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AIBU?

HELP! Police at my door - apparently I have committed an offence.........

650 replies

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 16:20

Police just came as they have received a complaint against me.

Yesterday afternoon I nip to Tesco after school pick up. No P&C spaces so I park further down in a row of which is almost all empty spaces. I have a large 7 seater (4 DC) and get fed up of people parking so close that I can't get the toddler into his car seat without a struggle, so I park a quarter way over the next space hoping no one will park in that space as there are plenty more empty spaces next to it. I rush round, get a call from DD as she has forgotten her keys and is waiting outside the front door at home, so go quicker, get outside and find some BUFFOON has parked in the space I have parked over, so close that I can only just about get the door open on the toddler's side. The next space was empty!

As a see this, I hold my hands up and say to the DC, 'For gods sake, why did this idiot have to park so close' not seeing that there is a teenage boy sat in the car. I was not actually talking TO him at that point.

Conversation then goes something like this:
Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'. I tell him it would be common decency for his father to make sure the next car can open their doors. As I am in a rush, I try to squeeze DS through the door, hitting his head in the process. He starts crying. The boy in the next car laughs. I take the trolley back muttering 'tosser' to myself and give him an evil stare as I drive off furious at myself for not parking in the middle of 2 spaces and for even having a dialogue with the boy.

So police just came and said I had committed a public disorder offence as I was 'shouting, screaming and swearing' at the boy which has left him very shaken as he suffers from anxiety. The boy wants a written apology from me and if I do that, it will not go any further. Otherwise I will have be interviewed and give a written statement.

I have said that I am not apologising as I have not committed any offence and the boy was mouthing back to me very confidently and did definitely not look anxious to me! I do actually suffer from anxiety and depression and this has completely knocked me for 6.

The police will call me to arrange an interview next week. I can't believe it. I am pretty sure I did not even raise my voice. There was no one else about except my DCs and they are adamant I did not shout or swear (I have even started doubting myself). I am going back to the store on Monday to request the CCTV footage but they are not sure if anything will show up in the car park and it probably won't have picked up my voice anyway to prove I was not shouting.

I cannot understand how the police can tell me that if I write an apology, they will drop it, when they have no proof that I did anything. They were making out I was guilty Angry. Does this constitute a public disorder offence? I was just about to go out with the DCs to park before the police came. I am frozen with fear now.

OP posts:
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SpecialAgentTattooedQueen · 25/04/2013 00:32

Our school car park doesn't have lines. It's carnage. People park like there's a monster coming.

Chokes! Grin

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ComposHat · 24/04/2013 19:20

Today I spotted a 4x4 parked across two P&C spaces. Was it you, OP?

A 4x4 driver parking like a cunt? Who'd have thought it?

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HorryIsUpduffed · 24/04/2013 18:29

Our school car park doesn't have lines. It's carnage. People park like there's a monster coming.

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BerylStreep · 24/04/2013 18:10

We have a retail park near us which doesn't have lines. It is an absolute joy to park there - people park a sensible distance from each other.

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QuintessentialOHara · 24/04/2013 11:25

I think the OP has started a trend. Cross space parking is kicking off.

Yesterday in "Local Supermarket" no less than 5 cars next to eachother had been forced to cross the line. I refused to be the next and made sure I did NOT park next to them. Grin

I am orderly, me.

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frumpet · 24/04/2013 11:23

Where i shop , there are often very large vehicles like motorhomes ,cars towing caravans , tractors with trailers etc , as it is also classed as a motorway services and it is in a semi-rural area . These vehicles have to take up more than one space and nobody bothers because the car park is huge and they tend to park at one end , whereas most people prefer to park closer to the supermarket . I tend to park at this end because it means you can park in a bay with spaces either side , therefore making it easier to get in and out of the car with small children . Some of the large vehicles are parked across the lines , it would never cross my mind to try and squeeze my car in the space next to them as is my right , if there were other free spaces .

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HorryIsUpduffed · 24/04/2013 09:34

Today I spotted a 4x4 parked across two P&C spaces. Was it you, OP?

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lisbethsopposite · 23/04/2013 22:15

I think I have ocd. I can't stop reading .

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VerySmallSqueak · 23/04/2013 17:27

It's worth a thought....
Could be lucrative!

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LineRunner · 23/04/2013 17:25

I would set up a documentary film company simply to follow the OP about if I won the lottery and put ideas in her head Grin

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ChocolateCakePlease · 23/04/2013 17:21

Yes a "parking charge notice" is unenforcable.

A "penalty charge notice" is enforcable.


Not being selfish is always of course free.

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VerySmallSqueak · 23/04/2013 17:19

Ah,but then she may cause an obstruction to an emergency vehicle which I presume would be an offence LineRunner.

Stop shit stirring putting ideas in her head Grin.

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LineRunner · 23/04/2013 17:16

So the OP could in future park lengthways across three spaces, right up against the actual thoroughfare bit, IYSWIM.

I'd go for it, OP. You with your quiet, reasonable ways.

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VerySmallSqueak · 23/04/2013 17:12

They are LineRunner unless it's a Council carpark.

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LineRunner · 23/04/2013 17:08

I think I've read on here that parking fines are unenforceable from supermarket carparks?

However, equally the driver of the other car could park where they liked. That'll be the car with the super-thin bodywork that allows the sound of muttering to penetrate through it.

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HorryIsUpduffed · 23/04/2013 16:53

Most say "if you adhere to these guidelines then parking is free, otherwise it is £25/hr or part thereof" or similar.

So if the guidelines say "park fully within a marked bay for no longer than three hours" and you park in two spaces, or all day, you've chosen to take the payment option.

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justmatureenough2bdad · 23/04/2013 16:48

apologies i haven't read all the posts, but just thought i would add that while a supermarket may have rules thaty relate to its carpark, they are not legal traffic orders and therefore not enforceable.....they are GUIDElines

i agree its not massively socially acceptable, but if you feel safer parking over 2 bays, then do it! (don't do it in pay and display bays on public roads...that will get you a fine)

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LineRunner · 23/04/2013 16:26

Oh this thread is still going. Top hole.

How did the boy even hear the OP muttering under her breath if he was sitting in a parked car?

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FreyaSnow · 23/04/2013 16:21

I just don't understand this element of it:

Person X thinks person Y is wrong.
Person Z (or child Z in this case) knows person Y.
It is acceptable for person X to get cross with person Z.

If someone is angry with my mother/neighbour/friend, that doesn't mean they can start telling me off or expect me to change somebody else's behaviour. That would be even more the case if I was a child and everyone else involved was an adult.

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BigBoobiedBertha · 23/04/2013 16:17

Lucie and mirry2 - I have said the same thing a couple of times too - if she really was a quarter into the next space there was no way another car could have parked there and not been over the other line unless they were especially wide spaces but that can't be the case because the OP wouldn't have had to park badly in the first place.

I also think the boy went out of his way to engage with the OP. If he was sitting on the side closest to her car she can't have been standing next to him because there was no room. If he was on the other side she wasn't approaching him because she had no reason to go round there. It isn't surprising she didn't see him.

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MyDarlingClementine · 23/04/2013 16:16

I really hope my teen would never laugh at someone else's distress and especially laugh if a small child's head was banged.

I would think I was doing a great job if she had at least offered some assistance or said " are you ok".

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MyDarlingClementine · 23/04/2013 16:14

But on this occasion, there were spaces.

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ChocolateCakePlease · 23/04/2013 16:12

"Supermarkets want to shoehorn in as many cars as possible. The lines are for guidance. They have no responsibility for vehicle damage. Can we condemn each other a little less?"


When you go into a supermarket carpark there will be a sign stating the conditions you must follow in order to use the carpark - one being you MUST park between the lines. If everyone had the attitude of "oh well my car is bigger so i need two spaces then alot of space will be taken up. It's hard not to condemn such selfish behaviour when i (and no doubt many others) are driving round looking for a space and the only one i find is too narrow because the selfish idiots have parked over the line to which i then say "oh damb i could have got into that space if they had parked properly."

The section of carpark the OP had parked in was empty this time but judging from her OP it is something she does often (when she stated
"I have a large 7 seater (4 DC) and get fed up of people parking so close that I can't get the toddler into his car seat without a struggle, so I park a quarter way over the next space hoping no one will park in that space as there are plenty more empty spaces next to it.")

So yes, it IS a rule to park between the marked lines (go and read it yourself) and people will condemn selfish parking when they cannot find a space for themselves.

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LucieLucie · 23/04/2013 16:02

Mirry2-exactly my point (back on p21/22) the man must have also parked badly in some attempt to 'teach op a lesson' and left son in car for a reason. Some people are so righteous about bloody parking. He should have parked elsewhere and not tried to be a Pratt. Op was technically in the wrong but he caused an unecessary situation by squeezing alongside her mpv when there were plenty other spaces nearer the store. Just my opinion.

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Justforlaughs · 23/04/2013 15:48

I haven't read all the posts either, but am I the only one wondering how the OP can argue that the teenager didn't "appear" to be anxious, whereas she is suffering from anxiety and depression and yet managed to start an argument with the passenger. How was he supposed to know that she had these issues if she couldn't tell that he did? Ultimately it's a pain in the neck when people don't park considerately. Whoever they are.
I have no idea about the car driven by the OP but my own people carrier only has one sliding door to access the rear of the car so if someone parks very close it can be awkward. Another point the OP seems to have missed is that cars do move and it is perfectly possible that there was actually a car parked in the empty space when the driver arrived.

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