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HELP! Police at my door - apparently I have committed an offence.........

650 replies

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 16:20

Police just came as they have received a complaint against me.

Yesterday afternoon I nip to Tesco after school pick up. No P&C spaces so I park further down in a row of which is almost all empty spaces. I have a large 7 seater (4 DC) and get fed up of people parking so close that I can't get the toddler into his car seat without a struggle, so I park a quarter way over the next space hoping no one will park in that space as there are plenty more empty spaces next to it. I rush round, get a call from DD as she has forgotten her keys and is waiting outside the front door at home, so go quicker, get outside and find some BUFFOON has parked in the space I have parked over, so close that I can only just about get the door open on the toddler's side. The next space was empty!

As a see this, I hold my hands up and say to the DC, 'For gods sake, why did this idiot have to park so close' not seeing that there is a teenage boy sat in the car. I was not actually talking TO him at that point.

Conversation then goes something like this:
Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'. I tell him it would be common decency for his father to make sure the next car can open their doors. As I am in a rush, I try to squeeze DS through the door, hitting his head in the process. He starts crying. The boy in the next car laughs. I take the trolley back muttering 'tosser' to myself and give him an evil stare as I drive off furious at myself for not parking in the middle of 2 spaces and for even having a dialogue with the boy.

So police just came and said I had committed a public disorder offence as I was 'shouting, screaming and swearing' at the boy which has left him very shaken as he suffers from anxiety. The boy wants a written apology from me and if I do that, it will not go any further. Otherwise I will have be interviewed and give a written statement.

I have said that I am not apologising as I have not committed any offence and the boy was mouthing back to me very confidently and did definitely not look anxious to me! I do actually suffer from anxiety and depression and this has completely knocked me for 6.

The police will call me to arrange an interview next week. I can't believe it. I am pretty sure I did not even raise my voice. There was no one else about except my DCs and they are adamant I did not shout or swear (I have even started doubting myself). I am going back to the store on Monday to request the CCTV footage but they are not sure if anything will show up in the car park and it probably won't have picked up my voice anyway to prove I was not shouting.

I cannot understand how the police can tell me that if I write an apology, they will drop it, when they have no proof that I did anything. They were making out I was guilty Angry. Does this constitute a public disorder offence? I was just about to go out with the DCs to park before the police came. I am frozen with fear now.

OP posts:
duchesse · 20/04/2013 17:19

Oh FGS, OP was parking in a supermarket car park in a row with plenty of spaces, because there were no P & C spaces (wider for this precise reason) available. Why on earth shouldn't she park in a way that makes it possible to take her DC out of the car without barking next door cars? What is wrong with people that this is suddenly crime of the century?? It was a pragmatic decision in a suboptimal situation.

OP my guess is that tosser dad parked there deliberately because he felt in some way slighted, and left his equally obnoxious spawn in the car to have a good laugh when you came back and tried to move it. The apple does not fall far from the tree, as we say in France.

I would state the truth calmly to the police, reiterate that in no way did you cause an affray and let them deal with it. The tosser dad is trying to humiliate you. Your parking, even badly by necessity, is not an offence on private land. Don't let the bastards grind you down. The police will take it no further as there is zero evidence if all happened as you say.

WorrySighWorrySigh · 20/04/2013 17:20

I am guessing that the parent (possibly a police officer) of the lad worked himself up into a lather. When the lad saw his dad making out that the understandably annoyed woman had frightened him then I would guess that his personal pride wouldnt let him make a statement.

Despite the parking hysterics on this thread YWNBU. I hope that your nerves calm down a bit now.

twofaceshenanigans · 20/04/2013 17:20

Are you the owner of the car in the picture on my profile?! Shock

Jinsei · 20/04/2013 17:20

It's one of my pet hates when people park across two spaces. Incredibly selfish behaviour. If you had parked properly in the first place, he wouldn't have parked so close.

I can't believe that you then got into an argument with a teenage boy when you were so obviously in the wrong. Very poor judgement OP. Just write the letter of apology, learn from your mistakes and move on...

SirChenjin · 20/04/2013 17:20

Serves you right OP. There is no excuse to take up 2 spaces when you park - if everyone did this then car parks would be half the size they should be. I had a big 7 seater until recently and managed to park it properly. If you can't then you should take a few more driving lessons.

Write the letter and learn from it.

niceguy2 · 20/04/2013 17:21

Waste of police time. it's op's word against the boy's. Unless he recorded it, there's no evidence. Go make the statement and it'll get dropped if that was really all that happened.

calypso2008 · 20/04/2013 17:21

Calling someone a 'tosser' is just not, well, very classy OP.

You need to be a bit nicer perhaps, consider other people. Maybe?

Salmotrutta · 20/04/2013 17:21

They aren't taking it further anyway - the OP has already told us that!

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 17:21

Please show me my aggressive replies. Short and to the point as I am trying to do stuff as well and yes, some people have been deliberately provocative and obviously can't read.

If my DCs started mouthing off to a stranger and laughing when a toddler hurt himself, they would deserve much more than the boy got which was in no way abuse. Besides I would'nt block someone's car doors so they would'nt be in that position.

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 20/04/2013 17:23

I suspect that the other driver was probably just pissed off with drivers like you OP and decided not to park as badly as you.

digerd · 20/04/2013 17:23

tiggytape
In that case I could have called the police lots of times in my life. But sure I would have been told I was being oversensitive and should grow a thicker skin.

duchesse · 20/04/2013 17:26

FFS, is there so little space in this world that we all need to turn on each other like rats in a hole?

Parking spaces are narrow, far too narrow for MPVs. Even if you don't have a hoik a toddler or two out, most spaces are barely wide enough to squeeze out of by yourself as a thinnish person. Would people rather their cars were damaged? Is it really worth getting so hacked off about that you would pick on a woman going shopping with 4 children to make your point? Really? Shabby behaviour. Have some bloody compassion.

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 17:27

Exactly why do people get so pissed of when people take up 2 parking spaces when there are plenty more free? I can understand in a fee parking car park but not a FREE Tesco one. Totally irrational IMO. I genuinely want to understand. I parked away from the entrance so loads of spaces. Explain why wanting to be able to open your car doors is 'piss poor' parking.

OP posts:
SuePurblybilt · 20/04/2013 17:28

Was it a Tesco in the South West, OP?

BookFairy · 20/04/2013 17:28

In this part of the SE it's amazing if anyone is actually parked correctly in one bay and not across two. What an arse of a situation. I suspect they deliberately parked next to you to piss you off and are "professionally offended" by the situation. Repost in Legal and take advantage of the free 30mins most solicitors have. Keep very calm when you give your side of the story. If possible return to the car park and photograph where you parked to help explain why you were parked there etc.

CloudSurfer · 20/04/2013 17:29

Ignore ignore ignore. They have. no proof, the letter is probably so they have proof to give you a caution. Most likely a PO's kid.

SoniaGluck · 20/04/2013 17:29

God love us all, some people on here are sanctimonious, never-bloody-do-a-thing-wrong, po-faced, humourless and plain rude.

There are people in this world who routinely threaten to / do actually call the police for any silly thing they happen not to like.

We have one on our street. He regularly threatens to call the "bobbies" for people parking on the road outside his house, playing too loudly within 500 yards of his house and other daft stuff.

Perhaps the OP was in the wrong, initially - although if the car park wasn't particularly busy I don't actually see the harm - but she wasn't abusive so the boy lied. His father obviously backed him up to the extent of calling the police but then had to back down because the kid wouldn't make a statement because it wasn't true.

I think the OP was pretty shaken up, I would be if it happened to me, and then comes on here to get a bit of sympathy and just gets abuse from some.

There are people who in an empty car park will park right up next to another car. My DH does it. I ask him why and get him to move. He generally does because he's not a complete knob. Some people, unfortunately, are complete knobs.

tiggytape · 20/04/2013 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KitchenandJumble · 20/04/2013 17:30

Of course you were in the wrong. You can't possibly predict how many cars will enter the car park while you are in the supermarket (assuming you do not possess the gift of parking clairvoyance). So your car should take up only one space. And you should not have engaged in a verbal confrontation with a child.

No idea about the legalities of the situation but YWBU.

VerySmallSqueak · 20/04/2013 17:31

Use this as your reason OP to find out a little more about the law.
Find out what can and can't be done.
Find out what you do should you be arrested.

You would have felt a lot less anxious if you knew where you stood on this one - so now make sure you have that knowledge.

Rosesforrosie · 20/04/2013 17:31

You sound charming OP Hmm

If you want my tuppence which you don't

You were in the wrong. Teen also in the wrong. Whole thing unpleasant but not really a police matter.

To avoid this type of thing happening again, stop parking so badly, your excuse for it doesn't hold water.

everlong · 20/04/2013 17:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VelvetSpoon · 20/04/2013 17:31

If you can't open the door of your car you park on the end of a row.

I don't even drive and I know well enough not to park occupying 2 spaces! If it was a pay and display car park you would have been ticketed.

Possibly the other spaces that were vacant when you came out were occupied when the boy's father parked his car, and yours was the first vacant one he could find.

As for it being a waste of police time, I wouldn't like some random shouting at my teenager in a car park for something his father had done especially when she was the one in the wrong. If he was alarmed/distressed by it then it is a public order offence. AFAIK, it doesn't even need to be swearing. The OP is lucky not to have been cautioned, people have been for far less.

lljkk · 20/04/2013 17:33

Oh well, you've discovered how nasty it is to be falsely accused of something. Keep that in mind next raging thread on here about "Better safe than sorry" when it comes to accusing folk of anything involving vulnerable people.

If you parked that much over 2 spaces I don't quite get why you couldn't have got your DS in from the other side (side not next to the car that was squeezed up too close for your liking). That's the idea, if you park across 2 spaces you are doing it to make sure you've got extra space on both sides.

Sliding doors is the way to go in future. Even with sliding doors I have to be very careful about where I park my beast/7 seater, and I dread DC banging a door into next car if they ever ride in front.

FarBetterNow · 20/04/2013 17:34

SoniaGluck: you are a fantastic voice of reason.
Sanctimonious is a really good description.

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