.

I am suprised the police turned up over a he said she said situation. And your DC's are witnesses that you did nothing wrong.

As for parking over 2 bays - meh, bigger crimes in life to get worked up about.

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 18:09

calypso2008 examples of my 'aggressiveness' please before you pop off. That's the 2nd time you've accused me of that. Or are you confusing aggressiveness with correcting people who have misread my posts and standing up for myself. There is a big difference as I well know!

OP posts:
Footface · 20/04/2013 18:09

TiggOh my note said, learn to park in a f***g straight line, and on the other I just wrote seriously! As I didn't have much paper left.

But you are quite right about the size of spaces being narrow, and cars are wide these days. My car is little so seems to be parked next to a lot.

VerySmallSqueak · 20/04/2013 18:10

In this country you are innocent until proven guilty.

OP, you have done nothing illegal here,and you've had a real shock with the Police being involved in the matter.

Don't let this prey on your mind. Have a nice Brew and try to get your mind off it.

everlong · 20/04/2013 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Euclase · 20/04/2013 18:11

He sounds like a buffoon, I wouldn't write a letter of apology.

Yes it was annoying having to park over another bay but surely common sense dictates you wouldn't park in a parking bay that is taken up partially by another vehicle, especially if there were spare bays ?!

Weirdo Confused

TheChaoGoesMu · 20/04/2013 18:13

The driver sounds like a knobhead. Don't apologise. The parking over two spaces is a side issue. You had a perfectly valid reason to park as you did, well away from the door. If he parked in that space rather than the empty one he probably did it on purpose (assuming of course that the space was empty when he arrived.)

krasnayaploshad · 20/04/2013 18:13

This thread has gotten ridiculous.
Salmorutta - maybe it isn't nice of the OP questioning people's reading skills, but then again, it's not nice for the OP to have all sorts of accusations thrown at her because people haven't read the thread properly!

Fallon for some reason must think the OP's 4 children drive the 7 seater car themselves, why else would Fallon think a 7 seater car for a family of 6 is too big Confused
Telling the OP to next time sensibly park in 1 bay at the end of the car park away from all the cars is no guarantee if there are customers like my DH who think nothing of parking next to a lone car, as he did today.
If the OP wants to guarantee she can get her toddler in & out of the car, only option really is to park in the middle of 2 bays (assuming the family bays are all full)

OP - YANBU to think the police visit is overkill. It's quite clear the boy exaggerated his story given he's not prepared to take it further. FWIW I wouldn't have written the apology & would've been prepared to call the boy's bluff.
Have a Wine & forget about the whole thing.

thebeastandbeauty · 20/04/2013 18:18

You both have very bad manners, but you don't see the irony in what you've posted.

YOU park over the line (bad mannered) and repeat over and over that it's not illegal.

He parks near your door. Also not illegal. And you do one over it!

Look at your OWN double standards.

What on earth gave you the right to get so worked up and pick a fight over it???? YOU were bad mannered FIRST. YOU got a taste of your OWN medicine.

Salmotrutta · 20/04/2013 18:19

I didn't accuse the OP krasnay - I was pointing out that the boy maybe embellished his version of events.

And I still think its rude to accuse people of " lacking reading skills" . Even though it wasn't directed at me. Is that okay?

Lottashakingoinon · 20/04/2013 18:21

VelvetSpoon I did not shout. Repeat. I did not shout. Repeat. I did not shout.

See what I mean about people lacking in reading skills?

I can drive and park very well. I am not an asshole who deliberately parks so close people can't open the door. I take it a lot of you are

some people have been deliberately provocative and obviously can't read.

In case Calypso doesn't come back, and since you have chosen to ignore what Guitargirl said I've just highlighted some of your little gems. Not aggressive maybe, but certainly highly ballsy. Bloody hell you scared me and I wasn't even there, and I'm a lot older than 15. Grin

FWIW on the face of it, it seemed to me like a massive over-reaction on the part of the police, which in turn makes me think that you were a lot more aggressive to the lad than you realised. That certainly seems to be the case here!

crashdoll · 20/04/2013 18:22

Seriously, slidey doors are the way forward.....