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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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HELP! Police at my door - apparently I have committed an offence.........

650 replies

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 16:20

Police just came as they have received a complaint against me.

Yesterday afternoon I nip to Tesco after school pick up. No P&C spaces so I park further down in a row of which is almost all empty spaces. I have a large 7 seater (4 DC) and get fed up of people parking so close that I can't get the toddler into his car seat without a struggle, so I park a quarter way over the next space hoping no one will park in that space as there are plenty more empty spaces next to it. I rush round, get a call from DD as she has forgotten her keys and is waiting outside the front door at home, so go quicker, get outside and find some BUFFOON has parked in the space I have parked over, so close that I can only just about get the door open on the toddler's side. The next space was empty!

As a see this, I hold my hands up and say to the DC, 'For gods sake, why did this idiot have to park so close' not seeing that there is a teenage boy sat in the car. I was not actually talking TO him at that point.

Conversation then goes something like this:
Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'. I tell him it would be common decency for his father to make sure the next car can open their doors. As I am in a rush, I try to squeeze DS through the door, hitting his head in the process. He starts crying. The boy in the next car laughs. I take the trolley back muttering 'tosser' to myself and give him an evil stare as I drive off furious at myself for not parking in the middle of 2 spaces and for even having a dialogue with the boy.

So police just came and said I had committed a public disorder offence as I was 'shouting, screaming and swearing' at the boy which has left him very shaken as he suffers from anxiety. The boy wants a written apology from me and if I do that, it will not go any further. Otherwise I will have be interviewed and give a written statement.

I have said that I am not apologising as I have not committed any offence and the boy was mouthing back to me very confidently and did definitely not look anxious to me! I do actually suffer from anxiety and depression and this has completely knocked me for 6.

The police will call me to arrange an interview next week. I can't believe it. I am pretty sure I did not even raise my voice. There was no one else about except my DCs and they are adamant I did not shout or swear (I have even started doubting myself). I am going back to the store on Monday to request the CCTV footage but they are not sure if anything will show up in the car park and it probably won't have picked up my voice anyway to prove I was not shouting.

I cannot understand how the police can tell me that if I write an apology, they will drop it, when they have no proof that I did anything. They were making out I was guilty Angry. Does this constitute a public disorder offence? I was just about to go out with the DCs to park before the police came. I am frozen with fear now.

OP posts:
FarBetterNow · 20/04/2013 17:09

Fallon: So most normal cars have two front seats and three back seats, giving a total of FIVE seats.
The OP has four children and presumably a DP/DH (or maybe not).
Four add two equals six.
Six people in a five seater car isn't legal.#
Therefore the OP does need a seven seater car.

ChunkyPickle · 20/04/2013 17:09

Exactly BeerTricks.

Keying a car now, that would be properly illegal and totally out of proportion to the offense of annoying. I actually think that the police should be stamping down on that kind of offense (much like bumping into someone and driving away)

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 17:09

I was verbally abusive. I swore at the boy. FFS I am sure people on here deliberately pretend they can't read. I muttered 'tosser' to myself. I did not call him it and is tosser a swear word?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 20/04/2013 17:10

Cars with sliding rear doors are the way to go......

tiggytape · 20/04/2013 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MummaBubba123 · 20/04/2013 17:10

Right... I would write the damn letter even though you are not in the wrong.
Something along the lines of:
Following our chat yesterday, I understand that it made you anxious to be spoken to by an adult about the car parking situation. I was not aware that you were sensitive as you were speaking to me with such confidence. Well done! you little shit bag
I am sorry if I spoke to you in a way that made you nervous and upset. I'd never do this intentionally. Had I known that you seemed confident you f.ing little shit, I'd have waited to speak to your inconsiderate father.
Yours sincerely,
fucked off mumma

SocialButterfly · 20/04/2013 17:10

All I can say is that by the tone of replys on here I can quite imagine you shouting at him.

I hate people who park as you o and probably would have said something if you had parked like tht near me it's very inconsiderate.

Re the police no idea but as you already think YANBU I'm not sure why you posted

BigBoobiedBertha · 20/04/2013 17:10

TheAccused - You aren't in the wrong but you made the mistake of posting in AIBU? This thread was more about getting advice than asking if you were being unreasonable anyway.

It was inevitable that there are those who don't read the OP, don't get that you parked where there were lots of spaces and nobody was missing out on a space. I am still puzzled why people think it is OK to park so close to another car that they can't actually get into it when there is no need. I also can't work out how the boy and his father can have been in their space and not over the line which makes them just as bad as the OP. They could have parked properly elsewhere given all the space.

GreenEggsAndNichts · 20/04/2013 17:10

If you want to park like you own the place, then park at an angle across both spaces. This will keep people from attempting to park next to you. I've not done it myself but I see it from time to time, presumably people who need wheelchair access (I hope, anyway!)

As for the police thing, what a waste of police resources and time.

digerd · 20/04/2013 17:12

I can't believe this was a police matter. There was no physical assault or threatening/intimidating behaviour.

When were words treated as a criminal offence.?

And where was the proof, anyway?

MummaBubba123 · 20/04/2013 17:13

Newish to Mumsnet. Not figured out the crossing out. Lol

Sparklingbrook · 20/04/2013 17:14

New to MN and posting in AIBU Mumma. Respect! Grin

tiggytape · 20/04/2013 17:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tiggytape · 20/04/2013 17:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MummaBubba123 · 20/04/2013 17:15

Would you have been upset if one of your children was spoken to alone like that? If not, write a letter and forget it.

VerySmallSqueak · 20/04/2013 17:16

I haven't read the thread through,but personally if I was accused of committing a Public Order offence I would have my day in court,if I thought I was not guilty.

calypso2008 · 20/04/2013 17:16

People on this thread, in the main, have been really helpful and sympathetic.

You have come back with agressive responses. I am wondering if you were actually more agressive in real life than you imagine. I can't imagine responding to the nice answers and helpful answers you have had on here, by swearing, saying 'people on here can't read' etc...

I am glad I didn't park next to you TBH.

Sparklingbrook · 20/04/2013 17:16

Lucky it was a Tesco car park though. The car park in town issues £60 fines if you aren't parked within the lines of a space.

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 17:16

No I don't want to park like I own the place Hmm. Just to be able to open my doors. Is that really so hard to understand?

BigBoobiedBertha Thanks and I know but I wanted high traffic. I was frantic for a while there. Phew.

OP posts:
DeepRedBetty · 20/04/2013 17:16

Since I'd tell dtds off if they said it, yes, 'tosser' is a swear word.

Salmotrutta · 20/04/2013 17:17

The boy may well have told the police that he was threatened and intimidated though!
That is an offence that the police have to act on digerd

everlong · 20/04/2013 17:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Guitargirl · 20/04/2013 17:19

digerd - 'When were words treated as a criminal offence?'

Er...you are kidding right?

Sparklingbrook · 20/04/2013 17:19

I wonder if they are phoning Claims Direct for injury to feelings caused.

Salmotrutta · 20/04/2013 17:19

Oops.

I see tiggytape already said that.

I'm so slow at typing Sad