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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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HELP! Police at my door - apparently I have committed an offence.........

650 replies

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 16:20

Police just came as they have received a complaint against me.

Yesterday afternoon I nip to Tesco after school pick up. No P&C spaces so I park further down in a row of which is almost all empty spaces. I have a large 7 seater (4 DC) and get fed up of people parking so close that I can't get the toddler into his car seat without a struggle, so I park a quarter way over the next space hoping no one will park in that space as there are plenty more empty spaces next to it. I rush round, get a call from DD as she has forgotten her keys and is waiting outside the front door at home, so go quicker, get outside and find some BUFFOON has parked in the space I have parked over, so close that I can only just about get the door open on the toddler's side. The next space was empty!

As a see this, I hold my hands up and say to the DC, 'For gods sake, why did this idiot have to park so close' not seeing that there is a teenage boy sat in the car. I was not actually talking TO him at that point.

Conversation then goes something like this:
Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'. I tell him it would be common decency for his father to make sure the next car can open their doors. As I am in a rush, I try to squeeze DS through the door, hitting his head in the process. He starts crying. The boy in the next car laughs. I take the trolley back muttering 'tosser' to myself and give him an evil stare as I drive off furious at myself for not parking in the middle of 2 spaces and for even having a dialogue with the boy.

So police just came and said I had committed a public disorder offence as I was 'shouting, screaming and swearing' at the boy which has left him very shaken as he suffers from anxiety. The boy wants a written apology from me and if I do that, it will not go any further. Otherwise I will have be interviewed and give a written statement.

I have said that I am not apologising as I have not committed any offence and the boy was mouthing back to me very confidently and did definitely not look anxious to me! I do actually suffer from anxiety and depression and this has completely knocked me for 6.

The police will call me to arrange an interview next week. I can't believe it. I am pretty sure I did not even raise my voice. There was no one else about except my DCs and they are adamant I did not shout or swear (I have even started doubting myself). I am going back to the store on Monday to request the CCTV footage but they are not sure if anything will show up in the car park and it probably won't have picked up my voice anyway to prove I was not shouting.

I cannot understand how the police can tell me that if I write an apology, they will drop it, when they have no proof that I did anything. They were making out I was guilty Angry. Does this constitute a public disorder offence? I was just about to go out with the DCs to park before the police came. I am frozen with fear now.

OP posts:
firesideskirt · 22/04/2013 11:39

the police are wasting time and resources here. OP YABU a bit, but no more than anyone else who's ever got involved in heated parking discussions with a bit of temper. it happens. The parent is clearly BU for wasting police time when he should have just had a moan about you with his boy and left it there.

It's like something out of Private Eye (if you have ever read the Neasden station log, which is pretty funny).

prettyfly1 · 22/04/2013 11:48

Having recently been blocked in a number of times, outside shops, outside the school pretty much anywhere where someone deems my ford ka to have wings and be able to fly out of a parking space I actually think you are very in the wrong here. It IS entitled, it IS rude and it IS really, really annoying to have to deal with someone who thinks that their needs on the rude come first purely because they exist. Also having read most of the thread, you are also more than capable of firing back at anyone who dares question whether you are right or not, so I feel that your own behaviour is suggesting that you have no qualms whatsoever having a go at a child - you should just have walked away. You did park badly, you did call his dad a name, why on earth do you think you should get away with it?

That said the police in this country are very, very busy and I think they are wasting time. Do the grown up thing, so sorry and in future either park better or accept that people will not appreciate it and grow a thicker hide.

prettyfly1 · 22/04/2013 11:49

Lol - road, not rude. Freudian slip there.

ItsYonliMe · 22/04/2013 11:58

Just a quickie and I haven't read the full thread but I find it quite unbelievable the police have called to see you and are trying to bargain with you. Incredible. The only witnesses are your children. Tell them you are not interested in taking the dialogue any further.

DottyboutDots · 22/04/2013 12:01

Whatevs. I lived in a country where everyone routinely parks in two spaces or parked behind you blocking you in, before disappearing. Two spaces doesn't even warrant nt a raised eyebrow to me anymore, it doesn't actually affect anyone if there are still other spaces around. Who the fuck gets frothy about this kind of shit. Even if someone blocked you in, you called the cops, they called the registered owner and someone rocked up within an hour to move it. That was annoying.

OP, YABU to mouth off with a teen about their parent's behaviour but how it got to be a police matter is an embarrassing indicator of the UK's current culture.

TheAccused · 22/04/2013 12:31

*Conversation then goes something like this:
Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'. I tell him it would be common decency for his father to make sure the next car can open their doors. *

Explain please how that is argument, being rude, or having a 'go' at the boy.

If he had any sense at all he would have shut up after Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. I did not shout, swear or raise my voice.

He then told ME that I should not have parked over the line. Meaning that he knew full well that his dad had parked too close to me deliberately as he would'nt have been able to see where the line was from where he was sitting. I maintain that his dad probably told him to stay in the car so he did'nt have to move it enough for him to get out. He looked 18 at least. He was not a young child.

They WERE both tossers and the pot of chocolate frosting in my glove box will come in handy in the future especially in that Tesco (and I ain't afraid to use it!).

Off to make a complaint to the police now.

OP posts:
hobnobsaremyfavourite · 22/04/2013 12:35

oh grow up

HorryIsUpduffed · 22/04/2013 12:37

Accused, if you can't see how that is aggressive or an argument then either you are describing it poorly or your day-to-day interactions are a lot angrier than mine.

Engaging in disagreement with someone who has already pointed out he had nothing to do with it is argumentative/aggressive. We all appreciate that you were wound up, but your "conversation" with the boy could never have achieved anything.

And "well tell your father to xyz" is pretty low.

lemonmuffin · 22/04/2013 12:37

Good grief. This is not normal behaviour. You know that don't you.

kissmyheathenass · 22/04/2013 12:47

Havent read all of thread but wanted to say to OP, similar happened to me.

I had a go at a woman who parked in p&t space (she had no dcs with her, I had 3 young dcs in carseats, pushchair etc and had to squeeze into normal space). Police came to my house and said they had had a complaint from aforementioned woman that I had shouted ffs. Apparently she wanted an apology from me. I told them she should apologise to me for nicking a space I needed. I also told police I was appalled at the timewasting her complaint had caused. Police went away and I heard nothing more.

Hope common sense prevails. Good luck.

MadBusLady · 22/04/2013 12:50

This bonkers thing is still going?? Well, I did report, fat lot of good that seems to do.

Pendeen · 22/04/2013 12:52

Glad to hear it didn't go any further OP.

As you have stated, the car park was fairly empty then the other driver was an idiot to park so close to you, no question about that.

LibertineLover · 22/04/2013 12:54

Report what madbuslady?

MadBusLady · 22/04/2013 12:56

The thread. I think it's bollocks. Nobody is this relentlessly bananas.

LadyBeagleEyes · 22/04/2013 12:57

I haven't reported, I did get a post deleted madbuslady.
It just seems to silly to report.

JenaiMorris · 22/04/2013 12:58

You are unhinged OP.

I really, really hope you get a ticket next time, even if this is all Jackanory. At least then you won't have a teenager to mouth off at (unless you pick one at random I suppose - which I wouldn't put past you).

Bonkers.

Sunnywithshowers · 22/04/2013 13:00

What have you got to complain to the police about? If I were you I'd chalk this up to experience and move on. And perhaps hide this thread.

MadBusLady · 22/04/2013 13:00

Well, I thought that, but then I Got Told by MNHQ (while joining in a general moan about how everything was made up at the moment) "Report, report! We love your reports! We'll sort it out!" And does it work - nup.

JenaiMorris · 22/04/2013 13:06

I'd like the thread to stay.

I'm fascinated to see how many people defending an adult woman who mouths off like a loon at a minor, having parked like an utter dick (and in a way that would have got her a ticket normally - she was lucky).

Either there is a lot of puppetry of the chausson going on or MN really has been taken over by JK rejects Confused

Lottashakingoinon · 22/04/2013 13:08

I reported it too Madbuslady with some embarrassment as I had been sucked in earlier on) They said I wasn't the first and that they were keeping an eye on it. Could just be that it's kosher after all, but I can't help thinking that the most charitable slant is that the OP is having fun (but not much!)

Lottashakingoinon · 22/04/2013 13:11

Either there is a lot of puppetry of the chausson going on

Funny you should say that: the OP is indeed getting a lot more support than I would have expected, but about a million pages ago there was a veritable slew of people saying how she was getting a really rough ride and her frustration with other posters was totally understandable and it really smacked to me of the OP getting her mates to pile in

MidniteScribbler · 22/04/2013 13:11

I don't think it's made up. I'm firmly convinced that there really are people this obnoxious and convinced of their own superiority that really do exist.

MyDarlingClementine · 22/04/2013 13:19

Yes I am going to defend her!

She has a problem - wants space, parks in two bays - and she can, there are plenty of spare spaces...she isn't affecting anyone else.....

she is not stopping others from parking, as there are plenty of spaces!

Her problem is solved. Then - someone comes and parks un necessarily close to her,

how is she supposed to feel, go and hug him? cheer and kiss his car?

she is in a rush to get back to her other DD, most people would mutter under their breath.

This boy then mouths off at her, and laughs when her sons head is hit!

she did not see him, then start to pick a fight, it was an innocent mistake, that snowballed.

Lottashakingoinon · 22/04/2013 13:20

Alas, you could be right about that Midnite

Btw does anyone in England say 'frosting' rather than 'icing'? (as the OP does in her last post). Not that it matters either way (just that if the OP is a creative writer from across the pond this detail is a bit of a giveaway...after all it's pretty well known that Tescos are every six yards here, but not so much that icing, rather than frosting, is part of the lingua franca!)

MyDarlingClementine · 22/04/2013 13:23

I have no idea who the op is and I am not her mate.

oh and FWIW when I first started driving I parked so close to a man I could not get out of my car and I was stuck waiting till he came back out the shop, which could have been hours but thankfully was only a short time.

I profusely apologised, told him I was new to driving, he was annoyed but v v nice about it, you couldn't get a piece of paper between our cars...

There was a scraping noise as he pulled away - he could have been a right shit but I was apologetic, it was ME who came up to park so close to his car it was my fault.

Therefore I apologised.

then didnt learn my lesson and went and did it the next week