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AIBU?

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HELP! Police at my door - apparently I have committed an offence.........

650 replies

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 16:20

Police just came as they have received a complaint against me.

Yesterday afternoon I nip to Tesco after school pick up. No P&C spaces so I park further down in a row of which is almost all empty spaces. I have a large 7 seater (4 DC) and get fed up of people parking so close that I can't get the toddler into his car seat without a struggle, so I park a quarter way over the next space hoping no one will park in that space as there are plenty more empty spaces next to it. I rush round, get a call from DD as she has forgotten her keys and is waiting outside the front door at home, so go quicker, get outside and find some BUFFOON has parked in the space I have parked over, so close that I can only just about get the door open on the toddler's side. The next space was empty!

As a see this, I hold my hands up and say to the DC, 'For gods sake, why did this idiot have to park so close' not seeing that there is a teenage boy sat in the car. I was not actually talking TO him at that point.

Conversation then goes something like this:
Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'. I tell him it would be common decency for his father to make sure the next car can open their doors. As I am in a rush, I try to squeeze DS through the door, hitting his head in the process. He starts crying. The boy in the next car laughs. I take the trolley back muttering 'tosser' to myself and give him an evil stare as I drive off furious at myself for not parking in the middle of 2 spaces and for even having a dialogue with the boy.

So police just came and said I had committed a public disorder offence as I was 'shouting, screaming and swearing' at the boy which has left him very shaken as he suffers from anxiety. The boy wants a written apology from me and if I do that, it will not go any further. Otherwise I will have be interviewed and give a written statement.

I have said that I am not apologising as I have not committed any offence and the boy was mouthing back to me very confidently and did definitely not look anxious to me! I do actually suffer from anxiety and depression and this has completely knocked me for 6.

The police will call me to arrange an interview next week. I can't believe it. I am pretty sure I did not even raise my voice. There was no one else about except my DCs and they are adamant I did not shout or swear (I have even started doubting myself). I am going back to the store on Monday to request the CCTV footage but they are not sure if anything will show up in the car park and it probably won't have picked up my voice anyway to prove I was not shouting.

I cannot understand how the police can tell me that if I write an apology, they will drop it, when they have no proof that I did anything. They were making out I was guilty Angry. Does this constitute a public disorder offence? I was just about to go out with the DCs to park before the police came. I am frozen with fear now.

OP posts:
Footface · 20/04/2013 17:34

Yanbu to park over two spaces but for different readons. although I think I'm the minority.

I park over two spaces now when ever I can. I have a tiny car ( corsa) and people with massive cars (think ranger rovers) or those massive things with wheels the size of a child park next to mine because there's more room as my car is so small. But it means I can't get the toodler in. I've got fed up with climbing across seats I now park like a cunt

duchesse · 20/04/2013 17:34

I'd be amazed if it were in the SW- nobody would care here!

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 17:34

VelvetSpoon I did not shout. Repeat. I did not shout. Repeat. I did not shout.

See what I mean about people lacking in reading skills?

There were no free slots at the end of a row closer to the entrance which is why I parked further down where there were loads of spaces.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 20/04/2013 17:37

Not nice to question people's reading skills OP. Hmm

SirChenjin · 20/04/2013 17:37

No-one needs to park over 2 spaces, unless you are disabled, have difficulty getting in and out of your car and all the disabled spaces have been taken. Seriously, if you can't park a 7 seater in one space then you need lessons to learn how to park. Incidentally, it's easier to reverse that size of car into a space.

ilovecolinfirth · 20/04/2013 17:38

I think you sound really rude. You cannot decide that rules that apply to everyone else don't apply to you. Also, what on earth makes you think you can start speaking to ANYONE like that, never mind a child. You need to learn some manners.

BookFairy · 20/04/2013 17:38

Footface (great name!) everyone parks like a cunt in this part of Surrey - it's a requirement of the postcode!

CloudSurfer · 20/04/2013 17:39

If the only way to get your toddler in is using 2 spaces, and if all the child's ones are taken, then use 2. Park right in the middle to avoid this happening again. Your toddler shouldn't have to be squashed in and bump his head just for someone to use a specific space next to you when there are plenty of others.

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 17:39

I actually started parking over the bays after the time I was left with no option but to climb through the boot, carrying the then baby with me so I could get him in his seat and then reverse out (I did not want to leave him alone in his pram in a car park while I reversed). I literally could not get in either side as twunts had blocked me on both sides. Lucky the car boot was large and easy to crawl through! Don't know what I'd have done if it was a saloon!

OP posts:
tiggytape · 20/04/2013 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NandH · 20/04/2013 17:42

by your own admission the Car pack was pretty empty so why take up 2 spaces?

learn to park or get a smaller car if you can't park the one you've got!!!

it's people like you I secretly show my middle finger to behind my steering wheel Grin

mum1979100 · 20/04/2013 17:43

Seems hard to believe the police would get involved unless the boy is related to police as others have said.
Could it have been someone pretending to be police?
I'd be wary about writing letter that admits all fault.

timidviper · 20/04/2013 17:44

It sounds like the driver was a knobhead who would have parked right next to you even if you were smack in the middle of 2 bays, seems like he did it deliberately. Sadly I think you will just have to count this as a learning experience and move on.

Doha · 20/04/2013 17:46

I can see no problem with OP taking up 2 spaces if there were plenty of free spaces and l can understand her reasons for doing so.
As for the alleged offence - l think l would ask Tesco if they has CCTV coverage and if so armed with the evidence, go to the police station. I would demand a written apology for the boy/parent.
But then l like a fight!!!

VerySmallSqueak · 20/04/2013 17:46

I am a bit Confused here.
It seems to me like some of the inferences on here are that the OP should have taken it all on the chin because you disagree with the way she parked.

The offence the Police were talking about was a Public Order Offence.
Not a Naughty Parking Offence.

The OP says she did nothing that would have contravened the Public Order Act.The other party isn't making a statement.If the Police had any other reason to pursue this they would,but they are not.

digerd · 20/04/2013 17:47

OP

Some men sneer at women's ability to park, and when his DS told him it was a woman who critised HIS parking, he was probably furious. Hence the very OTT complaint to the police, who were probably of the same calibre and paid you that OTT threatening visit.

He is teaching his son bad traits towards women.

That he laughed when your little one banged his head as not enough room to get him in the doorway, is disgusting.

I get my shopping home delivered, saves a lot of hassle.

FarBetterNow · 20/04/2013 17:47

Samontrutta: Reading skills:

  1. the Op has been told she doesn't need a 7 seater car, even though she has stated that she has 4 children.
  1. the Op has been told she shouldn't have parked so close to the checkout - she didn't.
  1. The OP has been told she shouldn't have shouted - she didn't.
holidaysarenice · 20/04/2013 17:48

There is no way I would be writing the note. Except if it contained guidelines on parking, oh and polite children.

Attend the police station. With a signed statement from ur children concerning this. Also a document about the effect on ur mental health. I wud be almost guaranteeing no more will come of it.

Anything more...ring the paper. Amazing story about ur police force wasting time!

Do not let it worry you.

tiggytape · 20/04/2013 17:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin · 20/04/2013 17:50

The OP has been told she shouldn't have parked over 2 spaces - she did

The OP has been told she shouldn't have got into an argument with a child or called him a tosser - she did

Borntobeamum · 20/04/2013 17:54

Sounds like a young twat and an old enough to know better twat being twats together!

SoupDragon · 20/04/2013 17:54

"Is parking across 2 spaces an offence then"

Yes. You have to park within a marked bay. If your reading skills are up to it, there was most likely a sign explaining this.

Guitargirl · 20/04/2013 17:54

OP - you respond to posters questioning your parking skills with accusations of not being able to read! Charming. Honestly, you have had a fright, the whole thing sounds very unpleasant. But now you just need to calm down a bit. If your response to a whole load of posters explaining how annoying the parking across two spaces thing is 'Yes in future I shall park right in the middle of 2 bays don't worry' then why post in AIBU?

Actually, you know what, am not wasting any more of my time with this crap. Next time, park wherever you like, speak to whomever you like however you like. It's your DCs who have witnessed their mother being visited by a police officer not mine.

LookingThroughTheFog · 20/04/2013 17:55

If there were so many free parking spaces, why didn't you park between two empty ones, rather than at the end of the row? That way, even if one car turned up on one side, you'd still be likely to have a whole free space at the other side.

Presumably, you wanted to park closer to the shop, which was presumably why the other driver parked in the next one too.

I also don't understand how your anxiety and depression didn't render you unable to respond if you think that his should have muted him.

If the other driver had come out, and started having a go at your DC because of your parking, wouldn't you be a touch ticked off?

Finally, how can you still not know what you've done wrong, when many people have told you that you a) parked so badly as to make the next space unusable and b) you had a go at an innocent 15 year old because of it.